Top critical review
79 people found this helpful
It left out the most important bit
on 11 July 2009
This book was helpful, it really was. If there is still a commitment to eachother, and you are BOTH willing to work on what is wrong, the advice in here is spot on. Divorce is a terrible way to 'solve' anything, he is right on this (don't do it!). What he fails to mention is that it takes two people to make a relationship, but only one to break it.
Unfortunately, what the author leaves out entirely in this book, is that this phrase (and it's variants) is known as 'The Speech'.
If The Speech is being uttered by a man, he has already emotionally checked out of the marriage and you won't get through to him, no matter what you say or do. A very old fashioned saying: a man only leaves if there is a woman in his bed or in his head.
Dear woman reader, if your husband has given you The Speech, HE IS ALREADY HAVING AN AFFAIR and the books you need to read are in the infidelity and (especially if he is 40-50 years old) the midlife crisis section. Why? Because being 'in love' is a mutual admiration-based exciting infatuation which he is already in, and which convinces him that what you have (routine, everyday) isn't love. A fantasy for him (being a delusion, 90% of affairs fail), the beginning of a nightmare for you both.
It doesn't mean your marriage is over and it could be the kickstart you need, but in this crisis you find yourself in, this book won't help you yet.