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Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships Paperback – 7 Jan 2010

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Product details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin; 1st Thus edition (7 Jan. 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0141040270
  • ISBN-13: 978-0141040271
  • Product Dimensions: 19.3 x 12.7 x 1.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (300 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 10,309 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Review

A brilliant, amusing, and clear catalogue of the psychological theatricals that human beings play over and over again. (Kurt Vonnegut)

From the Inside Flap

"We think we're relating to other people-but actually we're all playing games.
Forty years ago, "Games People Play revolutionized our understanding of what "really goes on during our most basic social interactions. More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne's classic is as astonishing-and revealing-as it was on the day it was first published. This anniversary edition features a new introduction by Dr. James R. Allen, president of the International Transactional Analysis Association, and Kurt Vonnegut's brilliant "Life magazine review from 1965.
We play games all the time-sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like "Martini" (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like "If It Weren't For You" and "Uproar," to flirtation favorites like "The Stocking Game" and "Let's You and Him Fight," Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives.
Explosive when it first appeared, "Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It's as powerful and eye-opening as ever. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is a gem. While it lacks a coherent structure, and leaves the reader sometimes puzzled by gaps in the exposition, overall it is original, insightful and amusing. Dr Berne's 'game' theory of human relationships was later refined by him, but this slim book outlines his main argument (the principles of Transactional Analysis) and is the first of the books that gained him public acclaim.

Dr Berne's theory is based on the idea that 'Games' provide a means to an end. They structure our time, and enable us to 'belong' to social groups: an important factor in survival. However, they are limiting, in the sense that they are almost always negative; learned from our parents, or based on narrow influences. The games have names such as: 'See What You Made Me Do' ; 'Ain't It Awful'; and 'I'm Only Trying To Help You'. It is easy to recognise games in action, having read the book. Ultimately, the individual has the choice to continue to play games, or to stop playing games (not easy) and to strive for autonomy.

It is hard to believe this book was written in 1964 - it feels so modern. 'Timeless' is probably the best way to describe it. Are you 'Waiting For Rigor Mortis To Set In', or (essentially the same) spending your days playing 'Waiting For Santa Claus' ?

Read this book, and see how many games you and yours play in your daily life - and why! This book is a must for anyone interested in psychotherapy, or in books which aim to help the individual live a more rewarding life.
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By A Customer on 19 Dec. 2002
Format: Paperback
Years ago I chose not to pursue an education in psychology, but I retain a strong interest, if only to make sense of a world where motivations are often misguided and true intent is hard to perceive.
'Games People Play' explains and analyses, with pertinent real-life examples, the continual stuggle between our inner child, parent and adult to dominate a social situation, colloquially termed as 'games'. It explains that the outcome of these games are a fundamental human requirement, and by understanding the way these games are played we learn to understand the motivations of ourselves and our peers.
The first time I read this book, I instantly recognised real life occasions where the information contained was relevant and useful. If you have only a passing interest in psychology, you will still occassionally sit upright while reading and say to yourself - 'So this is why people act like that'.
Some of the passages are eminently quotable - "Everyone carries a little boy or girl around inside of him", and at the very least by remembering some of these key phrases, you will begin to understand the desires and reactions of others.
This is no pop-psychology rubbish - it is clinical psychology explained at a fundamental level, and crafted to be accessible and useful for everyone. The book is rarely dry and monotonous, and I was pleased to find some extremely humorous passages.
I challenge anyone to read this book and not find a revelation or two inside.
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By A Customer on 16 July 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I had heard of Transactional Analysis as part of a self-development training course at work, where TA was used to explain how conflicts in the workplace occur and what can be done to prevent them.
With some serious relationship problems outside the workplace, I bought Games People Play with the hope it could help to explain some of the things that have been going wrong. I wasn't disappointed, and quite apart from help me do some self-analysis, it has allowed me to see just how many "games" are played by others.
As well as being of great personal benefit, I found descriptions of some of the games (such as Alcoholic and Courtroom) very interesting. Alcoholic, in particlar, is given several pages, as one of the most complicated and destructive games that people play - and even goes some way to explaining how and why AA are effective in helping people.
If the book has a down side, it's perhaps only that it doesn't work as a self-help title without some serious thinking, honesty and soul-searching by the reader. However, it is really not meant as a self-help title and it would be wrong to judge it as one.
On the whole, though, a very interesting study of human behaviour and a good set of "worked examples" for anyone trying to understand Transactional Analysis.
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Format: Paperback
Its difficult to know whether it is the subject or the writer that makes this book such a facinating and enlightening read.
Berne clearly explains what games are and goes through clear examples of some of the more popular ones that people may play.
After I read it I immediatatly realised several "games" that people had been playing with me and that I had been playing with them. This is pretty easy to do after you actually think about things and is also very satisfying.
If I were to level a slight criticism it would be that I had to use the dictionairy every third page as he does tend to use alot of "big" words and I had to read it twice or three times to take it all in.
Well worth a read, it will change the way you think!
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Format: Paperback
There's a refreshingly distinct lack of diplomacy in this book. Primarily reference material, it's straight to the point, with no apologies or gentle persuasion for the faint at heart. Paradoxically, I suspect that the very people who need this book the most will find it the least attractive, since it brutally exposes the ulterior and selfish superficiality of Human nature. Even though Games People Play is written for the psycotherapist, it is still compelling reading for the layman, who will find many concepts in the book analogous to his own behaviour. So don't be put off by its clinical style - Games People Play is a strong foundation on which to build a program of personal growth, using techinques and concepts that anyone can understand.
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