How to Win Friends and Influence People Paperback – 6 Apr 2006
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About the Author
Dale Carnegie, known as 'the arch-priest of the art of making friends', pioneered the development of personal business skills, self-confidence and motivational techniques. His books - most notably How to Win Friends and Influence People - have sold tens of millions worldwide and, even in today's changing climate, they remain as popular as ever.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
HOW THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN - AND WHY
During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the publishing houses of America printed more than a fifth of a million different books. Most of them were deadly dull, and many were financial failures. `Many,' did I say? The president of one of the largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his company, after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost money on seven out of every eight books it published. Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after I had written it, why should you bother to read it? Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them.
I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for business and professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted courses in public speaking only - courses designed to train adults, by actual experience, to think on their feet and express their ideas with more clarity, more effectiveness and more poise, both in business interviews and before groups. But gradually, as the seasons passed, I realised that as sorely as these adults needed training in effective speaking, they needed still more training in the fine art of getting along with people in everyday business and social contacts.
I also gradually realised that I was sorely in need of such training myself. As I look back across the years, I am appalled at my own frequent lack of finesse and understanding. How I wish a book such as this had been placed in my hands twenty years ago! What a priceless boon it would have been.
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a fact later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute of Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such technical lines as engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering - to personality and the ability to lead people.
For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers' Club of Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of the American Institute of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably more than fifteen hundred engineers have passed through my classes. They came to me because they had finally realised, after years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering. One can, for example, hire mere technical ability in engineering, accountancy, architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people - that person is headed for higher earning power.
In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that `the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.' `And I will pay more for that ability,' said John D., `than for any other under the sun.'
Wouldn't you suppose that every college in the land would conduct courses to develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if there is just one practical, commonsense course of that kind given for adults in even one college in the land, it has escaped my attention up to the present writing.
The University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools conducted a survey to determine what adults want to study.
That survey cost $25,000 and took two years. The last part of the survey was made in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a typical American town. Every adult in Meriden was interviewed and requested to answer 156 questions - questions such as `What is your business or profession? Your education? How do you spend your spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions? Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?' And so on. That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of adults - and that their second interest is people; how to understand and get along with people; how to make people like you; and how to win others to your way of thinking.
So the committee conducting this survey resolved to conduct such a course for adults in Meriden. They searched diligently for a practical textbook on the subject and found - not one. Finally they approached one of the world's outstanding authorities on adult education and asked him if he knew of any book that met the needs of this group. `No,' he replied, `I know what those adults want. But the book they need has never been written.'
I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself had been searching for years to discover a practical, working handbook on human relations.
Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my own courses. And here it is. I hope you like it.See all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
We probably all have at one time or another; and they've probably read this book! The easy-going, anecdotal style enables the reader to quickly understand the principles behind all all aspects of human interaction, and put into operation the principles in the book.
I used to be fairly confrontational and self-centred. If you stick to the principles in the book, you will notice that people become more co-operative, friendly, and you genuinely appreciate you more. And it's really easy to follow these simple rules because they make so much sense.
I didn't read the book to make friends (I've got loads already, honest!), but you do find people genuinely being more friendly towards you and listening to your point of view.
I think everyone should read this book. The title has become a bit of a catch phrase and a cliche, but it hasn't sold 16 million copies for nothing.
Buy it. Read it. And you'll probably end up recommending it to someone else.
As a management consultant, I am always asking our clients and potential clients what their major issues are. It almost always boils down to persuading someone else to change. In many situations, the person describes the situation as getting worse rather than better.
As I ask more questions, I soon learn that the person I am talking to is totally thinking about the issue from her or his perspective, not the perspective of the person they want to influence. Carnegie describes a situation where he and his son couldn't get a calf into the barn. They pushed and pulled, and nothing worked. A maid came out, stuck her finger into the calf's mouth to simulate feeding and the calf followed her right into the barn.
As you can tell from that example, Carnegie is a student of the stimulus-response school of human behavior. The book is divided into four sections: Handling People; Getting People to Like You; Getting People to Agree with You; and Being a Leader. Each section is comprised of a few principles, which are each exemplified in a short chapter with a number of examples. Handling people has to do with avoiding the negative and unpleasant, appreciating the other person, and making the other person eager to accomplish some goal of their own.
Each section follows the same format. Basically, it's the same way that you train any living being. You provide positive feedback to the person which makes them feel better, the person responds positively to you making you feel better, you then help the other person to link what you want to share with them with something they want.
Many people will be offended by this idea.Read more ›
Thoroughly entertaining by using fun and interesting examples, I don't think many readers will regret checking this one out and I like to think of this book as a kind of Human Relations 101 of sorts. Also recommend The Sixty-Second Motivator for further reading on motivational principles.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" shows, through a combination of in depth explanations and real world examples, how anyone can get fantastic results in life purely... Read morePublished 5 hours ago by N. Burgess
Amazing, powerfull book. One book to read every year. Loved it and recommend it.Published 2 days ago by Leonel Gonçalves
Very nicely written and an eye opener. I recommend that you read this book and understand the concepts as they will change your life forever.Published 2 days ago by Eamon Aboushoushah
wonderful book, I'd like to advise to read to anybody, doesn't relly matter if you've got friends or not, it's not about that! Read morePublished 4 days ago by Monika Griciute
I have the physical version but I want to re-read it on kindle, since its one of my favorite books of all time.Published 6 days ago by rgb
One of those books everyone should read.
this is a must read, the title can put people off (I think it is a little cheesy), but it is full of good, sensible, common... Read more
Absolutely brilliant really insightful and useful I can put these tips and tricks into everyday life as well as business. Read morePublished 20 days ago by rach86