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I Love You But I'm Not In Love With You Paperback – 3 Jul 2006

4.5 out of 5 stars 133 customer reviews

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Paperback, 3 Jul 2006
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Product details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC (3 July 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0747578176
  • ISBN-13: 978-0747578178
  • Product Dimensions: 2.4 x 15.3 x 23.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (133 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 973,971 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description


'It addresses this problem with sensitivity, depth and intelligence, with advice on how to recreate intimacy while retaining a sense of self. Marshall firmly believes that falling out of love does not mean the end of a relationship. His insightful advice makes it hard to disagree' Psychologies Magazine --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Book Description

Falling out of love does not have to mean the end of your relationship - Andrew G. Marshall shows you why not.

Updated tenth anniversary edition of the book that has sold more than 100,000 copies in sixteen languages worldwide, including a new preface.

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
It occurred to me that rather than reading books about how to break up 'successfully' (whatever that means!), perhaps I should buy a book reflecting the situation hubby and me found ourselves in. Rings off, house for sale - such a labryinth of unhappiness, just awful. This book is a breath of fresh air and like nothing I have read before - it definitely told me lots of new stuff. It was like it was written for us - reflecting what we were going through and most importantly helped me to understand some of the reasons why we had got there and how to CHANGE those reasons I could and ACCEPT those reasons I couldn't. This book made an immediate impact and just 2 months later we celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary by putting our rings back on. One of the 'best buys' of my life.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book helped me figure stuff out.
I am one of those people who sees a problem and wants to fix it no matter what. If there is a leaky pipe in the house I will buy a plumbing manual and learn all I can about plumbing then tackle the issue.
I done the same when my marriage fell apart, we had been together 10 years, married for 4 and it was just after our 10 year anniversary when things started going wrong.
She didn't so much tell me she was no longer in love with me but thats what it came down to. We talked for hours, argued and she left for a while.
I then picked up this book and read through it, I laughed a lot us fall into the same traps as so many others, doing the same things, coming to the same conclusions.
I then had a real good sit down chat with my wife and with the help of this book we came to the conclussion that we were no good married, it was not going to work but we still had a fantastic relationship, 10 years of memories and we have been through hell and back.
With the help of this book and a little councilling we have remained friends and are working towards staying friends.

In saying that this is not a magic wand and things need to be worked on. Ego needs to be put aside and a lot of things need to be worked on.
Only time will tell but I am still glad I bought this book.

Will it save your marriage?
Will it save your relationship?

there are no gaurantees to life, no absolutles. Just try.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book was easy to understand, with the different stages of love outlined, suddenly made mine and my boyfriend of 4 years' issues understandable and actually quite common. Things had gotten so bad we had cancelled the wedding and were on our way to living separate lives.

I purchased this book and also another book, in case this one didn't work - a 'get over your breakup book'...
I started reading 'I love you but I'm not in love with you', which is explained in such a way that didn't make me sad, confused - or blame myself. It was just the facts - people fall in love and then when they start to get to know their partners 'real' self (cos we all act on our best behavior in the beginning) we get on each others nerves and the old "grass is greener syndrome" kicks in... Friction begins and turns into arguements that go from "you didn't put the bin out!" into "You A-hole!" And who'd want to stay in THAT kind of negative relationship? Separate beds/bedrooms... No intimacy and nothing but hurt emotions in the air, like a thick foggy layer of denseness... Because if you are 'cured' of your afflictions - you will think that your falling out was a bit, well, dense!

You may think its all over... That there is no where to go but to split up... But DO NOT GIVE UP! TRY THIS BOOK! If you still butt heads and none of the exercises worked for you then there is a chapter at the back of the book 'if the worst comes to the worst'. But hopefully it won't!
It worked for me and my boyfriend (yes the amazing thing is... we fell back in love!) After everything bad that'd happened, and it had been bad for approx 2 years... we discovered 'limerence' again, only this time it is so much better because we know each other for REAL! Our best and worst parts accepted and loved anyway.
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Format: Paperback
I think the government and World Health Organisation should make this book mandatory reading for anyone and everyone before they are allowed to enter into a relationship, to prevent the unenlightened from knacking their relationships without even realising what they're doing. This is like a long lost essential instruction manual, when you read it, you think "Hells teeth! Why couldn't I have read this before I did that!". This book gives great insight into the different stages of relationships, what's normal when, and I SO wish I'd read this book ten years ago! No matter what state your relationship's in, from rainbows and butterflies to copious amounts of wailing, chocolate and alcohol, I'd imagine most folk would benefit from reading this book, and if the worst has happened, it will help you to come to terms with the situation, and possibly promote self awareness, which can only be for the good. BUY IT IMMEDIATELY AND SAVE YOURSELF MANY YEARS OF ANGUISH! Insist that all your children read it, and don't let them start dating unless they have.
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