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Niels Saunders

Grand Theft Octo Kindle Edition

by Niels Saunders (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

25 ratings

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A dark satire about the world's most unusual businessman

When Jonathan Doe is fired from his office job for stealing too much stationery, he becomes an entrepreneur of businesses the world has never seen. Professional plant-waterer, freelance taxidermist—he’ll try anything.

After a disastrous start, he moves onto professional octopus teasing. Will he fail again or make his fortune? Is he really a professional or just a con artist? Desperate to succeed, his plans become more outlandish, from stealing theme park mascots at gunpoint to fighting deranged restaurant tycoons.

As the enemies he makes seek revenge, both his life and business are threatened, until his world spirals into mayhem and violence. Set in the fictional city of Vestibue, England, Grand Theft Octo is a wild and hilarious ride that strikes at the heart of aspirational culture.

Print length

193 pages
Language

English
Publication date

5 May 2017
File size

1924 KB
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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B071V8XRQC
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Imperial Press (5 May 2017)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 1924 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 193 pages

Best Sellers Rank: 1,326,386 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- 2,256 in Humourous Dark Comedy
- 3,875 in Satire Fiction (Kindle Store)
- 34,720 in Humour

Customer reviews:
25 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		53%
4 star		23%
3 star		11%
2 star		6%
1 star		7%

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Top reviews from United Kingdom

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Leigh

Like being hit with a hammer wrapped in a soft, fluffy blanket.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 18 May 2017

Verified Purchase

What starts of as a fun trip to crazy town takes a dark turn into horrified fascination. Jonathan Doe is a con-man selling whatever it is you're willing to buy, be that an assurance your plants will be fine while you're away or that your octopus is in dire need of teasing. He's brimming with self-assurance, fun, insane and somehow manages to bend the world to his will while at the same time failing hugely in whatever he's doing.
The failing part is largely due to Caputo, the hotdog in the middle. Just as in what happens to the story, Caputo will take all your fun and crazy and twist it into something unpleasant and violent.
Jonathan Doe is charming and funny, at first appearing superficial but as he reels from one situation to another it becomes clear there's more to him than meets the eye, while at the same time he continues to be... well, superficial.

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

Dan C.

Author teases out another cracker.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 22 June 2017

Verified Purchase

Like an idiot, I've left it until well after finishing Grand Theft Octo to submit my review. I felt compelled to write one though, as even if some of the details are now a bit hazy, this book is thoroughly deserving of praise. The humour here, and of Mr. Saunders' debut novel, is what I get a big kick out of. It's sharp, dark and comes at you in enjoyably healthy portions.
The gist (as I remember!) is thus: Jonathan Doe is a philanthropic fella who takes on or invents unusual jobs. He manages to blag and sell his new found/self created skills to people!e who believe they can benefit from his service, such as the insane and wonderful idea of octopus teasing. This business seems to have legs (hee hee) only the idea and business is ruthlessly stolen by the verbally brilliant crap storm Lewis Caputo; a man who really puts the cock in cock-sure. He's a little like Adam Braithwaite (from the author's debut novel Mervyn vs Dennis) only willing to do everything in his seemingly limitless power to take what he wants, truly by any means necessary. There are other great characters ,as you come to expect from this author's books and a fascinating twist revealed right at the end. I may be doing this book a disservice by writing a review so long after reading it - but I've been busy ok! But it deserves to be championed and I eagerly await the next one, as relentless humour, like we get from Niels' first two novels, is scarce in books from any era. So, bravo I say to this fine piece of work , and once again I salute this fine author.

2 people found this helpful

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Johnzxr

Funny and surreal. A book that draws you into places you couldn't know exist

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 June 2017

Verified Purchase

You've probably never heard of octopus teasing as a career choice and yet this wholly ludicrous profession is brought to life by Saunders in this highly funny book. With his genuinely unique ability to bring the ridiculous to life The author tells the story of an episode of Mr. Doe's hapless life and a circle of bizarre friends and the larger than life character of Caputo, the hotdog in the centre. The story ranges widely from the absurd (picture a grown man riding a pink child's bike with an octopus on his shoulder- of course!) to some quite dark places, drawing you along effortlessly through the unpredictable twists and turns.

Unusual, funny and a great read.

2 people found this helpful

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PJ Lea Bookish

📚📚📚📘

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 March 2018

Verified Purchase

The first half of the book was a bit daft and I started to wonder where the story was going, but I'm glad I didn't give up as the second half totally made up for it, becoming very strong and emotional.

Helpful

lmac

Thoroughly good read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 June 2017

Verified Purchase

Darkly twisted and comic. It was a good quick read, and a bargain for free. Recommended it already to a few friends.

One person found this helpful

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Madeleine

One Star

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 December 2017

Verified Purchase

Free

Helpful

Much More Than Just A Silly Lark, This Is A Beautifully Constructed Treat

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 6 September 2017

Blurbs and promotions for this book suggest that it will be a bit of a lark, as we follow a con man on his odd and outlandish journey to shake down marks in the guise of a professional octopus teaser. You think to yourself that this could be fun, with maybe a charming rascal of a grifter hero and some sly humor at the expense of entrepreneurs, the idle moneyed class, and the like. Probably there will be plenty of colorful characters. Well, all of the above applies, but it's only a tease and does not at all do justice to how fine and compelling this book is.

The book goes through a number of transformations as it develops. We start with Jonathan Doe being fired for pocketing office supplies. We follow his short history as a freelance taxidermist. In these first few chapters we are treated to a number of underplayed and deadpan funny scenes that suggest that this will be a dry and witty bit of satire, perhaps at Jonathan's expense. But then the book opens up a bit. A nasty and threatening criminal figure with exaggerated energy, flair, and instability arrives on the scene, and the book feels like it's going to go somewhere darker. But then we switch to a mad kidnapping of an octopus mascot from a play park and to Jonathan's first octopus teasing, and matters lighten up and get fairly silly again, even if some of the humor has taken on a darker shade.

But wait. That early threat of imminent unbalanced violence was real. The book goes into some very dark places, and it begins to take on the feel of those weird/bizarro books that balance manic humor with explicit violence. There is more than a hint of works like "Clockwork Orange", with humor, the mundane, psychotic nastiness, and the inexplicable all mixed together in an unnerving but fascinating and compelling fashion.

And that's just the top level. WARNING. GENERAL OVERALL VAGUE SPOILER. The ending will come as more or less of a surprise depending on how carefully you read the book. Suffice to say that as soon as I finished the book I turned back to the beginning in order to browse through it again in order to tease out the second, entirely different, (and in some ways better), book that was hidden between the lines.

So, don't dismiss this as a bit of caper/con-man silliness. This is a rewarding, entertaining, keen, wise, and exceptionally well crafted novella. A wonderful find.

(Please note that I received a free ecopy of this book without a review requirement, or any influence regarding review content should I choose to post a review. Apart from that I have no connection at all to either the author or the publisher of this book.)

4 people found this helpful

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