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on 18 March 2013
For someone experiencing their toxic shame for the first time this book was not always easy reading: thoughts, feeling, beliefs I'd held all my life were there on the page; a state of being I'd thought normal was at last being seen for what it was: highly disfunctional, filled with pain and loneliness.
The first half of this book describes toxic shame; the second begins to outline a path to healing, though one's path will always be one's own and will, inevitably, continue beyond the final page of text. It took me 51 years to recognise my toxic shame; I'm guessing it'll take a while to get over it!
But I recommend this book very highly. Why four stars rather than five? I spent much of the second half thinking, "But what am I going to do about my parents? What do I say to them?" The book didn't seem to offer answers. But then, perhaps, I have to find my own.
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on 2 May 2016
An interesting book, that helped me address certain things. However also goes heavily into the religious aspects of shame that i wasn't sure was relevant to me. Also there is an undercurrent of parental blame that, whilst good to recognise, is important to move on from. As with any of these books, certain chapters are more personally relevant than others. But as a good stepping stone to address areas of shame, it has much to offer.
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on 28 January 2017
After having read tens of self help books I was surprised I could find a book so ground breaking. Makes all the odd and painful pieces of my life puzzle fall right into their places. Best book since Karen Horney.
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on 23 March 2017
Healing the Shame that Binds You. Is a tremendous book. I found it continually struck a cord as I read it. A really enlightening book.
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on 23 July 2017
A good book worth re reading. Arrived swiftly so I'm happy. 😊
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on 26 April 2016
The first half of this book gave me the chills - in a good way. Completely eye-opening. I've read a lot of psychoanalytic books and self-help journals in the past, but here was a condensed and finalised version of all that. It really got me thinking and reflecting on my life and added clarity where there was only vague fuzziness before. I even stopped dating for a while as it really shocked me into changing and considering my motives in life.
I was so excited I wanted to go out and preach it. (I didn't because that is not cool). Although I did then order a 2nd copy to give to a friend. (Not sure if that was well received or even read). I believe someone wise advised helping people who didn't ask for help.
I was then looking forward to reading Part Two - 'How to fix it'. Ah... mmm... it all got a bit too 12-step programme and 'higher power' for my liking.
That's not to say the suggestions aren't valid, and Bradshaw makes pains to point out that Higher Power can mean anything personal to you, but it jarred with me.
But wow! - the first half. I would go as far to say this should be made compulsory reading.
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on 24 December 2013
Useful practical activities included that readers can have a go at to heal their shame, as well as all the explanations. One of my favourite parts of the book was a section on how to deal with other people who may be trying to dump their shame onto you. A brilliant selection of techniques to recognise and deal with people like this are offered.

I did not mind the general religious references as I just saw them as the author writing honestly in his own style and I did not feel they were excessive - still felt the book contained things that would be of value to most people. Some other readers may differ in their reactions to any religious references.
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on 18 November 2010
This book shows us how many family and social and relationship problems have their roots in our childhood experiences. I found it amazing and it made so much sense. Great for anyone with personal problems, family problems, friend problems, work problems, society problems or even just to understand how others end up in bad situations. If I were Minister of education I would put this book on the High School social and Civil Studies Curriculum.
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on 29 March 2017
Saved my life.
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on 20 June 2014
I divide my life into two chapters: before and after I read this book.

I had always been a shame-bound person until I read 'Healing the Shame'. Bradshaw's book opened up a new way of thinking and kicked off a beautiful emotional journey.

"Healthy shame is the permission to be human. To be human is to be essentially limited. It is to be finite, needy and prone to mistakes... Through healthy shame we rejoin the human race; we accept our need for community and the essential limitations of our human reality. Scott Peck once defined emotional illness as avoiding relating at any cost, and mental health as accepting reality at any cost."

I will certainly re-visit this book again and again.

- I am conscious that I sometimes shame others as a way to counter my own shame. I make strong efforts to stop this now.
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