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Men Can Do It: The Real Reason Dads Don't Do Childcare, and What Men and Women Should Do About It Paperback – 27 May 2013

4.8 out of 5 stars 13 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: ngo.media (27 May 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0955369533
  • ISBN-13: 978-0955369537
  • Product Dimensions: 19.7 x 2 x 13.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 719,507 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Review

A highly entertaining plea for men to become great dads... An engaging manifesto: proof that dads can be capable and caring when it comes to babies --Oliver James, broadcaster, child psychologist and author of 'How Not to F*** Them Up' and 'Love Bombing'

Gideon Burrows perceptively and powerfully takes on the last taboo in childcare, challenging the very foundations of the contemporary debate about parenting. --Duncan Fisher OBE, co-founder of The Fatherhood Institute and Dad.info

Witty and honest. A wake-up call for all new parents. --Hello! magazine

Men can do it and we need to talk about that more. A very timely book. --Fiona Millar, author of The Secret World of the Working Mother

About the Author

Gideon Burrows is a writer and involved father. He didn't realise other men didn't do an equal role in childcare, until it was too late to change. Just like his wife, he spends half the working week looking after their children. Gideon has written a number of books on charity communication and the arms trade. He has also worked as a freelance and staff journalist for The Guardian, Third Sector, Community Care, The New Statesman, New Start and Municipal Journal. He has written for hundreds of charities, working on their websites, newsletters, fundraising materials and annual reports.

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Ok where to start about how brilliant this book is...
Firstly it is a witty entertaining read - just what tired parents need! It really is a page turner and I never thought I would say that about a book dealing with parenting...
It is based on solid research, blows up the idea of the growing trend of dads in aprons (I wondered where they all were - thought it was just Wales that was missing them) and has given us a whole new idea of how to do things that will make family life ... well better for all of us.
If only we had read this before (or in the earlier stages of) having children - rather than when they are 5, 11 and 13. But it is never too late and we are inspired!
Highly recommended..
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Format: Paperback
I'm ashamed to write that, due to trying to juggle childcare for three young children and work part time, I haven't actually finished a book for years. This is the exception. The author has made this book an easy and entertaining read. His fluent writing style is accompanied by witty and honest confessions and his arguments are backed up by in depth research, adding further weight to the notion of fairer parenting. In fact, this book prompted a much needed discussion between my partner and I about how we might change our current arrangments for a better quality of life for our family. This included a bit of rebalancing all the way through to him taking a career break, with me returning to work full time. I would recommend this book to all parents to be, to prompt informed discussions before social stereotyping leads the way over rational decision making. I would also recommend it to all existing parents seeking a more harmonious and rewarding family life. The author clearly took the route to fairer parenting and makes it clear it's the best decision he and his wife made. Reading the Epilogue, this becomes even more poignant.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Just finished reading this book. It is a positively shocking eye opener on the realities of fatherhood. As a father of newborn twins I could not find myself living the same life and this book has given me answers to some of my questions. It is challenging as well, because we can take the easy route as dads and do what many of our colleagues and friends would do: to perpetuate inequality for mothers. My biggest fear is to ask my employer for some flexibility or part time alternative. I am lucky in a way because I have some flexibility. The other challenge is to review how I want to live with my children: with enough money or with some extra comfort. It is a challenge because I need to make sure I see work just as a means to an end, not an end in itself.

I do not give five stars to the book, just because I am a foreign dad living in the UK and I think being fair to me is just culturally natural. Some more reference to how diverse cultures tackle this issue of equality in parenting was missing. But that is the only criticism. The book is very inspirational.

Good luck Gideon with your health situation. And I will make sure I enjoy as much as I can my children. Thanks for the encouragement to be a different father.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I really enjoyed this book and have bought several copies for friends. It articulates far better than I could the drawbacks of our gendered society, and about why men and women in straight relationships would benefit from re-ordering their family life.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I've never written a review of anything on amazon before (and I've bought enough). But this book has given me so much food for thought - it is as much manual as manifesto - that I can't recommend it highly enough.

I was wondering why I read so much in newspapers etc about dads doing more hands on parenting/childcare these days - and yet most relationships I could see involved the mum being the main carer and the dad doing a bit at weekends. Why when most of my friends are fairly liberal and progressive in their views, when children came along, it all went quite 1950s - and why they all had individual explanations for why that was, adamant that they weren't sexist. Contradictory arguments ('it's because he's self employed/I'm self employed I have to look after the children while he works...' 'my job was much more secure/less secure, so it made sense for me to take a lot of time off or go part time...') - but all leading to the same scenario. Mum takes a huge step back in terms of work - often thinking it will be temporary, when it isn't - dad is put under pressure to earn more to compensate, works longer hours, becomes much less competent with the children than she is, and ultimately becomes more of a stranger to their own family.

This books shines a light on the sexist expectations and scenarios that come with parenthood - and how we are compicit with them, often without being aware of it. And certainly not meaning to be. It's a myth buster - and really radically assertive about the role dads can and should play. It's also an argument for a healthier, happier family life and the rewards that a close and caring relationship with your children can bring.

But dull and worthy it ain't. It's a very easy, entertaining read that's actually quite uplifting. You don't often get to say that about books involving sexual politics and parenting.
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