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First of the Last Chances Paperback – 28 Mar 2003

4.0 out of 5 stars 4 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 64 pages
  • Publisher: Carcanet Press Ltd (28 Mar. 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1857546261
  • ISBN-13: 978-1857546262
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 0.5 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars 4 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,512,082 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product description


Her range is astonishing. Most readers will come away having been changed or delighted. -- The Daily Telegraph

Moves through minefields of emotion with instinctive grace. -- Sian Hughes, the Times Education Supplement

One of the best rhyming poets in the business -- The Bookseller

Shall I put it in capitals? SOPHIE HANNAH IS A GENIUS -- John Whitworth, Poetry Review

The Brightest young star in British Poetry -- Judith Palmer, The Independent

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

My husband doesn’t want to hold the plastic pelvis model.
He tells the other husbands that it’s bound to be a doddle.
He thinks the role of classes is to teach, not mollycoddle.

He’ll go so far, but not an inch beyond.
My husband is afraid of meeting women called Magenta,
Of sharing wholesome snacks outside the Early Learning Centre,
Of any exercise that’s an incontinence preventor.

He’s friendly but determined not to bond.
My husband listens to my fear, tells me to overcome it.
Changes the subject to the Davos Economic Summit,
Decides that if there’s pain he’ll simply ask the nurse to numb it.

He says he doesn’t think it sounds that bad.
My husband mocks the books with their advice about nutrition,
He shocks the other couples in the coffee intermission
By saying Ziggy Marley seems in pretty good condition

Despite the smoking habits of his dad.
My husband doesn’t care if I’m a leaner or a squatter,
Says pregnancy is no excuse for reading Harry Potter
He isn’t keen on Stephanie or Amos or Carlotta.

Leave it to him; he named our latest car.
On Father’s Day my husband gets a card he’s not expecting.
I say it’s from the baby, with a little redirecting.
He doesn’t blame my hormones or insist that I’m projecting.

He tells me he’s the father of a star.
Ideally your floors should not be carpeted but tiled
A brightly coloured nursery will stimulate your child.
Do not eat soft-boiled eggs, smoke crack, fellate infected men
But tell your partner how you fell (see diagram, page ten).
You’re bored and restless? Now is not the time to fly to China
Or let friends with litter trays blow air up your vagina.
Make sure your fitness trainer is aware of your condition.
Remember, you must check your teeth and call that electrician
And every tune you raise a glass or lift a fork, please think
Is this the very best thing for your child to eat or drink?
Once-a-month treats - a slice of cake - will not do any harm
But don’t lick lambing ewes or stick syringes in your arm.
Quite often pregnancies go wrong, and when they do, that’s sad.
It sometimes happens if you’re stressed or pregnant by your dad
But eat your folic acid and next time a thin blue line
Appears, relax. Think positive. Most likely you’ll be fine.
Try not to feel too daunted by this barrage of advice.
It really doesn’t matter if you slip up once or twice -
Eat the wrong cheese, go on the game. It’s not all doom and gloom:
Never again will baby be as safe as in your womb.

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VINE VOICEon 4 June 2004
Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase
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on 9 August 2010
Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase
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on 27 March 2003
Format: Paperback
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on 2 January 2013
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