The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive In An Extrovert World) Paperback – 16 May 2002
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About the Author
Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada. She and her extroverted husband have two grown daughters and four grandchildren. They live in Portland, Oregon.
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Top Customer Reviews
Whereas "Quiet" left me feeling uplifted and ready to take on the world "The Introvert Advantage" once again convinced me that my introverted temperament was a serious handicap that i could, at best, learn to accept. The slightly condescending, self help, love yourself as you are, tone of the book generally annoyed me but where Laney lost me for good was the part about energy conservation. I am an engineer and, though I don't claim to be an expert, know the fundamentals of thermodynamics. Entropy is not "Fussy energy" that can be un-fuzzed by going for a quiet stroll. The lack of "energy" we introvert feels after socializing is not the same as actual physical energy as in heat or motion and i don't understand why she would try to make that connection. The author might only have intended to use the explanation of thermodynamics as a metaphor but it does make me wonder how well founded the rest of the "Science" in this book is.
The book is not without merits. If you have already bought it, good for you. If you haven't, read "Quiet" instead. If you have already read "Quiet" i would not recommend reading this book.
I believe that every introvert should give this a read and treat it like a Bible, especially those who are unsure about their own introversion, that do not understand it fully, or feel it is like some sort of mental illness. This book will help you understand yourself and make you feel good about yourself. It does have a lot of helpful tips to those new to the subject; but those confident in their introversion may want to read more advanced books.
Just like the back cover says, it really is filled with a lot of "A-ha!" moments. I would reccomend it to any introvert!
There was a lot I didn't know before reading this book. For example, the author explains the neurological differences between intro and extroverts - extroverts relying on the well-known neurotransmitter dopamine, and introverts relying on the lesser-known acetrycholine. She also explains that there are structural differences in our brains and that introverts use their frontal lobes more than extroverts, a logical explanation for our careful planning and "think before you speak" attitude. The author also highlights bias in studies that have been designed to "prove" that extroverts are happier. She points out that the studies (presumably designed by extroverts) only asked questions such as "I like to be with others" and "I'm fun to be with" rather than how introverts would define happiness - "I'm comfortable in my own skin", "I'm free to pursue my own path".
I gave the book four, rather than five stars because I didn't really find the "advice" part useful. She does give some useful advice, such as polite excuses for avoiding company, but I found other bits patronising such as in the "Introvert Survival Kit" at the end of the book, where she instructs us to carry umbarellas "in case the sun bothers you" and a colourful ski headband "in case the wind hurts your ears". I'm an academic, not a hitchhiker!
Other than my last criticism, the book was very well-written. Much recommended!
I suppose the big problem we introverts have in life is not so much that extroverts just don't get us, but even if you explain it in really, really simple words, they are just not that interested.
The most useful section for me was the chapter that showed the very different ways in which the brains of introverts and extroverts work. Yes it's true, our brains actually are wired up differently and have different chemistry. The diagrams that showed which parts of the brain are used by the 2 types clearly show that extroverts don't really use their thinking, planning, learning and reasoning parts a lot, so my reaction to that was "YES!!!!! That proves they really aren't as intelligent!!!". After I had done my typical introverted mulling process on this, I realized that an extrovert reading that would only focus on the slower/longer brain pathway of introverts and think "YES!!!! that proves they really are slower and therefore stupider!!!"Hmmmmm Guess who would have the last word?
I liked the sections that showed how the 2 types can misunderstand each other and find each other irritating. As this book is really only focusing on this one aspect of personality typing, it is a little simplistic. There is a reference to the difference between right-brain and left-brain thinkers, that gives a little more depth, so there is a sense in which not all introverts are the same, but for me the book was generally a bit too simplistic. The author is a therapist with many years experience and she gives a lot of tips on how to manage situations where conflicting styles and needs can cause problems between the 2 types.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The book was great to understand the differences.
And knowledge puts lots of light.
I recommend this book for the parents, lovers, professionals not only for intros but... Read more
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I'VE EVER READ! Period. The cover's loud proclamation that the book was filled with "Aha Moments" is no joke! Read morePublished 2 months ago by Samuel S.
A revelation as each aspect practically described myself. Also realised why I am so different from my mother and why I will never be like her. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Quiltbee
Excellent book, eye opening about both introverts and extroverts in so many ways.Published 5 months ago by SarahR
Party a self-help book, but with very good ideas for the introverts to know temselves.Published 12 months ago by María
Brilliant book and extremely helpful. Well written and have recommended it.Published 14 months ago by Amazon Customer
An extremely interesting book! I first bought it on Audible but I enjoyed it so much that I had to have a hard copy too. Read morePublished 15 months ago by Phyllis McA