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The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Paperback – 1 Jun 1999
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" A how-to book that reads like a thriller...provocative...empowering."
--"The Boston Globe"
" De Becker has a lot to say about crime and the fear of crime, and he says it persuasively...his blend of empathy, reassurance and common sense wows readers."
" Important and provocative."
--Linda A. Fairstein, sex crimes prosecutor and author
" Chilling and fascinating."
--Jeffrey Toobin, author of The Run of His Life: The People v. O.J. Simpson
"A how-to book that reads like a thriller...provocative...empowering."--The Boston Globe
From the Inside Flap
True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?
The baby-sitter you've just hired makes you uneasy--what should you do?
You sense you are being followed --do you confront the stranger...or run?
A fired employee says "You'll be sorry"--should you take him seriously?
A person in the elevator you are about to enter just doesn't look right--do you wait for the next car?
A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts.
In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger--before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
Top customer reviews
However, the book is obviously written by an American targeting U S readers. Of course most of the info is valid this side of the Atlantic but you may have to grit your teeth to get past the worst of the U S style.
There are a few good pointers, though I have read them elsewhere, and I agree with another reviewer that the same points are made over and over again as if reader too dim to get it, plus too many stories some of them felt like filler. Really it could be one-third of its size and be better for it.
1. Trust your intuition. Always do what you feel is best in any situation. Don't follow formulas of others' advice. Every situation is different.
2. Be very wary if a total stranger wants to help you.
3. Do not be afraid of appearing "not nice". Be clear if you have no interest in someone and cut any involvement asap e.g. early in dating or something else.
4. Restraining orders are often not a good option as they just enrage a stalker or persecutor. It is better to get away and cut contact. There are different ways to do this.
5. Be careful how you "get away" from domestic violence. Many victims suffer the most as they are escaping/leaving, or shortly afterwards.
6. The risks of dating are the risks of rejection, boredom, disappointment - and the risk of letting some troubled, scary man into your life; be very aware esp strangers as in internet dating.
7. A chapter on employer-employee relationships which was the only thing fairly new to me.
The book is OK, but a lot of it I read elsewhere, sometimes better. I particularly recommend for women re. avoiding or escaping violent men "Stop Signs" by Lynn Fairweather, which is concise and brilliant; it should be required reading.
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