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Healing the Shame That Binds You Paperback – 28 Jan 1991

4.1 out of 5 stars 67 customer reviews

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Paperback, 28 Jan 1991
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--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Product details

  • Paperback: 254 pages
  • Publisher: Health Communications; 1 edition (28 Jan. 1991)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0932194869
  • ISBN-13: 978-0932194862
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 14.6 x 22.2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (67 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 310,927 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

John Bradshaw has been at the forefront of the self-help and recovery field for more than twenty years and is the New York Times bestselling author of books including Reclaiming Virtue and Bradshaw On: Homecoming. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.


Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By A Customer on 19 Jun. 2003
Format: Paperback
This is the most helpful book I have ever read.

I'm an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and abandonment. Although I had made a lot of progress through counselling, self-help and other reading over the years, it wasn't until I read this book that I came to understand a lot more about myself.

I've read other books that seemed to stop short of providing much in the way of useful help after identifying a problem. John Bradshaw covers all this, providing real solutions that, for me, are starting to change my life and repair damage that I hadn't realised was still there.
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For someone experiencing their toxic shame for the first time this book was not always easy reading: thoughts, feeling, beliefs I'd held all my life were there on the page; a state of being I'd thought normal was at last being seen for what it was: highly disfunctional, filled with pain and loneliness.
The first half of this book describes toxic shame; the second begins to outline a path to healing, though one's path will always be one's own and will, inevitably, continue beyond the final page of text. It took me 51 years to recognise my toxic shame; I'm guessing it'll take a while to get over it!
But I recommend this book very highly. Why four stars rather than five? I spent much of the second half thinking, "But what am I going to do about my parents? What do I say to them?" The book didn't seem to offer answers. But then, perhaps, I have to find my own.
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Format: Paperback
This book shows us how many family and social and relationship problems have their roots in our childhood experiences. I found it amazing and it made so much sense. Great for anyone with personal problems, family problems, friend problems, work problems, society problems or even just to understand how others end up in bad situations. If I were Minister of education I would put this book on the High School social and Civil Studies Curriculum.
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John Bradshaw has written a thorough, concise guide to victims who suffer from toxic shame, in order to help them identify the shame they are feeling and then to alleviate and eliminate that shame. An all-intrusive emotion, toxic shame can devastate a life, destroy marriages, and leave the suffering victim alone and confused. Bradshaw has drawn a road map for these victims to help themselves find the way out of the endless cycle of shame and guilt that surrounds their lives every single day.
Since he is also a victim of childhood abuse, Bradshaw has a keen insight into the haunting terrors of being ashamed of your family because of alcoholism, drug dependence, sexual abuse...he covers it all.
This book is a must-read for the adult who has been raised in a traumatic setting. Healing the Shame that Binds You is a life-line to victims, and can be the first step on the road to recovery from toxic shame and other psychological problems brought on by dysfunctional family situations.
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Format: Paperback
Many suffer from the damaging effects of Toxic Shame. A little-explored subject, it causes one to feel defective from the core of one's being. The roots of shame come from abuse and dysfunctionality in the family and early socialization in school. People then tend to measure their worth against external standards and feedback and when it is negative or lacking, can feel a devasting loss of self. Whether perpetrated on an overt or covert level, the damaging effects can last a lifetime, leading people into mental illness, addiction, and crippling disfunctionality.
Bradshaw gives a diagnostic and thereapeutic vocabulary to those who desperately need it. Some people are shamed by the same people over and over again (ie: spouses and family) and need the tools with which to cope. Based on the twelve-step paradigm, Bradshaw shows us how to recognize the signs of toxic shame and how to (with the help of a therapist and/or healing community) eventually overcome it.
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Format: Paperback
Before reading this book, I was unaware what a big influence shame has on all aspects of life - if we were consistently shamed in childhood, the effects can be devastating. John Bradshaw explains just why shame is such a powerful force and what we can do about it. If you were shamed, you probably think you are alone. Read this book and discover that you are not.
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Format: Paperback
After years in AA and Al-anon and starting ACA now, I am at last in a place to face the issues covered in this wonderful book. It need not take that long hanging around the 12 steps to reap the benefits herein, but that is how long it has taken me to be ready. This publication pulls no punches and tells the truth of the matter with integrity, but also with a consumate sensitivity and kindness. Perhaps best of all, this is one of the few recovery books that outlines positive exercises, for example utliising NLP techniques, to work on - perfect for the compulsive "doer" like me. If you had any kind of dysfunctional childhood (didn't we all?) get a copy of this book rushed to you now!
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The first half of this book gave me the chills - in a good way. Completely eye-opening. I've read a lot of psychoanalytic books and self-help journals in the past, but here was a condensed and finalised version of all that. It really got me thinking and reflecting on my life and added clarity where there was only vague fuzziness before. I even stopped dating for a while as it really shocked me into changing and considering my motives in life.
I was so excited I wanted to go out and preach it. (I didn't because that is not cool). Although I did then order a 2nd copy to give to a friend. (Not sure if that was well received or even read). I believe someone wise advised helping people who didn't ask for help.
I was then looking forward to reading Part Two - 'How to fix it'. Ah... mmm... it all got a bit too 12-step programme and 'higher power' for my liking.
That's not to say the suggestions aren't valid, and Bradshaw makes pains to point out that Higher Power can mean anything personal to you, but it jarred with me.
But wow! - the first half. I would go as far to say this should be made compulsory reading.
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