A real eye opener! Want the truth? You deserve nothing less. This book will help you get the answers you are entitled to. Focusing on helping you to recongnize betrayers,Dr.Greer,gives you the tools to learn that you have the right to question situations that don't "add up". I have never realized that you can actually make it easier for someone to take advantage of, and continue to actually betray you over and over again. Dr.Greer spells this out with compasion while keeping you from beating yourself up. Is your relationship worth rebuilding? Only you can answer that. You will receive the tools to help you decide. Have trouble trusting yourself because of past failures? You will learn how to start trusting others and most importantly: YOURSELF. A true Godsend. Thank you Dr.Greer
I bought this book based on lots of excellent reviews (particularly those on Amazon.com), and though I think that it could be 5* for some, it did not help me with the same depth. I think that this book is most useful for those betrayals that are caused by friends, family and work colleagues. My betrayals are from a romantic partner (and it was not cheating).
The author puts the betrayers into 3 categories: rivals (those that will do something less than savoury to push you aside), admirers (those that think you're the bees' knees and want what you have - even on a subconscious level; once they get what you have or become enough like you, they will betray you as a way to show you that you are no longer needed) and users (those who downright use you to get what they want and feel little if any guilt or remorse). My partner is really none of these. He cares and feels terrible about his behaviour but has had other issues at play (guilt, insecurity, etc, etc) which makes him do what he does. He is neither trying to out do me, become me or use me heartlessly. So, I am left at a standstill in using the book to understand him or his behaviour better and whether or not I should forgive him enough to let him back into my life.
However, it has helped me understand myself better and how I let myself get into the situation in the first place (avoiding the signs and being too much of a giver) which has helped and for this I give it three stars.
Getting over the chessy title, this book has a lot to offer to anyone in any kind of relationship where they've been betrayed. And for those of us (like myself) who have experienced betrayal once too often, it is a great help in healing. I feel better armed to cope after reading this, and hopefully that means that in the future I won't be as quickly betrayed again.