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The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age by [Burgo, Joseph]
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The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age Kindle Edition

4.9 out of 5 stars 52 customer reviews

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Length: 300 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Review

"Just when we had girded ourselves against the sociopath next door, Burgo alerts us to the narcissist across the street. What a neighborhood!" (The New York Times Book Review)

"A guide for understanding our own narcissism and for figuring out the roles these people can play in our lives. Clear, easily digestible pop psychology." (Kirkus)

“Joseph Burgo helps us recognize the variety of ways narcissism can look. By unveiling the early pain and trauma behind these extreme defenses, he not only gives us a way to make sense of these vexing and often cruel behaviors but to feel some compassion for those who, out of desperation, resort to them. A clear and useful guide to navigating the Extreme Narcissists in your life.” (Jasmin Lee Cori, MS, LPC author of The Emotionally Absent Mother and Healing From Trauma)

“A terrific book! Dr. Burgo has written an extremely readable and clear exploration of Extreme Narcissists. He presents effective strategies for protecting your emotional well-being and your self-worth from their bewildering and often destructive behavior. I highly recommend this timely and important book.” (Susan Forward, PhD author of Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can’t Love)

“Dr. Burgo explores the many faces of narcissistic personality, among the least studied and understood of psychiatric conditions. In layman’s language he describes various sub types of narcissism, venturing past the usual stereotypes of unsympathetic and unlikable grandiosity. Dr. Burgo presents guidance in dealing with 'the narcissist you know.'” (Jerold J. Kreisman, MD co-author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality)

"Engaging and spot on! Joseph Burgo explains the many faces of Extreme Narcissism and what you need to know to stay out of trouble.” (Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW author of Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism)

“An interesting and insightful book on a problem that confuses and frustrates almost everyone: narcissists and narcissistic personality disorder. As the world catches on to the importance of dealing with narcissists effectively, this book will be one of the primers. It describes a wide range of their dysfunctional dynamics, as well as revealing many of their childhood traumas. Dr. Burgo has provided an important blend of wariness and empathy -- both for narcissists and for those who know them all too well.” (Bill Eddy co-author of It's All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People)

"A smart, fresh, and invaluable guide to the types of narcissists and their behaviors, as well as life- and soul-saving advice on how to deal with them or fend them off." (Peg Streep author of Mean Mothers)

"Fresh insight into the troubling narcissism epidemic, providing us with signs to help us recognize and disarm ‘the narcissist we know.’ A fascinating, timely book by a leading expert who offers a real guide to dealing with self-absorbed individuals in our 'all-about-me' culture. Highly recommended!" (Michele Borba, PhD author of UnSelfie)

About the Author

Joseph Burgo, PhD, has practiced psychotherapy for more than thirty years and held licenses as a marriage and family therapist and clinical psychologist. He earned his undergraduate degree in English Literature at UCLA and both his masters and doctorate in Psychology at California Graduate Institute in Los Angeles. Dr. Burgo has been quoted or featured as an expert on NPR and in publications such as USA TODAY, Glamour, The New York Times, and numerous other publications. As a writer on mental health topics, he is a regular contributor to The Atlantic and a frequent blogger for Psychology Today.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 610 KB
  • Print Length: 300 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: New Rise Press (6 Nov. 2015)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B017OROF6Q
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars 52 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #14,895 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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4.9 out of 5 stars
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Helped us deal with and understand a very troubled man
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I’ve read many various books for people who are dealing with unhealthy family dynamics, but this is undoubtedly one of the best. It tackles the full spectrum of narcissism (from know-it-all types to vindictiveness) and describes the typical narcissistic defenses of blame, contempt, and self-righteousness. And then it goes on to discuss strategies for breaking free from the winner-loser dynamic they inflict upon us and building your own healthy life and relationships. While this book will be extremely helpful to anyone who grew up with a narcissistic parent, I would also say that it could be of use to anyone in this age of narcissism. You can’t go wrong getting this book. Joseph Burgo knows what he is writing about!
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While this book didn’t thrill me, it gave me some invaluable information. It also enraged me. When I think about the way I've been treated all my life, I feel sick. All the people who have done this but don't realize or even care. Why am I always to blame for everything? Why am I always wrong? Burgo explains.
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Not a groundbreakingly insightful book for those already familiar with the behaviours of the everyday or more extreme narrcissist - however I enjoyed this book & had great affection for its empathetic way in which views the underlying causes of narrcissim. Having more than a few in the family & meeting a few over the years in my workplace (all varying degrees and types of expression) I related to quite a few of the character case studies and found my self now reflecting on them with more compassion than I did before and questioning myself more in my reactions to them (did I respond to narrcissim with my own narrssictic defensiveness?). I am always interested in learning to improve my own emotional and behavioural awareness as well as that in others and found this book ticked both boxes for me. This book succeeded in humanising narrcisim rather than demonising it and I found this quite refreshing & more helpful in learning ways to respond to the Classic narcissist. The book hasn't really enlightened me further on the disorder, but it has helped me reflect on why it is hard for me to fully break free of a narcissistic parent and where boundries must be drawn. Thank you for writing this book. I'm very grateful.
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Joseph Burgo is a gifted writer. He makes complex ideas easy to understand and his style is engaging. He is particularly good at illustrating the relationship between narcissism and shame. Although extreme narcisists account for only 1% of the population, Dr. Burgo points out that we are all narcissists to some degree. Whether you are thinking of buying this book to understand other people or to understand yourself, I can highly recommend it.
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A really interesting and thoroughly enjoyable read, which will help you to recognise the tell tale signs of an abusive relationship or narcissistic behaviour. An easy read - well written. I will be reading more by this author.
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A must-have for survivors of abuse in any situation. An excellent read, with small exercises that can be done anywhere. I highly recommend it.
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very well written book. The links to his previous work (a book about shame) is clear which give a nice sense that the framework he uses is solid and robust. His concept of shame has profound uses in therapy and I hope his framework becomes more widely recognized and understood. Overall, a great read for anyone interested in not only narcissism but human psyche in general.
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