Healing the Shame That Binds You Paperback – 28 Jan 1991
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About the Author
John Bradshaw has been at the forefront of the self-help and recovery field for more than twenty years and is the New York Times bestselling author of books including Reclaiming Virtue and Bradshaw On: Homecoming. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Top Customer Reviews
I'm an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and abandonment. Although I had made a lot of progress through counselling, self-help and other reading over the years, it wasn't until I read this book that I came to understand a lot more about myself.
I've read other books that seemed to stop short of providing much in the way of useful help after identifying a problem. John Bradshaw covers all this, providing real solutions that, for me, are starting to change my life and repair damage that I hadn't realised was still there.
The first half of this book describes toxic shame; the second begins to outline a path to healing, though one's path will always be one's own and will, inevitably, continue beyond the final page of text. It took me 51 years to recognise my toxic shame; I'm guessing it'll take a while to get over it!
But I recommend this book very highly. Why four stars rather than five? I spent much of the second half thinking, "But what am I going to do about my parents? What do I say to them?" The book didn't seem to offer answers. But then, perhaps, I have to find my own.
Since he is also a victim of childhood abuse, Bradshaw has a keen insight into the haunting terrors of being ashamed of your family because of alcoholism, drug dependence, sexual abuse...he covers it all.
This book is a must-read for the adult who has been raised in a traumatic setting. Healing the Shame that Binds You is a life-line to victims, and can be the first step on the road to recovery from toxic shame and other psychological problems brought on by dysfunctional family situations.
Bradshaw gives a diagnostic and thereapeutic vocabulary to those who desperately need it. Some people are shamed by the same people over and over again (ie: spouses and family) and need the tools with which to cope. Based on the twelve-step paradigm, Bradshaw shows us how to recognize the signs of toxic shame and how to (with the help of a therapist and/or healing community) eventually overcome it.
I was so excited I wanted to go out and preach it. (I didn't because that is not cool). Although I did then order a 2nd copy to give to a friend. (Not sure if that was well received or even read). I believe someone wise advised helping people who didn't ask for help.
I was then looking forward to reading Part Two - 'How to fix it'. Ah... mmm... it all got a bit too 12-step programme and 'higher power' for my liking.
That's not to say the suggestions aren't valid, and Bradshaw makes pains to point out that Higher Power can mean anything personal to you, but it jarred with me.
But wow! - the first half. I would go as far to say this should be made compulsory reading.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
An interesting book, that helped me address certain things. However also goes heavily into the religious aspects of shame that i wasn't sure was relevant to me. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Mr. S. P. Drake
This book is excellent, from the very first page i felt for the first time in my life someone understood how i felt. Read morePublished 6 months ago by ME
Arrived promptly well packaged. Very readable and a insightful book. Gets you really thinking and very accessible. You can read from start to end or dip into a particular topic. Read morePublished 9 months ago by Anne Anderson
Save yourself some time and skip books like these and go straight to David Hawkins "letting go"Published 13 months ago by Rebecca