Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
|Print List Price:||£7.29|
Save £6.30 (86%)
Extermination Day Kindle Edition
|New from||Used from|
Customers who bought this item also bought
Would you like to tell us about a lower price?
Top customer reviews
Here is an example of what I mean: "Jeff finished putting on his launch suit with the help of a technician that he waved over". How about: "Jeff waved to a nearby technician who hurried over and helped him into his launch suit" or "Jeff turned and raised his arm to attract the attention of a passing technician...". What I'm saying is that a more active voice is needed throughout, whereas this just plods through a list of actions to progress the story. There is also a noticeable lack of adjectives and adverbs, making the language seem dull and remote.
One other big issue I had is that it's way too US-centric (phrases such as 'America and the rest of the world' and 'it was designed to kill Americans' abound) and it is unthinkingly president-worshipping (presidents are politicians, not demi-Gods!) This would need to be toned down for an international audience because it makes 'the rest of the world' cringe.
This story has lots of potential but it feels like a first draft. The problems could be put right with the help of an experienced editor or perhaps a creative writing course. I hope the author takes my comments as constructive criticism.
Look for similar items by category
- Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Dystopian
- Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Post-Apocalyptic
- Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Time Travel
- Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction
- Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Dystopian
- Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Post-Apocalyptic
- Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Time Travel