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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It Paperback – 29 Apr 2008

4.5 out of 5 stars 15 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Broadway Books; Reprint edition (29 April 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0767923189
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767923187
  • Product Dimensions: 13.2 x 1.8 x 20.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 15,492 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Review

" If you've ever told your spouse, ' I talk until I'm blue in the face, ' or ' It's in one ear and out the other, ' stop whatever you're doing and read this book immediately! You're about to discover why talking things out isn't always the best way to get through to your spouse or achieve more closeness and connection. More important, you'll learn exactly what you need to "do" today to truly transform your relationship forever."
---Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, founder of divorcebusting.com and author of "Divorce Busting "and "The Sex-Starved Marriage"

"If you've ever told your spouse, 'I talk until I'm blue in the face, ' or 'It's in one ear and out the other, ' stop whatever you're doing and read this book immediately! You're about to discover why talking things out isn't always the best way to get through to your spouse or achieve more closeness and connection. More important, you'll learn exactly what you need to "do" today to truly transform your relationship forever."
---Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, founder of divorcebusting.com and author of "Divorce Busting "and "The Sex-Starved Marriage"

If you've ever told your spouse, I talk until I'm blue in the face, or It's in one ear and out the other, stop whatever you're doing and read this book immediately! You're about to discover why talking things out isn't always the best way to get through to your spouse or achieve more closeness and connection. More important, you'll learn exactly what you need to "do"today to truly transform your relationship forever.
---Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, founder of divorcebusting.com and author of "Divorce Busting "and "The Sex-Starved Marriage""

About the Author

Patricia Love, Ed.D., is an acclaimed therapist and speaker and author of four books, including "Hot Monogamy "and "The Truth About Love." She has appeared on "Oprah" and "Today" and on CNN, and has contributed to many magazines, including "Cosmopolitan" and "Self."
Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is a therapist who specializes in men s issues and has appeared on Oprah in two highly rated shows on men and marriage. He is the author of "You Don't Have to Take It Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One.""


Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Stosny and Love have put together a very balanced explanation - for both men and women, which explains the psychological and emotional realities, and in addition put forward a really practical exercise which can be repeated over and over to bring hope and reassurance to any couple who are sincere about making improvements in their relationship. It can also be practiced unilaterally with good results too.
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This is the most profound, insightful and helpful book on marriage I've ever read and I have read quite a few! Psychologists Steven Stosny and Patricia Love delve deeply into the underlying dynamics of vulnerability that exist between partners and explain why we behave so badly and irrationally.
Unlike other marriage books that focus on behaviour, this one explores the unconscious, automatic reactions and offers sound, practical skills for overcoming them and achieving a truly loving marriage.
Along with his other book, Love Without Hurt, Stosny offers all struggling couples the definitive manifesto for finding the intimacy and compassion we all yearn for.
I highly recommend it to every person in a close committed relationship.

Diane Priestley
Journalist
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It's a few years now since I read it but I have recommended this book to several friends. Packed with useful insights and advice. It has changed the way I interact with my husband and contributed to improving our relationship.
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This book wasn't available on kindle so I bought the other title 'why women talk & men walk' by the same authors as well as I wanted to read it sooner rather than later & I liked the reviews. I also ordered this book in paperback. The content of the book is excellent. I learnt a lot about my relationship, my behaviours & the reasoning behind them but I also felt that if my husband read it he would also feel the same. He would feel, as I did, that someone understood our own perspectives perfectly. The advice for change is relatively simple too but that doesn't mean that it is easy. Habitual thinking & behaviour takes a bit of work & effort but it does seem 'doable'.
The problem is that both books are exactly the same ....word for word. I can't see anywhere that says it's been re titled & if I'd known that I wouldn't have bothered ordering both of them. I do feel the publishers should have made this known as I would not have bothered getting both.
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Format: Paperback
This is a well written book that has improved my marriage. My husband bought it 6 months ago and we're still benefitting from the insights it has provided us. We still have arguments, of course, because lifelong habits cannot change overnight however both of us are now much more able to understand why the other person feels or behaves a certain way which helps us resolve our differences quicker than before. Thanks to the book, we also have a better, more effective way of relating to each other and being more compassionate when the other somehow doesn't measure up to what we think they should be.

I'm sure it would still be useful if just 1 person in the marriage read it and I feel that the insights within the book are also applicable to other close relationships in life. It is FAR more useful than books such as "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" and others of that ilk.
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Some really good tips on the physiology of infatuation and falling in love, and why you feel like you do in that period. And then what changes after that and the effects of the changes on your relationship.
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This book made a lot of sense and it has helped me be better at responding to my wife, to be honest some of this material should be read by everybody before they get married, it would greatly improve the quality of our relationships.

However, I thought that these brilliant pieces were mixed up with material that wasn't so relevant, it wasn't always clear how to apply the recommendations, I thought that there was a bit too much emphasis on issues being tied to a single gender, some more examples would have been good. But my biggest issue is, I thought it was a really good book and really want my wife to read it but how do I get her interest in reading the book without an argument which would lead to her not reading it!!!!
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Very well written, understandable, practical guide how to improve and better understand what's going on in your relationship....Definitely not only for married couples! Avoid many misunderstandings and falling into unuseful, even harming stereotypes.... The only thing we can change in our life is OURSELVES - our atitudes, our perspective, our viewing things, our thoughts, even transform our emotions.
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