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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: ...and Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy Paperback – 17 May 2011
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"Carolla...has keen political instincts and a vision for common sense."
--New York Post
"Laugh-out-loud funny [Adam Carolla s] invective-filled screed is often completely politically incorrect, and always completely hilarious."
"If comedy books werebig-breasted porn stars, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks would be Christy Canyon."
--Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and bestselling author of The Book of Basketball
"Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I'm not kidding."
"Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness. Alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you're done, you're a stronger, better person."
"If you re a man, read this book. If you re a man who wearsturtlenecks, wise up. Nobody thinks that looks good."
I don t know this guy from Adam, but Carolla s humor fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funny sucks out like liposuction the layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.
From the Hardcover edition."
About the Author
Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program "Dancing with the Stars." Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.
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Hilarious observations of the falling society, the man speaks a lot of sense and does not censor himself, refreshing contrast. If this man ran America, there'd be a whole lot less nonsense.
Apologies for those of you who've read this wanting to find out more about the book-I was the same as you-but I wanted to correct the star rating so people could see the correct score. (I know I'm doing the same in a way by rating it without reading it, but MINE at least is to cancel out the other rating...so not as bad. I think. :-s)
When I came to actually read the book, however, laughing at first at the spot-on way Carolla mimics such people's cries of "common sense!" and "it's political correctness gone mad!", a nasty feeling started creeping up on me. He was doing it too well. There was real feeling behind his litany of misogyny, racism, homophobia, and bigotry. I began to get uncomfortable. It's one thing joking around and pretending to be ignorant and small-minded, but people might mistake it for real sentiment if you do it TOO well!
The more I read, the more Carolla really seemed to be the person I had taken him to be parodying, so I decided to look him up on the Internet. And that's when I realised that it was I who had made the mistake. This book was entirely serious. The author actually believed all the ridiculous things he was saying. In horror and disgust, I read on. Surely, surely, there will be some opinions of his that I agree with? That aren't bigoted, unintelligent, and (ironically) conforming to the stereotype of the stupid redneck?
I was gratified to see that I shared at least some of his views; that is, he does make points which are sensible critique of our society. But these are so drowned by the vast ocean of disagreeable hideousness that I was unable to read more than thirty pages. At that point I had to stop, because I had become so angry that I had literally become red in the face and, had I happened to meet Carolla then, would have assaulted him viciously with all my strength.
I can remember only two things from the book as specific examples of what incensed me so (I probably have forgotten the specifics of the rest as a survival mechanism to prevent permanent high blood pressure), so I shall describe them both now as an example of Carolla's attitude.
The first is, simply, the title. "In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks: ...and Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy." There's two things there, and I'll take the latest occurring first: on the very cover he admits to being white and male, and, therefore, unlikely to have suffered any huge amount of discrimination in his life. I'm not saying that this makes him unable to express views on women's rights, race relations, and so on; only that he ought to exercise greater caution to avoid causing offence. Of course, causing offence is entirely his aim. Secondly, the "chicks". This is never a term used to empower women; indeed its comparison of the woman to a small and defenceless baby animal is considered by many women derogatory. But not only is he using a semi-misogynist term in the title of his book, he is also using it as an insult. He's implying that being female is inherently something bad, something that should be avoided.
The other thing I recall him saying was something along the lines of "No man wants his son to be gay. They may say otherwise, but secretly all men try to teach their sons heterosexuality." I'm not saying this isn't true, I imagine many men do think this, but he justifies this viewpoint. Leaving aside the fact that he doesn't even mention daughters, I have simply this to say: if a man truly loved his son, he would want his son to be happy. Whatever sexuality made the son happy, that would be fine with dad, just as long as son was happy. Fathers: would you really rather your son was unhappy in a heterosexual relationship because he felt pressured to be straight, than happy with a man?
To conclude: don't buy this book if you think it's a parody. Only buy it if you are ignorant, narrow-minded, and bigoted, because then you'll agree with everything Carolla says. Actually, don't buy it even if you are: consider something else, perhaps you could become a better person.
So why create a bad rating?
Well, I've seen Mr. Carolla in Jay Leno's show a few weeks ago (maybe an old show, I missed the beginning, later I googled the book to find out more about it and its author) and I think he is just a ... (enter your favourite negative), not funny at all (one clearly senses that he thinks he's funny, he probably thinks he's the funniest guy on earth), after 3 minutes I switched off and decided to use the saved minutes to create this review.
So beware: the book very likely is as stupid and not funny as its author so don't buy it (and don't buy anything else from Mr. Carolla).
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