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Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong: The perfect laugh-out-loud comedy by [Kirkham, Gina]
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Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong: The perfect laugh-out-loud comedy Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars 71 customer reviews

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Length: 320 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

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Review

Will have you laughing out loud and is hugely entertaining. This is a book that oozes charisma and character, one you will not be able to put down. --Nikki's Books4U

Hilarious...real life and so touching, a fabulous read! --Christina Green

About the Author

Gina was born during the not-so-swinging 50's to a mum who frequently abandoned her in a pram outside Woolworths and a dad who, after two pints of beer, could play a mean Boogie Woogie on the piano in the front room of their 3-bed semi on the Wirral. Being the less adventurous of three children, she remains there to this day - apart from a long weekend in Bognor Regis in 1982. Her teenage years were filled with angst, a CSE in Arithmetic, pimples, PLJ juice, Barry White and rather large knickers until she suddenly and mysteriously slimmed down in her twenties. Marriage and motherhood ensued, quickly followed by divorce in her early thirties and a desperate need for a career and some form of financial support for herself and her daughter. Trundling a bicycle along a leafy path one wintry day, a lifelong passion to be a police officer gave her simultaneously an epiphany and fond memories of her favourite author Enid Blyton and moments of solving mysteries. And thus began an enjoyable and fulfilling career with Merseyside Police. On reaching an age most women lie about, she quickly adapted to retirement by utilising her policing skills to chase after two granddaughters, two dogs and one previously used, but still in excellent condition, husband. Having said goodbye to what had been a huge part of her life, she suddenly had another wonderful epiphany. This time it was to put pen to paper to write a book based on her experiences as a police officer. Lying in bed one night staring at the ceiling and contemplating life as she knew it, Gina's alter-ego, Mavis Upton was born, ready to star in a humorous and sometimes poignant look at the life, loves and career of an everyday girl who followed a dream and embarked upon a search for the missing piece of her childhood.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 2021 KB
  • Print Length: 320 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Urbane Publications (18 May 2017)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B06XZCV123
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 71 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #7,407 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I greatly enjoyed this novel, from its ingenious and riveting opening scene, to the inspired reveal of the final chapter. It is funny, tender, and wise. Mavis Upton is a warmhearted, sometimes self-deprecating, and wholly believable central character. In particular, I enjoyed her relationships with her dear mum, and with her daughter, Ella.

We see Mavis make a decision to change her comfortable yet predictable life by applying to become a police officer. Throughout basic training, hilarious situations ensue, deftly described by the author. The jobs Mavis goes on, first as a rookie, then as a more seasoned officer are, by turn, bizarre, poignant, and in one case, sad and shocking.

We meet her motley crew of fellow officers, practical jokers and biscuit dunkers all, each drawn most skilfully, so that you immediately sense who they are – you can see them. This is also true of those arrested or incidentally caught up in a police officer’s daily (or nightly) round. All human life is here.

My favourite passages involve Mavis’s interaction with her mum, and the telling details around her mother’s habits and values, the stability and warmth of her home, and her ways of seeing the world. Not to give anything away, there is a part fairly late in the novel that I found very moving, and I’d be surprised if it didn’t touch other readers similarly. Gina Kirkham is clearly a gifted writer and storyteller, unquestionably as a humorist, but she also delves deep into our common hopes and fears, and shows an admirable restraint when describing love and loss, which makes it all the more affecting and memorable.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Well where do I start? I'd waited so long for this book as I had it on pre order from 2016!! It was so worth the wait...I winced, laughed, cried, giggled like an idiot, then cried some more. Hard to believe that this is a debut novel, brilliantly written it takes one on a rollercoaster of emotions, but in a nutshell it's a hilariously funny adventure, that would make a wonderful movie. Best of all, Mavis could live on into episode 2!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Oh how I laughed and then laughed some more. From beginning to end Gina Kirkham had me howling, with not just laughter but tears as well. Part of the book is serious, but superbly balanced with lots of comical moments that could only happen to Mavis, the main character who is Gina's alter-ego. The one-liners from a few characters are just exquisite and so funny.

I did cry real sad tears and laughter tears as well, but the ending had me speechless. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! It floored me and really put the top hat on an already excellent book. When is Gina's 2nd book due out? I can't wait!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Read this in one sitting. Laugh out loud in lots of places. A bit of pathos thrown in too. I can see Mavis bumbling along living her life and (sadly) I can see facets of me in her life. I intend to re read this as I like humorous books and heaven knows this is definitely that .Sit -com in the making ? Anyone? .I think my son will like this (cop) .So .....if you want a really good read with plenty of laughs this is for you.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A very funny book, it keeps you wanting more. I'm not much of a reader but this kept my nose well and truly buried in the book. Read it in three days which is a record for me. The antics of Mave are brilliantly described. I can't wait for the follow up book. Well done Gina Kirkham.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Well, I left Spain whiter than I went because I couldn't put this book down!

I thoroughly enjoyed the madcap antics of the dippy Mavis Upton, the bumbling Petey, and the rest of the Section; it was like a Carry On film!

And whilst this was funny and light hearted, the family side of Mavis' life was sentimental and touching.

I loved the witty and simplistic writing style of Gina, and the fact that the chapters are only a few pages long meant I could dip in and out.

I couldn't recommend this book highly enough. You won't be disappointed.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
A very funny book that is more than just a collection of amusing anecdotes. It is underpinned by a lot of substance and a great deal of the author's style, bringing the characters to life. Laughter as well as tears; highly recommended!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Remember stories told very humorously in this book. The ups and down's of life in and out of blue. Great read. Lots of chuckle material. Looking forward to number 2
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