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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone by [GOULSTON, Mark]
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Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone Kindle Edition

4.9 out of 5 stars 27 customer reviews

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Length: 256 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Review

""Just Listen" is a banquet of approaches and ideas that's easy to devour the first time around, and a flavorful feast whenever you use portions as a reference book. It's certainly one of the best how-to books of the year." --"Inland Empire Business Journal"

"useful and applicable techniques and strategies for everything from getting teams to work together, to handling narcissistic clients (or is that a redundancy?), and getting your message across to even the most impenetrable people" --"Accounting Today"

"It's a measure of how contentious work relationships can get that the author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with "defiant executives, angry employees or self-destructing management teams." .... Mission accomplished." --"Time Magazine"

“an impressive bag of tricks… a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful” --"Publishers Weekly"

"The most useful (five-star) book on communicating... Everyone can be a better communicator with the right knowledge, and this book makes learning interesting and easy." --Lindsey Novak, nationally syndicated "At Work" columnist

[starred review] “Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and FBI hostage-negotiation trainer, Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others... This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication.” --"Library Journal"

""Just Listen" is not only helpful for any kind of business, it teaches a skill that will aid you outside of the office too." --"Niche Magazine"

"A primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario -- definat executives, angry employees, families in turmoil, warring couples -- through use of well-honed psychological techniques. Illustrative snippets from counseling session reveal martial-arts like techniques: potent on their own, but even more powerful when you combine them. Chapter summaries feature action steps preparing readers to encounter similar scenarios, yielding a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful." --CareerBuilder.com

""Just Listen" is an excellent guide for learning how to break down barriers." --"Pittsburgh Post-Gazette"

[starred review] "Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and FBI hostage-negotiation trainer, Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others... This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication." --"Library Journal"

"an impressive bag of tricks... a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful" --"Publishers Weekly"

"The most useful (five-star) book on communicating... Everyone can be a better communicator with the right knowledge, and this book makes learning interesting and easy." --Lindsey Novak, nationally syndicated "At Work" columnist

""Just Listen" is not only helpful for any kind of business, it teaches a skill that will aid you outside of the office too." --"Niche Magazine"

"useful and applicable techniques and strategies for everything from getting teams to work together, to handling narcissistic clients (or is that a redundancy?), and getting your message across to even the most impenetrable people" --"Accounting Today"

""Just Listen" is a banquet of approaches and ideas that's easy to devour the first time around, and a flavorful feast whenever you use portions as a reference book. It's certainly one of the best how-to books of the year." --"Inland Empire Business Journal"

""Just Listen" is an excellent guide for learning how to break down barriers." --"Pittsburgh Post-Gazette"

"It's a measure of how contentious work relationships can get that the author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with 'defiant executives, angry employees or self-destructing management teams'.... Mission accomplished." --"Time Magazine"

"A primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario -- definat executives, angry employees, families in turmoil, warring couples -- through use of well-honed psychological techniques. Illustrative snippets from counseling session reveal martial-arts like techniques: potent on their own, but even more powerful when you combine them. Chapter summaries feature action steps preparing readers to encounter similar scenarios, yielding a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful."" --CareerBuilder.com"

From the Inside Flap

You've got a business colleague who's hostile...a client who's furious...a staffer who's deeply cynical--how do you get people to do what you want in tough situations like these? In "Just Listen," veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals the secret to how to get through to anyone, even when productive communication seems impossible. "Here's the challenge," Mark says. "People have their own needs, desires, and agendas. They have secrets they're hiding from you. And they're stressed, busy, and often feeling like they're in over their heads. To cope, they throw up barricades that make it difficult to reach them even when your goals are in sync with their own." But the good news is that there are simple strategies that can make you compelling, and break down the walls that keep you from getting through to the people you need to buy into your ideas and goals. "Just Listen" presents remarkably effective tools and techniques you can use whenever a job, a sale, or a relationship hangs in the balance. How effective are Mark's techniques? One of his areas of expertise is training FBI and police hostage negotiators to handle life-or-death situations. "The same tips I teach these professionals for building empathy, deescalating conflict, and gaining buy-in will work in any situation," Mark says. "Whether you're a new employee fresh out of school, a salesperson, or a CEO, once you master these skills you can take them wherever you go in your career." And Mark has proven these strategies in his own 30-year career as a business coach at companies such as GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Kodak, Federal Express, Hyatt, and Disney. With this powerful yet engaging book, you'll learn how to: - Get the attention of a total stranger who you need to know--like that potential client you absolutely must land. - Talk an angry person up from an instinctual (irrational) state to receptivity, and finally to rationality--a skill that can save a job, a marriage, or even a life. - Use the "Magic Paradox"--a technique the author developed for hostage negotiators--to turn a negative person into an asset. - Master the critical art of buy-in (the foreplay of negotiation, persuasion, and selling) by moving anyone through the "Persuasion Cycle." Barricades between people become barriers to success, progress, and happiness; so getting through is not just a fine art, but a crucial skill. "Just Listen" gives you the techniques and confidence to approach the unreachable people in your life, and turn frustrating situations into productive outcomes and rewarding relationships. Mark Goulston, M.D., is a psychiatrist, consultant, business coach, and is the author of "Get Out of Your Own Way" and "Get Out of Your Own Way at Work." He writes a leadership column for "Fast Company" and the "Solve Anything with Dr. Mark" career advice column for "Tribune Media Services." Named one of America's Top Psychiatrists by the Consumers' Research Council of America (2009, 2005, 2004), he is frequently quoted or featured in "The Wall Street Journal," "Harvard Business Review," "Fortune," "Newsweek" and others, and on CNN, NPR, Fox News, and BBC-TV. He lives in Los Angeles.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 826 KB
  • Print Length: 256 pages
  • Publisher: AMACOM; 1 edition (16 Sept. 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00BZFZJN2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars 27 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #290,034 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
In most lines of business you can spot the losers complaining they just lost the deal, the job, the transfer or the promotion because it went to someone the boss knew, or someone the customer already had a relationship with. It was a stitch-up. It was so unfair. Why didn't they buy the best, or employ me because I was the best? Welcome to the real World. If you want to get on and be a success you need to know how to get on with poeple, what's on their mind, and how you can help them. To do that you'll need to start listening very well. This book tells you how.

Business and life is all about relationships. No relationship - no business. That doesn't mean that the business always goes to the insider - but when all things are equal, the business goes to the person the buyer has the best relationship with. And frankly you won't even get a hearing if you have no relationship.

This book will help. It's very good.
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Format: Paperback
The communication process that Mark Goulston introduces in this book (first published in 2010) can help almost anyone get to almost anyone else who would be otherwise inaccessible. Dorothy and her friends were advised to follow the yellow brick road. Goulston advises his reader to follow the five-step "persuasion cycle." There won't be any flying monkeys to worry about but there may be distractions so focus on the basic nine rules he identifies and master the twelve "quick techniques" he recommends.

In essence, this is how the process should go: Convert the given person(s) from (1) resisting to listening, (2) from listening to considering, (3) from considering to willing to do, (4) from willing to do to doing it, and (5) from doing it to being glad they did...and will continue to do so.

These are among the dozens of passages of greatest interest and value to me, also listed to suggest the scope of Goulston's coverage:

o The Persuasion Cycle (Pages 7-10)
o The Secret: Getting Through Is Simple (10-13)
o Amygdala Hijack and the Death of Rational Thought (16-17)
o Mirror Neurons (19-23)
Note: You may wish to check out Gregory Hickock's The Myth of Mirror Neurons: The Real Neuroscience of Communication and Cognition.
o How Well Do You Know the People You Know? (41-43)
o Why Does "Feeling Felt" Change People?
Read more ›
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
after i had ordered this i thought that maybe it had been a mistake to think that i would learn more about handling my super -critical, patronising 'my way of the highway' boss with this book (esp as i am a trained psychologist!). i was wrong. there are several strategies outlined that i hadn't thought of - and that sound pretty good- esp in relation to managing my own emotions when she flies off the handle (sometimes telling yourself to keep calm isn't quite enough even if you know shes going to apologise later!). i like the illustrative real life stories as well. i am getting to feel a lot more positive about dealing with and building a more positive rapport with the only boss i've ever failed to get on with - its reawakened my interest in trying to fix this if possible -and rather than move on now i've decided to have another go at reaching her using some of these ideas . watch this space and i'll update this review in 6 months.
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Format: Hardcover
Being the life of the party won't help you make a sale. In fact, letting other people take the spotlight will actually garner more admiration and eventual "buy-in," explains psychiatrist Mark Goulston. This advice follows his axiom, "be more interested than interesting," which is one of his nine principles for connecting with others. Goulston, who has trained police officers and U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation hostage negotiators, devotes a chapter each to 12 powerful techniques you can use to be more persuasive. His systems and strategies will help you cross the natural barriers people erect to protect themselves, so you can communicate your ideas and goals. He fleshes out each lesson with real-life examples and engaging stories. getAbstract thinks you'll find this book quite helpful in refining ways to "get through" to others. If Goulston can negotiate with a desperate gunman, he surely can help you sway a customer - or even your teenager.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Brilliant book. I've been taking notes as I go through it because I want to use some of the strategies with people I come into contact with. The strategies can be used with anyone - family members, work colleagues or clients - and not just in those really difficult stressful situations. Your description of a psychopath was truly enlightening and made me realise who you cannot ever get through to, so it's best to just avoid contact with them. Excellent book Mark Goulston.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am constantly recommending this book to people I meet who tell me they are upset at what someone has said to them or the way they have behaved. It makes you realise how many of us don't take the time to thoroughly understand someone else's position before reacting. An essential book for anyone in client service but frankly I think everyone should read it to enhance their life skills.
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