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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships Paperback – 29 Jan 2015

4.2 out of 5 stars 550 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Thorsons; Thorsons Classics edition edition (29 Jan. 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0007152590
  • ISBN-13: 978-0007152599
  • Product Dimensions: 13 x 2 x 19.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (550 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 952 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Amazon Review

A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.

He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.

The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine

Review

“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times

“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman

“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily Press

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This is one of the most important books I have ever read. It succintly puts together the reasons why men (basically all men, in any culture) are different from women (all women); why this creates problems of communication in a couple; and what to do about it. I found it fascinating reading and illuminating for its insights. This is a summary table I have written based on the book (sorry it does not appear as a table here because no html is allowed by Amazon. I think it summarizes the main thrust of the argument Gray makes and is spelled out in the video by Paul Dewandre (in French) Les hommes viennent de Mars, les femmes de Venus.

Man:
1) values competence,
2) reasons in sequential mode,
3) wants to resolve a problem alone,
4) is rational,
5) needs trust,
6) needs appreciation
7) is like a dolphin, wants a fish when he gets something done

Woman:
1) values relationship,
2) can do multi-tasking,
3) wants to talk about a problem,
4) is emotional,
5) needs attention,
6) needs understanding,
7) is like a garden, wants to be mantained every day no matter what.
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Format: Paperback
I finally understand why my husband, and men in general, sometimes seem to speak a different language - we do! An excellent book and easy reading. Highly recommended to anyone interested in communicating effectively with the opposite sex.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In my humble opinion, Men Are From Mars - Women Are From Venus should be mandatory reading for 16 year olds in all schools worldwide. I had two relationships of 15 years+ and each went down the tubes - and to be totally honest - I didn't know why! Having read this book:
- I now know why both ended
- how much we both gave to each other - but did not know how much the other was giving
- If I had read the book much earlier, the second - even the first relationship - would still be intact - deeply loving each other
- But no regrets - we can't change the past but I am certainly looking forward to the future !!!
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Format: Paperback
There are not many self-help books that I have found touch the fundamental basics of human nature. This book is a godsend for anyone trying to understand their man/woman, it underlines the differences between the way men and women think, once you grasp this it is much easier to understand your partner and where they are coming from. He also highlights the mistakes that we make in relationships by the way that we react to each other, understand and apply his techniques and you will avoid many arguments.
Although in some parts it gets a bit repetative the elements are there. I have read David Grays other books and this is undoubtedly his best.
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Format: Paperback
.......but now I believe that it has saved my marriage. After years of conflict, when only finance kept us together, plus the fear of being alone, I and my husband have entered into a new phase of our relationship. We have both read this amazing book, and we finally understand both ourselves and each other. Right from the first page, you feel as if you are reading about YOURSELF. And about your partner. And about the dynamic of your marriage or relationship. It is quite extraordinary. We are not unique, we are not alone. PLEASE read this book - even if you think you have a happy relationship. Maybe your partner feels differently, but dare not say so. So both read it. Do it now. A stitch in time.
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Format: Paperback
I read this book in a week, not reading more than 2 hours a day! It is just amazing how it got me totally involved!

After a hard period with my boyfriend, and after my mother reccommended it to me for months, I finally decided to give it a chance. What happened is that I understood some of "common sense" things, some of which my boyfriend was trying to explain for long time unsuccessfully, because what made the difference is a clear and simple way of saying them. In a "loving" way! The author holds a PhD in psychology, and has a lot of experience so he is able to communicate his messagge in a successfull way.

Personally, it saved my relationship from sinking forever. Now I understand that I was always loved, even my "rubber band" boyfriend had the need to "pull away" to fulfill his need for independence.

I strongly suggest it to everyone, it can change your life.

The fact that it is so repetitive is because it is supposed to teach, and not just to entratain, so for the message to get through it needs to be repeated. It worked with me. Now I can't wait for my boyfriend to read it as well.

I feel like an entire new life is in front of me, thank to this book!
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Format: Paperback
This is the single most helpful book on relationships between men and women that I have ever read (and I've read plenty!). I wish I'd read it years ago, but I'd been a bit put off by the title. John Gray explains the differences between the male and female psyche so clearly. While women long for respect and love and romance, men need to be admired and trusted and appreciated. We keep giving each other what WE want, not what they want, then wonder why it doesn't work out. I can't thank John Gray enough for this book - it really has transformed my life.
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