Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships Paperback – 29 Jan 2015
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A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.
He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.
The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine
“Devoted readers praise Mr. Gray as the saviour of their marriages and his book as the brick that finally knocks some sense into their mates” Washington Times
“When I was 21 and freshly dumped by Harry, my first really grown-up boyfriend, where did I turn but John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? It was reassuring to know the reason I’d been dumped wasn’t because I was rubbish in bed” New Woman
“Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus has shed light on countless relationship problems, offering an explanation for many social inequalities…a hot topic of debate in households and offices throughout the world” Eastern Daily PressSee all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
1) values competence,
2) reasons in sequential mode,
3) wants to resolve a problem alone,
4) is rational,
5) needs trust,
6) needs appreciation
7) is like a dolphin, wants a fish when he gets something done
1) values relationship,
2) can do multi-tasking,
3) wants to talk about a problem,
4) is emotional,
5) needs attention,
6) needs understanding,
7) is like a garden, wants to be mantained every day no matter what.
- I now know why both ended
- how much we both gave to each other - but did not know how much the other was giving
- If I had read the book much earlier, the second - even the first relationship - would still be intact - deeply loving each other
- But no regrets - we can't change the past but I am certainly looking forward to the future !!!
Although in some parts it gets a bit repetative the elements are there. I have read David Grays other books and this is undoubtedly his best.
After a hard period with my boyfriend, and after my mother reccommended it to me for months, I finally decided to give it a chance. What happened is that I understood some of "common sense" things, some of which my boyfriend was trying to explain for long time unsuccessfully, because what made the difference is a clear and simple way of saying them. In a "loving" way! The author holds a PhD in psychology, and has a lot of experience so he is able to communicate his messagge in a successfull way.
Personally, it saved my relationship from sinking forever. Now I understand that I was always loved, even my "rubber band" boyfriend had the need to "pull away" to fulfill his need for independence.
I strongly suggest it to everyone, it can change your life.
The fact that it is so repetitive is because it is supposed to teach, and not just to entratain, so for the message to get through it needs to be repeated. It worked with me. Now I can't wait for my boyfriend to read it as well.
I feel like an entire new life is in front of me, thank to this book!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Some points I didn't agree with but lots of food for thought too.Published 1 day ago by Susan Pattinson
MUST read for anyone who is married or plans to get married.
Has really changed the way i look at things
Never thought things could be so simple when they are clear!Published 24 days ago by Amazon Customer
This is my second book, I'm never put it down. Highly recommend!Published 27 days ago by Amazon Customer