Love, Hate and Everything in Between: Expressing Emotions in Japanese Paperback – 1 Mar 2002
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From the Publisher
List of Entry Words and Phrases for the Section "Love and Liking."
In the book entries also appear in Japanese script. Romanization here is without the original macrons. All entries have full-fledged sample sentences in the book, often with literal translations of the entries.
suki = like, to fond of, love (can be used in an extremely wide range of situations)
ki ga aru = to be interested in
tokimeku / mune [kokoro] o tokimekasu = to be thrilled, to be excited, to feel one's heart leap with joy or anticipation
dokidoki suru = to feel one's pulse race with anxiety, fear, anticipation, etc.
omou / omoi o yoseru = to feel something for, to have [someone] on one's mind, to be hung up on, to have feelings for
akogareru = to be infatuated with, to be attracted to, to dream of, to aspire to shitau = to long for, to idolize, to adore
kataomoi = unrequited love, one-sided love
misomeru = to feel, on first meeting, that someone is just the person you've been looking for
horeru = to fall in love
hitome-bore = love at first sight
hatsukoi = first love, puppy love
koi = love (with a least a slight sexual nuance)
koigokoro = feelings of love
koi no yokan = a sense, on first meeting, that something is going to evolve into love
koi ni ochiru = to fall in love
koi kogareru = to go crazy [with love] over, to like [someone] so much it drives you nuts
ren'ai = romantic and sexual love, a love affair
koibito = a lover, lovers
ryo-omoi = equal fondness [for each other], love that is reciprocated
ayashii / kusai = suspicious / smelly (terms used to tease or gossip about a pair who seem to be just a bit more intimate than other people, implying that they've secretly got something going)
oyasukunai = another way of teasing or gossiping about someone one suspects of romantic envolvement
oiraku no koi = a love that comes along when one is old
ai suru = to love
aijo = love, warmth, affection
ai wa oshimi naku ataeru = to love without restraint or bounds, to give everything for love
jun'ai = true love, pure, romantic love
ai ga areba toshi no sa nante = "If there's love, what's a little age difference?" (Often used to play down an age difference that one actually considers embarrassing.)
soshi-soai = to love and be loved back, to be in love [with one another]
kon'yaku suru = to become engaged [to be married]
kekkon suru = to marry, to wed
aisai-ka = a husband who really loves his wife
koi nyobo = a woman one married for love, and whom one still loves
From the Author
Through teaching Japanese to non-native speakers, as well as editing a number of dictionaries and what have you, I've become somewhat particular about words. Japanese is as rich as any language in its ability to express the spectrum of human emotion. There are any number of ways, for example, to describe love for someone or something--depending upon whom or what is loved, how powerful that love is, and so on. This book is principally concerned with words and expressions that pertain to love and hatred.
I wonder what percentage of Japanese husbands, when told what a lovely wife they have, would respond, "Thank you. I think so, too." And how many would reply "Of course I do" to the question, "You love your wife very much, don't you?" For the most part, they'd be more likely to belittle their wives with answers like, "Are you kidding? You wouldn't want to see her without makeup! She can't cook, either," or "No, I made a big mistake when I married her."
A bigger mistake, of course, would be to accept such statements at face value, when they're actually just a facade to mask real feelings of affection. The diffidence that is such a part of social interaction in Japan has resulted in deprecation being elevated almost to an art form.
At first I wondered if, since Japanese so dislike being disliked, expressions of "hatred" weren't relatively few. In the course of compiling material for this book, however, I soon realized that that wasn't the case at all. I was confronted with a truly astonishing volume of common expressions for everything from mild distaste to absolute abhorrence. This though all anyone really wants is to be loved ...
Tolstoy's observation, in Anna Karenina, that "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" may also be true, at least in Japan, for expressions of love and hate. Perhaps, to paraphrase the great writer, it's simply a case of all pleasant feelings being alike and each unpleasant feeling being unpleasant in its own way.
In any event, the reader will find herein an abundance of ways to express every nuance of love, hatred, and everything in between. Emphasis has been placed on selecting the most commonly heard expressions and illustrating them with simple and natural-sounding sample sentences, to facilitate their immediate use in everyday conversation. It is my greatest hope that you will find this book invaluable when it comes to whispering words of love or declaring war.
In closing I would like to offer special thanks to Yumiko Kawamoto, who provided invaluable advice throughout the course of this project.
Top Customer Reviews
This book is structured vaguely like a thesaurus going through shades of feeling from slightly liking through to various kinds of love, to really hating, as well as some examples of sarcasm and irony. The example phrases are not just applicable to romantic relationships, but can be used to talk about family, friends, or even just general conversation.
The example sentences range from very formal sayings such as well-known and often-used Bible quotations, through to very informal conversational Japanese that is not often found in standard text books.
Quite how you assimilate all the information in here and put it to regular use is perhaps a bit trickier, as there are no practice exercises and no real lesson format.
This is not really a text book as such, more of a useful addition to learning the language at an Intermediate level onwards. The examples are given in Japanese and then Romaji, then the English translation. Some of the more idiomatic expressions are also given a literal translation, which is quite useful for understanding them.
Although the book states that it can be used for beginners, I think it will be of limited use for anyone on a short visit to Japan, or with just a passing interest in the language.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Basically a dictionary of emotional vocabulary, this small book is organized into two large sections, "From Uncertainty to Love" and "From Uncertainty to Hate." In these two are smaller sub-categories, such as Flattery, Sympathy, Tough Love, Love to Excess, Higher Love from Buddha, Frosty Silence, Arrogance and Pride, Finding Fault, Getting Mad, Revenge, Betrayal and too many others to name. Each sub-category has several vocabulary words and phrases, as well as common usage for each entry. Like any Japanese study book worth getting, both romaji and kana are used for each entry.
Anyone looking for a guide to picking up Japanese guys/girls might be disappointed with "Love, Hate and Everything In-between." This is a serious study aid for those looking to expand their fluency in Japanese, focusing on a specific, useful and fun aspect of the language. I have found it particularly of aid in reading Japanese manga, where relationships, both love and hate, form a major part of most storylines.
The only drawback to this book is that it is pretty much a straight dictionary, without any exercises such as are found in the "Handbook of Japanese Verbs." It probably isn't something that you will read straight through, but rather pick an emotion and expand your ability to express emotions in Japanese.
This book does contain a lot of roma-ji, but it also contains a lot of hard Kanji. Usually I'd take off a star, because I really hate roma-ji, but this book deserves 5 stars.
The only thing keeping me from rating it 5/5? The structure means that it's basically a dictionary--there are no lessons, just flat out words and definitions. Sure, you could always make flashcards, but for a book with so many words like this? It's more like getting a grasp of everything that's out there.
As for the examples, you must know Japanese pretty well in order to understand them. They have English, roumaji, and kanji, but by the level that the sentences are at, it would make much more sense to replace the roumaji with kana. Although there is the chance that a person with no experience with Japanese at all should happen to become interested in this book, but for only 2 or 3 days, and only with the intention to confess their love for an exotic Japanese foreigner, or to try and pick a fight with an innocent bystander...
The author covers 32 emotional situations ranging from ambivalence to breaking up. Under each section she offers a word, gloss of its meaning, explanation, and conversation. for the section "Beloved Things" (p. 35) she begins with the word gusai, which she glosses as "stupid wife," followed by an explanation of the meaning: "My wife; my old lady (The tone of deprecation here actually suggests intimacy and fondness)." After that, she gives a short conversational exchange in Japanese/romaji/English. The content is excellent, and I think it is fair to say that I have either used or heard most of the words in this book.
This book is a great aid for those who want to express their emotions, or understand when others are expressing theirs. It isn't meant to be read straight through. Put it in your backpack, carry it around with you, flip through it while you have some time (standing in line, riding the train, etc.), and you will absorb the words. It can be profitably read together with another book in the series that has a narrower focus, Communicating With Ki: The "Spirit" in Japanese Idioms (Power Japanese).
See my Listmania List ("The Power Japanese Series") for more books in the series.