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INTIMACY DESIRE Hardcover – 15 Oct 2009

4.0 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 448 pages
  • Publisher: BEAUFORT BOOKS (15 Oct. 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0825306299
  • ISBN-13: 978-0825306297
  • Product Dimensions: 15.7 x 3.6 x 23.1 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 500,894 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product description

Review

"Readers sick of glossy-magazine self-help patter about reigniting romance, or the droning pomposity of most author-experts, will be pleasantly surprised with psychologist and sex therapist Schnarch (Passionate Marriage). He immediately catches readers' attention by agreeing that the common "just do it" approach to solving sexual problems is not only ineffective, but often results in one partner responding with a decisive 'Don't tell me what to do!' That kind of understanding produces a number of unexpected bombshells--including 'Marriage does kill desire'--which produce an uncanny effect: getting couples to stop and reconsider their emotions, quit blaming each other, and start to thing (and act) differently regarding sexual situations, behaviors and attitudes breaks down complex issues with loosely-drawn real life examples, illustrating the dramatic and fundamental changes that occur when couples have a greater understanding of desire, monogamy and the brain. The process is neither ea

About the Author

David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of numerous books and articles on intimacy, sexuality and relationships. His clinical abilities attract clients and students from across the globe. Dr. Schnarch lives and works with his wife, Dr. Ruth Morehouse, in Colorado.



David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of numerous books and articles on intimacy, sexuality and relationships, most famously, Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships. His clinical abilities attract clients and students from across the globe. Dr. Schnarch lives and works with his wife, Dr. Ruth Morehouse, in Colorado.

Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition
This is an excellent book about understanding how couples' relationships work. You may be put off by all the "four points of balance" and other TM theories - sometimes it sounds like a math book - but don't be. It is long but it's absolutely fascinating. (Thanks also to the other reviewers. A lot of work and thought has gone into some of them).

The message can seem somewhat bleak. You get to fully understand where your partner is coming from by the conflict of "differentiation", because normal communication doesn't work. Then you take it from there and try to act as a team to deal with the problem of sexual mismatches. But understanding can be a great help in and of itself.

The stories in the book are very positive, however, with very good outcomes. This may be surprising given the conflict involved and the amount of theory, but I guess these couples loved each other in the first place, and that is the big plus we all forget about.

Another book which focused on the working of the relationship as the root of the lack-of-desire problem was Rekindle Your Love Life. It basically says that one partner has become stressed and fearful about sex, and it has a more down-to-earth program of changing your own negative behaviors and changing the way she sees you. The man stops the cycle of frustration and rejection, then rebuilds the sexual confidence of the woman, and only then does he start working on rebuilding the sex. It's a very positive ten point action plan, and very easy to follow - and interestingly it concurs with a lot of the theory in I & D - especially the issue of dealing with the constructed image of yourself in your partner's mind.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
It doesn't have the depth of his earlier book Passionate Marriage but gives a good overview specifically concentrating on sexual desire mismatches in monogamous relationships.
Still very inspiring and hopeful but practical too.
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Format: Hardcover
An insightful and helpful read that doesn't lay the blame at either partner. Schnarch encourages us to see the relationship as a separate entity, with both partners playing their part in the inevitable 'emotional gridlock' we find ourselves in with long term relationships. I took my time reading this and worked through each chapter. There is so much in this book that helps, so long as you don't simply read it and put it back on the shelf.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
If you're in a long term relationshipt, or even if you're not in a relationship at all, this book is the best thing you'll ever read about how to have good relationships with everybody you know. No easy quick fix solutions, but a sound and well formulated philosophy for life if you have the desire to change.
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