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The Madness of Grief: A Memoir of Love and Loss Hardcover – 1 April 2021
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THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
'Immensely moving and disarmingly witty' Nigella Lawson
'Such a moving, tough, funny, raw, honest read' Matt Haig
'Beautifully written, moving and gut-wrenching, but also at times very funny' Ian Rankin
'Captures brilliantly, beautifully, bravely the comedy as well as the tragedy of bereavement' The Times
'Will strike a chord with anyone who has grieved' Independent
Whether it is pastoral care for the bereaved, discussions about the afterlife, or being called out to perform the last rites, death is part of the Reverend Richard Coles's life and work. But when his partner the Reverend David Coles died, shortly before Christmas in 2019, much about death took Coles by surprise. For one thing, David's death at the early age of forty-three was unexpected.
The man that so often assists others to examine life's moral questions now found himself in need of help. He began to look to others for guidance to steer him through his grief. The flock was leading the shepherd. Much about grief surprised him: the volume of 'sadmin' you have to do when someone dies, how much harder it is travelling for work alone, even the pain of typing a text message to your partner - then realising you are alone.
The Reverend Richard Coles's deeply personal account of life after grief will resonate, unforgettably, with anyone who has lost a loved one.
- ISBN-101474619622
- ISBN-13978-1474619622
- PublisherW&N
- Publication date1 April 2021
- LanguageEnglish
- Dimensions14.29 x 1.91 x 22.23 cm
- Print length192 pages
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Review
Immensely moving and disarmingly witty -- NIGELLA LAWSON
Will strike a chord with anyone who has grieved . . . shines with the sort of wry, self-analytical wisdom you might expect from Coles. Full of resonating reflections, ones that urge us all to be kinder, to love more strongly ― INDEPENDENT
Such a moving, tough, funny, raw, honest read. The beautiful articulation of Richard's grief will be a comfort to so many -- MATT HAIG
Captures brilliantly, beautifully, bravely the comedy as well as the tragedy of bereavement . . . simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking, painful and strangely comforting as it confronts the reality of what happens to us all in the end ― THE TIMES
Beautifully written, moving and gut-wrenching, but also at times very funny, each smile and laugh a candle in the dark -- IAN RANKIN
An astonishingly brave, bold and honest book about the tragedy - and unexpected comedy - of bereavement. Such a harrowing, hopeful and comforting book. If I could prescribe Richard Coles, I'd administer him stat to us all ― Dr Rachel Clarke, author of DEAR LIFE
This is not a self-help book on how to cope with death and loss, it is an honest, raw and personal account of a man's descent into the Madness of Grief. Richard provides a frank account of the trials and tribulations he endured during the weeks between the death and the funeral of the man he loved. Funny, sad, touching and thought provoking, it reminds us that grief has no normality, no time limit and most importantly, no rules -- PROFESSOR DAME SUE BLACK, author of ALL THAT REMAINS
Bold, intimate writing . . . THE MADNESS OF GRIEF is not a manual for the bereaved, but as a vivid account of how it feels when the world suddenly falls away, it performs another kind of service ― THE SUNDAY TIMES
Deeply moving . . . has an immediacy that is not born of long reflection and it is all the better for it ― FINANCIAL TIMES
Heartbreakingly sad and searingly honest . . . For those who find themselves bereaved, this book is sure to help ― DAILY MIRROR
You don't need to be religious to find comfort in this book. Anybody who has experienced a similar complex grief will relate to many of Coles's anecdotes -- Helen Brown ― THE DAILY TELEGRAPH
In this memoir, Coles shares his truth, stays kind, and, when possible, brings a smile . . . By reflecting the hurts of others' losses with such beauty and integrity, he confirms that it is his open humanity that is priestly. It gives me yet another reason to admire him ― CHURCH TIMES
An honest book, and a brave one ― THE OLDIE
Moving and candid, this book will resonate with anyone who has lost a loved one, or has had to cope with someone they love whom they just cannot help ― I NEWSPAPER
Although not a self-help book, the homilies, experience and catharsis within creates invaluable solace. It will resonate for the myriad struggling with grief wrought by the pandemic ― THE QUIETUS
Beautifully written, raw and deeply personal . . . A revealing and often funny insight into love and loss ― ATTITUDE
This brief, wise, frank book deals with the surreal mundanity of bereavement ― THE DAILY TELEGRAPH, Books of the Summer
His reading is pitch-perfect . . . creating an aural kaleidoscope. It is, at heart, a meditation on the nature of loss and one that is as strangely comforting as it is wrenching and painful -- Alex Clark ― FINANCIAL TIMES, Audio Books review round up
A WORTHY heir to C. S. Lewis's 'A Grief Observed'... To be in Coles's company is always uplifting, even when he's writing about unbearable sadness and loss. -- Ysenda Maxtone-Graham ― DAILY MAIL, Best Books of 2021
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- Publisher : W&N (1 April 2021)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1474619622
- ISBN-13 : 978-1474619622
- Dimensions : 14.29 x 1.91 x 22.23 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 56,687 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 70 in Sexual Abuse Biographies
- 116 in Alcohol & Drug Abuse Biographies
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Ultimately this sometimes witty read becomes desperately moving in the inexorable journey towards the laying to rest of a life partner now lost.
Whilst some may perhaps peevishly carp at the many travels Coles undertakes to visit friends offering him succour, I prefer to rejoice he had assembled such a cohort of firm long-lasting friendships which brought such support in the darkest hour.
And I found it moving and brave that he found the self knowledge and humility to write of his exit after the funeral service “There I understood what I was feeling, something so unusual for me I did not at first recognise it: I did not want to be the centre of attention”.
For me, such unflinching honesty deserves our respect. I recommend this meditation on the madness of grief.
It’s comforting to read of devastating grief which matches your own experience.
He very eloquently expresses the shock and pain and madness and loss of grief.
This is an easy read in the sense that it flows nicely - even if the time line jumps around.
Definitely the most helpful book about grief I’ve read so far.
I highly recommend it and wish you peace if you too are grieving
Very interesting
There’s authors partner was alcoholic and that alone caused tensions throughout the relationship. But it’s an addiction and the ups and downs of dealing with it are explained with love and compassion. Clearly there were times of frustration as the effects of alcohol began to take their toll resulting in emergency hospital admissions.
What comes across is that the author is an exceptional human being in every way imaginable. Even at a time of coping with his own grief, he made time for others, it’s a moving and ultimately uplifting read.
Top reviews from other countries
Beautifully written, very moving , almost poetry. I needed to dip in and out as sometimes it was very hard.




