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The Nuclear Platypus Biscuit Bible: A Spiritual Guide for the Disciples of Biscuitism by [Sni-A-Bar Freak the Fiirst, Pope Gus Rasputin Nishnabotna]
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The Nuclear Platypus Biscuit Bible: A Spiritual Guide for the Disciples of Biscuitism Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review

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Length: 212 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled Page Flip: Enabled

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Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 515 KB
  • Print Length: 212 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: AOM (Arglebargle Omniversal Ministry) (2 July 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B002LARTF6
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #757,726 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Format: Kindle Edition
This is the story of the Nuclear Platypus, a creature created by the all seeing hermaphroditic biscuit god. And it's as ridiculous as it sounds, except it manages to be more so.

Again, if you like the works of surreal comedians like Spike Milligan, you will love this book. It's chock full of absurd characters, story lines and wicked one-liners.

It feels as though it's along the same lines as "The Bible--the Old Testament According to Spike Milligan" in that it parodies religion, but in a manner than pokes fun at all religions (something most comedians can seldom do, unless they revert to stereotypes) through the allegorical tales of the Nuclear Platypus.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 3.9 out of 5 stars 12 reviews
21 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm Converted! 2 Oct. 2009
By Lynn McNamee - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
I purchased this book and within 12 pages decided to convert to Biscuitism. What a difference it made in my life!

I baked some blueberry biscuits and I swear there was a profile of the Pillsbury doughboy on one. I knew it was a divine visitation.

That night I dreamed of 6 numbers, so I used them to buy a lottery ticket. While standing in line to purchase my ticket, I met a man who turned out to be the owner of the Blueberry Biscuit Bakery, and he asked me on a date!

On the way home, I stopped off to buy the makings for some chocolate gravy to put on my nightly biscuits. While I was in the checkout line, the man in front of me pulled a gun to rob the store! I reached into my basket and pulled out a can of the store brand biscuits. I threw that can and hit the man square in the head. He fell to the ground, out cold. The manager promised me a lifetime supply of biscuits from his store.

Just when I thought life couldn't get any better, I watched the Lottery Drawing on television. I won!

Now, I can donate millions to the Church of Biscuitism. We will stand and fight the Cornbread Elitists!
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A tome for our time 28 Aug. 2009
By The Mad Hatter - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
The Biscuit Bible was originally published in the late 80s, and became something of a cult classic. Long out of print, the book is now back--in a significantly expanded and lavishly illustrated format. For the uninitiated: the BB tells the history of the fictional "Church of Arglebargle," the world's oldest and largest biscuit cult. You'll meet the "God-Biscuit," (the Church's fashion-obsessed deity), the God-Biscuit's right-hand man, the "Nuclear Platypus," and grow to loathe their evil nemesis "SpapOopGannopOlop." Along the way you'll be entertained with all manner of Biscuitism apostasy and heresy.

The BB is more than merely a history though. In fact, the author finds time for digressions galore, like a translation of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" into binary code (imagine pages of 0s and 1s), and a menu from a restaurant called "Quing's" that includes the delicacy "The Space Between Food" for the weight-conscious, and "Primordial Soup," which is described as a "...convenient dehydrated soup for lunch on the go. Just add water, carbon and deoxyribonucleic acid, microwave it and you've got life!"

In fact, the BB is so subversive, self-reflexive, and just plain ole goofy that its impossible not to admire it. The author is making some serious points about religion, American culture, and literature itself, but you might be laughing too hard to notice. If Laurence Sterne had created a religion, this is the text he might have written. Especially if had spent a good portion of his youth watching TV, jonesing for fried food, ingesting an ungodly amount of LSD, and becoming an expert in all things kitschy and American.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Break-hearting Work of Genius Staggering 22 Aug. 2009
By Dermot Canniffe - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
This book changed me forever. I can now see into the depths of perception (I had no depth perception prior to reading this book)! I now understand the nature of the universe in all it's infinite complexity, and it is indeed Biscuit-shaped. I came to understand my own inner biscuitism, and how I am a part of the super-biscuit, like some tiny chocolate chip or oat flake in the fabric of reality. Most critically, I no longer desired to posess my mother and kill my father. In your face Freud!
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life is different now. 22 Aug. 2009
By gick - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Yes,life is different now.Because of the Biscuit Bible.What I thought was no is now maybe.What I thought was a pizza is now a brussels sprout.What was a void, now has a cheese plug.It opened my eyes and my mouth.I see things more clearly and,I'm not as hungry.I carry a cheese plug where ever I go.Just in case.If you see me,ask for a sample.I have different flavors.And designer shapes.I'm a nicer person now.I like to share.Join me in this new revolution.Consider this necessary reading for the modern person.And don't forget,Jesus saves at Maplewood Pawn.You too can get 5% off.I love you.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Epic battles of good vs evil vs indifference ! 24 Aug. 2009
By RevRalph - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Politics, religion, politics OF religion, poetry, philosophy and epic battles of good vs evil vs indifference that shake the foundations of reality can be found between the covers of this sacred tome. Or they would if everything were real. You may start out reading the Biscuit Bible thinking "huh?", but you'll finish it by proclaiming "HUH!". Sophisticated layered humor which, just when you think it's taking itself too seriously, becomes so absurd you can't help but laugh out loud. The Nuclear Platypus Biscuit Bible offers what no other biscuit cult can begin to deliver, then turns those promises on it's ear and rises to new heights. But remember, it's all up to you! This book offers everything to everyone and nothing for no one. Lest you begin to use it as a crutch it forces you to confront the deep question in your soul: CAN YOU PASS THE BISCUIT TEST??
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