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Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong: The perfect laugh-out-loud comedy by [Kirkham, Gina]
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Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong: The perfect laugh-out-loud comedy Kindle Edition

4.9 out of 5 stars 13 customer reviews

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Length: 320 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

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Review

Will have you laughing out loud and is hugely entertaining. This is a book that oozes charisma and character, one you will not be able to put down. --Nikki's Books4U

Hilarious...real life and so touching, a fabulous read! --Christina Green

About the Author

Gina was born during the not-so-swinging 50's to a mum who frequently abandoned her in a pram outside Woolworths and a dad who, after two pints of beer, could play a mean Boogie Woogie on the piano in the front room of their 3-bed semi on the Wirral. Being the less adventurous of three children, she remains there to this day - apart from a long weekend in Bognor Regis in 1982. Her teenage years were filled with angst, a CSE in Arithmetic, pimples, PLJ juice, Barry White and rather large knickers until she suddenly and mysteriously slimmed down in her twenties. Marriage and motherhood ensued, quickly followed by divorce in her early thirties and a desperate need for a career and some form of financial support for herself and her daughter. Trundling a bicycle along a leafy path one wintry day, a lifelong passion to be a police officer gave her simultaneously an epiphany and fond memories of her favourite author Enid Blyton and moments of solving mysteries. And thus began an enjoyable and fulfilling career with Merseyside Police. On reaching an age most women lie about, she quickly adapted to retirement by utilising her policing skills to chase after two granddaughters, two dogs and one previously used, but still in excellent condition, husband. Having said goodbye to what had been a huge part of her life, she suddenly had another wonderful epiphany. This time it was to put pen to paper to write a book based on her experiences as a police officer. Lying in bed one night staring at the ceiling and contemplating life as she knew it, Gina's alter-ego, Mavis Upton was born, ready to star in a humorous and sometimes poignant look at the life, loves and career of an everyday girl who followed a dream and embarked upon a search for the missing piece of her childhood.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 2020 KB
  • Print Length: 320 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Urbane Publications (18 May 2017)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B06XZCV123
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars 13 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #14,801 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A very funny book, it keeps you wanting more. I'm not much of a reader but this kept my nose well and truly buried in the book. Read it in three days which is a record for me. The antics of Mave are brilliantly described. I can't wait for the follow up book. Well done Gina Kirkham.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read this over two days unable to put it down. It is well written. Only thing is sometime you are left wanting to know more. Why did Mavis get to be officer of the year? Hopefully there will be a sequel.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read this book over two days and boy did I giggle and laugh out loud. It reminded me of the good,bad and hilarious times I had when in the service. Excellent Gina can't wait for the next one maybe?
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Hilarious, touching and so well written. Had me laughing out loud on a packed train.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book made me laugh and cry. It's a great read. I couldn't put it down. Well worth 5 stars.
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Format: Kindle Edition
Constable 1261 Mavis Upton takes us back through her Police career to share hilarious highlights from her career, from starting as a trainee, to her probation, through to being a Police officer. Mavis may be a fictional character but some of the stories are based on true life events.
The stories will have you laughing out loud and are hugely entertaining. There are lots of mishaps and calamities and it does go to show there is nothing as Queer as Folk! This is a book that oozes charisma and character.
There are many laughs but the more serious side of policing are touched upon too, and Mavis personal loss in her private life that will touch your heart, and have you reaching for the tissues. This is one of those books you will not be able to put down a very interesting, and enjoyable read.
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Format: Paperback
Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong is the debut novel from Gina Kirkham. This is a witty, intelligent and incredibly funny book that had me laughing out loud. But don't be fooled by the fabulous cover (which I love) as this novel has so much depth, it's not just a series of funny stories (which are in fact, hilarious). The stories that are told are mixed with real life emotions, beautifully observed reality and a protagonist who you just can't help but love and admire. While reading, I was constantly drawing comparisons to the scouse sitcom, Bread, and to Only Fools and Horses, so you get the idea of how much I loved this book. It's that good.

So, this is Mavis Upton's story, a police officer, a mother, a daughter and a person in her own right, who tells us the personal story of her life. Her story begins from when she first had the idea forming in her mind about joining the police back in 1988, right up to the present day of 2008. I was with Mavis every step of the way and felt like I really knew her, 'nellies' and all! The author writes so beautifully, and makes the art of storytelling seem completely effortless. I was gently propelled from one hilarious story to the next, revelling in all of the antics that she got up to. The real joy for me, was watching her transform from a rather naïve woman who had an idealistic view of the world, and who would only drive at a maximum of 40 mph, into the perceptive, 'chasing bad guys' police officer that she finally became.

Along the way we meet some wonderful colourful characters, and that's not just the local criminals! We meet her young daughter, Ella, who seems mature beyond her years and who shares her mother's wit and sense of humour.
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