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4.0 out of 5 stars
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Very good clear calm overview of this important topic
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on 2 October 2013
A very helpful read. Some chapters were especially poignant eg Stay or Go chapter by Patrick Carnes and the last chapter written by a couple who survived this totally devastating condition. I can only wish every other partner out there going through this: give it time (don't rush into irreversible decisions), find help, discover your inner strength and some kind of inner calm will slowly emerge - you are not alone. Here in the UK we might feel isolated but some very good people are pioneering treatment and support programmes and in time there will be more support groups.
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on 5 September 2012
When your world has been totally shattered and you think that no one else could possibly ever been through such shock , misery and betrayal, this book makes you realise that you are not alone. You find that the pattern is the same,the addiction confirmed, whilst it does tend to sway you towards helping the addict and trying to stay ( not a chance ! ) it does confirm that what you are both going through exists and helps you to understand what is essentially an unbelievable nightmare .
Very enlightening , rather scary but invaluable.
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on 21 June 2015
I found this book to be horribly patronising, targeted at the stereotypical 1950s housewife who is unable to think for herself and has nothing else in her life apart from her no-good bad guy abusive husband who is beyond redemption. Includes such topics as 'working out what is wrong with you to have ended up married to a sex addict' which is incredibly unhelpful. Would recommend, if you live in the modern world, not reading this book unless you want to feel worse about yourself and your situation. Much more useful for me was reading Breaking the Cycle by George Collins which gives a realistic and non-judgemental insight into sex addiction - it gave me a balanced understanding which then allowed me to form my own thoughts on the matter and work out how to help myself and move on.
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on 21 June 2012
We found this nothing like as useful as Carnes' other books. It specifically focuses on those whose partners are found out to be cheating on them whether with another consenting adult or paying for prostitutes.

As with many of these books it is written predominantly as if the male is the likely guilty party/one straying, which is ironic since it takes two to tango and there are often many reasons why a man or woman strays in the first place.

Still I am sure it will be of considerable value to some.
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on 2 November 2012
I wish I had read this book years ago! This book had me nodding in agreement as I identified our relationship patterns in each chapter. After years of reading countless sex addiction books to help my partners recovery, I felt amazing to finally read a book for ME to heal and prompt me into recovery. This book is great at not labelling me as a co-dependent but as a trauma victim who needs time to focus on self-recovery and healing. It made me feel that I DO have a right to process these emotions and what my next steps COULD be after yet another relapse by my husband.
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on 22 April 2014
This book is easy to read and I finished it in one night. I found it very accurate and useful in describing the feelings, fears and experiences of the spouse of a sexual addict. There are not many books written for the sexual co-addict and this is definitely a recommended book!
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on 18 October 2014
It sounded like they were talking about me. I have absorbed this and asked my partner to read it too.
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on 19 July 2013
Very insightful book. I felt it validated my feelings of despair and reading it was cathartic. I asked my partner to read it to so he could understand that my emotions were a natural response to the events and it helped him understand the depth of my desolation
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