The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (Relationships) Paperback – 31 Dec 1995
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The main idea behind this book is that just as people have unique personality preferences, we all have unique preferences for what we find satisfying and motivating when it comes to love. Your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. The problem is most people love how they want to be loved, and that doesn't tend to align with how their partner wants to be loved. So, you have to learn to speak your partner's love language. The author also believes that focusing intently on speaking the love languages will rekindle relationships where people don't even seem to like each other anymore. --By Eleanor on December 23, 2010
How's your relationship with your mate? Your children? Your parents? Your siblings? It may be a matter of the state of the "love tank". Author Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate believes everyone has a love tank, and that tank is filled by different love languages. These five languages are Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Often, we tend to give love in the languages we are most fluent in, which usually ends up being the languages that fill up our love tank. This would be why a husband who does yard work, dishes, car maintenance, etc. (Acts of Service) is floored when his wife says "You never show me you love me. You never cuddle with me, or caress my hair, or make the first move for sex." (Physical Touch). Or, "Why don't you spend time with me? Why do you work so much?" (Quality Time). And, "Why don't you buy me flowers? Why don't you ever get me cards or balloons...just because?" (Gifts) Or "You never tell me what I mean to you. Why don't you ever share with me what I mean to you, or what my good qualities are?" (Words of Affirmation) But, if her language is primarily Acts of Service, she'll feel so loved and honored because her husband does so many things for her, and thus feels "full" in her love tank. This may not sound like a big deal, but considering the divorce rate is 50% (as one relationship instance), and so many seem to be unhappy with their primary relationships, the concept of love languages may very well be a signficant factor in understanding self and others, and in relationship growth. --By Janet Boyer HALL OF FAMEVINE VOICE on October 7, 2003
This book is absolutely incredible. Having serious marital problems, I was desperate for any kind of help. I was about to turn to counseling when I heard about this book. I decided to buy it so that my husband and I could read it together. Not expecting too much, one lazy morning I suggested to my husband that we lay in bed and begin reading this book out loud to eachother. We read 120 pages that morning! We could not put it down! Both of us shed a lot of tears that morning, this book really hit home. That morning when we woke up, everything seemed hopeless for us. After reading this book, we had hope that our problems can be resolved. Our attitude toward eachother has greatly changed since we read this book. Basically this book explains that people feel loved in different ways. For example, my love language is "quality time" and my husband's love language is "personal touch." Without quality time with my husband, I feel unloved... my husband feels unloved when we have a lack of physical contact. Our love languages are so different... before reading this book, I just thought that my husband wanted more sex for selfish reasons. When in reality, personal contact is what he needs to feel loved. Before reading this book, my husband hated when I nagged about spending time together.. but now he realizes that spending time with me is the best way to tell me that he loves me. --By A Customer on January 12, 2004 --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From the Back Cover
THIS BOOK HAS TRANSFORMED MILLIONS OF MARRIAGES . . . ONE LANGUAGE AT A TIME.
With more than 8 MILLION copies sold, "The 5 Love Languages"(r) continues to strengthen relationships worldwide. Now this #1 "New York Times" bestseller has been adapted specifically for military couples. Dr. Gary Chapman and former military wife Jocelyn Green help military couples confidently grow closer through the unique challenges they face including deployment, reintegration, combat trauma, and more.
Unique features include:
Relevant stories of military couples from every branch of service
Tips on how to express love when apart
Updated FAQs section including questions specific to military families
New chapter on learning to speak the love languages through some of the most challenging times of a military marriage
" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.See all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
Love is a choice, not an emotion. Gary Chapman explains that after the "falling in love" stage of a relationship, which can last up to two years, we settle back in to reality. The rose colored glasses are removed and we begin to see our spouse for the person they really are, warts and all.
When the sparks begin to fizzle, Hollywood tells us that it is time to move on to another relationship. Chapman, on the other hand, reveals that we now have the opportunity to solidify and deepen the relationship through learning how to effectively communicate our love for our spouse.
He introduces us to the five love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Each of us express our love using these different languages and their dialects. If our language is different from that of our spouse, our expressions of love may not be understood and appreciated.
This book helps us identify and use the love languages that are meaningful to ourselves and our spouse. Chapman uses real-life examples to illustrate each language, with a dash of biblical passages to support his material.
The love languages are simple, and they work -- not only between husband and wife, but with children as well. My wife and I are polar opposites in love languages. By learning to express our love in ways that are more meaningful to each other, our honeymoon is thirteen years strong.
Get this book, read it, share it, apply it, and your "love tanks" will never be empty again.
Larry Hehn, Author of Get the Prize: Nine Keys for a Life of Victory
In "The Five Love Languages: Five Love Languages," Chapman isn't saying love only happens the way he says. Instead, he is giving a framework to love one another better. This way, we (especially we men), aren't shooting in the dark. Often, we want to love better than we do, and work hard, but miss the mark because we are, in essence, speaking another language.
Chapman tells us that we often love the way we'd like to be loved, and that so does our spouse love us the way they'd like to be love. This can help us discover who we are, and more importantly, how we can love.
Some romantic relationship books take the angle that men are different than women -- and that's true, but rather this a book about communications styles. In fact, he'll assert that men and women might prefer any of the five 'languages'.
The success of this book isn't in learning the styles, but in the active use of them in our relationships. It is easy to read, but with deep consequences.
I fully recommend "The Five Love Languages: Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
In this book, the author shows that love is not a feeling, but it is a decision. The decision that everyone needs to make to speak the love language of the person we love. That love language could be words of affection and encouragement, doing household chores, touching, giving gifts or spending quality time together.
While the book is great and very helpful, it may not appeal to non-Christians because the author insists by drawing examples from the Bible and Jesus' own life. While this is okay, and I am not anti-religion, I do believe the biblical references are unnecessary and may turn off secular readers. This is a pity as the book's main theory that we speak five separate love languages is very plausible and should be given respect.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I love this book. Simple things which we fail to acknowledge can be resolved. Has made my relationship with my ex so amicable... Read morePublished 1 day ago by Ms. V. M. Christopher
Definitely an eye opener for the romantically driven.In it's simplistic format the book as an easy read and am confident I can come back to it for reference in future.Published 18 days ago by Tonderai Chida
I haven't completely finished reading this book, however I can honestly say that through reading it and taking steps that are in the book, learning my love language and my... Read morePublished 22 days ago by Mrs A Bradley
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