- Format: Kindle Edition
- File Size: 2598 KB
- Print Length: 457 pages
- Publisher: Northfield Publishing (21 April 2010)
- Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B006IWD40M
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Average Customer Review: 1 customer review
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #321,340 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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The 5 Love Languages of Children/The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers Set Kindle Edition
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Top Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
I began reading this because it was well recommended, and I was searching for the answers to a mystery. I am the kind of person that goes out of their way to do things, specifically, acts of service, for the ones I love. I tell them too, of course, but I am mostly a person who does by deeds, because life has taught me that words can be said without having an ounce of meaning to them. So I was puzzled...I do so many things for my precious daughter, that to me, my love is blindingly, glaringly obvious. And then one day she asks me, "Mom, do you really love me?"
Honestly, I may as well have been stabbed. Part of me is still internally bleeding thinking about it. I know in some ways, because her brother has specialized needs, it may be easy for her to feel less important, because he has needed a lot of help, but even if it cost me personally, I have tried to make sure I have given her all that I can of myself so I was devastated and confused.
And then I read this book, and a few things clicked. This book focuses on the premise that everybody has one of 5 love languages as their primary language, meaning, the way they recognize love as shown by other people. I am clearly an act of service person, but as I read the book, it became very clear to me my daughter was not...she's a words of affirmation kind of person, and that is number 4 on my list, only thing that comes in after it is gifts. So I began leaving her heart shaped notes filled with the things I love about her every day in her school lunch. I started following their recommendations for how to provide constructive criticism or discipline to a words of affirmation child, and holy cow...the difference it made was huge. Now she tells me she knows that she is loved, and she's hording a pile of the notes I leave her in the captain's drawer on her bed, that's how important this was to her.
I also extrapolated it to other areas, like I realized that sometimes when I felt like somebody didn't love me because they failed to do something I asked for their help on, they probably weren't trying to send that message. They almost certainly have a different primary language, and would no doubt be just as devastated as I was if they knew how I had been internalizing such omissions.
So for me, I found this to be a priceless and invaluable read, and I highly recommend it to anyone, especially if it seems like you and your children are somehow out of sink with how you express and feel love.
The author posits that there are 5 basic love languages -- different things that different children need to feel loved. These things are:
2. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality time
5. Physical touch.