Rev Coles is fluent, articulate, and slightly gossipy. All these skills serve him well in taking us on his journey of paralysing grief after his beloved dies unexpectedly. As the book develops Coles gradually reveals more information and more reminiscences about his spouse and their life together, both in transcendent happiness and furious fallings out. Along the way, his magpie-like interest in art, music, liturgy, faith, dogs, and above all friends, family, parishioners, vets etc illuminate the narrative of his grief with kindness and contradiction in equal measure.
Ultimately this sometimes witty read becomes desperately moving in the inexorable journey towards the laying to rest of a life partner now lost.
Whilst some may perhaps peevishly carp at the many travels Coles undertakes to visit friends offering him succour, I prefer to rejoice he had assembled such a cohort of firm long-lasting friendships which brought such support in the darkest hour.
And I found it moving and brave that he found the self knowledge and humility to write of his exit after the funeral service “There I understood what I was feeling, something so unusual for me I did not at first recognise it: I did not want to be the centre of attention”.
For me, such unflinching honesty deserves our respect. I recommend this meditation on the madness of grief.
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Death is the enemy, and we want to contend, so we try to establish rules of engagement for a fair fight, but there is no fair fight, and there are no rules of engagement. You have no power.Highlighted by 86 Kindle readers- The memory fades, the wound heals – or so you think. I don’t think it does fade, really; you just don’t look in that direction, until you walk through a door and find it there, unchanged, waiting for you.Highlighted by 79 Kindle readers
- Self-pity is neither attractive nor helpful, and while I would allow a moment or two of indulgence to those in extremis, and to myself, it is a good idea to move on as quickly as you can.Highlighted by 55 Kindle readers
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Top reviews from other countries
George.es
Muy bien escrito Describe muy bien el vivir a diario con un alcoholico
Reviewed in Spain on 25 May 2021