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Games you should not own

T. M. Skerritt
 
Need for Speed: Most Wanted (PC DVD)
Need for Speed: Most Wanted (PC DVD)
"Since fast and furious came out all racing games seem to be about is who has the biggest spoiler, or the most sickening paintwork. This game is no exception. About as sporty as a golf cart."
F.E.A.R. (PC CD)
F.E.A.R. (PC CD)
"looks great, plays like quake 2. oh and mke sure you buy the required upgrade (ie a 400 quid graphics card) unless you want to be playing a beautifully lit slide show"
50 Cent: Bulletproof (PS2)
50 Cent: Bulletproof (PS2)
"a game where you play 50 cent, i wonder if you get to sell drugs to children and beat up old ladies in it? A game where you get to hunt 50 cent down with a shotgun, now that might be worth buying!"
Star Wars Battlefront II (Xbox)
Star Wars Battlefront II (Xbox)
"'wow this looks great'....'wow theres alot going on'...'wow, what the hell IS going on?' ...'wow these controls are terrible'.. 'wow, the bots are thicker than both Richard, AND Judy'...'wow, the bin'"
Forza MotorSport (Xbox)
Forza MotorSport (Xbox)
"'AMAZING! its gran tourismo for the xbox!' oh wait, thats right I played gran toursmo for a whole year in 1998.. can I be bothered to win the same cars again? ...erm.. no.. back you go."
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Xbox)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Xbox)
"let me guess.. is it a generic, semi-isometric platformer? built by proxy to sate the appitite of parents too lazy to find a game with true originality? Quite similar to the books then.."
FIFA 06 (PS2)
FIFA 06 (PS2)
"er.. yeah we've added loads of new stuff.. like.. er.. hang on. The players that have moved club.. ha! - Start a new game of fifa 05, use the trasfer option, and hey presto! fifa 06."
The Movies (PC DVD)
The Movies (PC DVD)
"Somebody, please tell Peter Molyneux that games are supposed to be fun, not just experiments for him to see what he can and cant do. Bring back populous and all will be forgiven."
The Sims 2 (PC DVD)
The Sims 2 (PC DVD)
"The only fun you can have with the sims is by boarding your character up inside his house until he becomes so hungry that he starts to eat his own legs. OH OH OH!!!! my sim needs to go to the toilet!"
Barbie Horse Adventure : Wild Horse Rescue (PS2)
Barbie Horse Adventure : Wild Horse Rescue (PS2)
"what the hell is this?!? some sort of joke? when you get fed up of playing with your 'real' plastic woman, you can start playing with your pretend plastic woman."