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I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing Paperback – 1 Dec 2010

3.9 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone (1 Dec. 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416556869
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416556862
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 2.5 x 22.9 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 981,497 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description


"Kyria Abrahams, former teen bride of a doomsday cult and seeker of salvation in slam poetry, tells the terribly funny story of her improbable life with candor, wit, and an unsparing eye for the perfect detail. Brilliant." -- Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir

"The funniest book I've ever read by a disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witness from Pawtucket. Very funny. Very, very funny. Very, very, very funny." -- Janeane Garofalo

"Amazingly vivid and profoundly compelling. Twisted, touching, absurd, hilarious, and honest. A new kind of memoir." -- Wendy Spero, author of Microthrills

"Kyria Abrahams can do the 'coming-of-age in a sea of eternal hellfire' story like nobody else. Her tale of an adolescence in the ranks of the Jehovah's Witnesses is irresistible, thanks to her hilarious, sweet, and knowing narrator." -- Bob Powers, author of Happy Cruelty Day!

"Miraculous...hilarious....Simultaneously affectionate and aware, Kyria recounts a childhood and young womanhood that at once seems completely universal and breathtakingly bizarre." -- Adam Felber, author of Schrödinger's Ball and panelist on NPR's "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!"

"This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy." -- Publishers Weekly

"A natural writer whose prose flows effortlessly as she easily mixes throwaway humor and painful memories in a compelling narrative." -- Booklist

"Undoubtedly the cleverest lapsed Jehovah's Witness yet, Abrahams offers a graphic, mordant, wickedly distaff take on her life." -- Kirkus

"Hilarious, raw, and touching...Abrahams emerged to write about her experience in an honest, funny, and somehow relatable way." -- The Comedians

"Abrahams provides readers with a profound anecdotal look of growing up as a Jehovah Witness" -- Harriet Klausner, Genre Go Round

About the Author

Kyria Abrahams was a regular columnist for Jest Magazine for several years, where she was featured alongside performers and writers from The Daily Show and Chappelle's Show. As a standup comic, Comedy Central twice selected her as one of ten semi-finalists for the Boston Laugh Riots Competition. She has also been a repeat performer at alternative comedy shows like "Eating It" and "Invite them Up" as well as literary readings like "How to Kick People"-each of them places where the likes of Jon Stewart, Janeane Garafalo, Patton Oswalt, Fred Armisen, and David Cross have appeared. Raised in Providence, Rhode Island she now lives in Queens, New York.

Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I don't know a lot about Jehovahs Witnesses. I remember a couple of kids at school who stood out because they kept themselves to themselves, missed assembly, and didn't have to take boring RE lessons .

My sole interactions with the Jehovahs Witnesses since school have been with a very nice lady called Susan, who occasionally does the rounds of my estate preaching the word of god to anyone who happens to open the door . I'll occasionally have a little chat on the doorstep - not out of any interest in converting to the faith, but because I genuinely have an interest in peoples belief in religion, and what t is that convinces them there is something out there . I remember one conversation where she showed me a copy of the 'Watchtower' that made a few statements against the evils of smoking, drinking, and chewing betel nuts, where she laughingly confessed to not knowing what a Betel nut was - we ended up googling it together!

So, upon starting this book, my mind was a blank slate . Now, the blurb on the inside of the cover made it sound very interesting, informing us the the authors childhood was haunted by the knowledge that all her friends and neighbours were going to die in a fiery apocolypse, smurfs were evil, and that second hand objects were usually posessed by demons . It also said that at eighteen the author, Kyria, 'found herself married to a man she didn't love, with adultery her only way out'. Now, I love a good misery memoir about horrible forced marriages arranged by horribly cruel parents, and settled myself down for several chapters of outrage and shock.

Actually, this isn't a misery memoir in any fashion at all .
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
The Jehovah's Witnesses are no ordinary Christian sect. They are a state within a state and their state is a model of totalitarianism. Although they depend on nation states for schools, medical services, roads and the rest, they have convinced themselves that they, and they alone, have been appointed by Jehovah God as his sole earthly representatives.

Members are obsessively reminded that the world beyond their meeting halls and literature is the province of Satan and will, any time now, be destroyed in a terrifying orgy of destruction. The only escape is to become a full member of the Jehovah's Witnesses and to devote all one's time, beyond that required to earn a living, in the service of Jehovah's organisation. This involves regular, carefully monitored and supervised door knocking. Every JW doorknocker mouths a script identical to that dictated by the New York bosses.

Bearing the above in mind, it is hardly surprising that this ghastly outfit leaves a trail of psychological wreckage in its wake. Escape is difficult; it requires a complete deprogramming session of a mind which has been, often for decades, under the absolute control of this detestable cult. Members are ordered to shun as 'apostates' all who choose to leave, even if they are close friends and family.

A huge number of apostates of this minority cult have published their impressions of the JW life. Most are suffused with anger at years wasted in the service of a lie. Kyria Abrahams is obviously angry, but she uses the weapon of comedy to denigrate this disgusting organisation. Dictators often relish anger; ridicule can infuriate the pompous and self righteous.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Very entertaining - many american sayings and slang expressions, wich can be hard to understand. Verbalize many peculiarity's that frigthtens You as a JW. such as threat of bekoming obsessed by deamons and the anger from Jehovah - No theologically discussion - just questioning. Not a "must have" for ex JW's but funny and entertaining reading - Recommendable for fun reading ! Please have my poor english excused - I'm danish - regards Henning
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Interesting. As a 'born in' JW myself I identified with some of the readers feelings and experiences, I wouldn't say this book explains the JW religion to one who does not know it. It is more a walk through the Authors first 23 years of life.
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