- Paperback: 304 pages
- Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; 5th Revised edition edition (19 Jun. 2014)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0062270451
- ISBN-13: 978-0062270450
- Product Dimensions: 13.5 x 1.7 x 20.3 cm
- Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (119 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 2,729 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children Paperback – 19 Jun 2014
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About the Author
Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model described in this book, an approach he has researched extensively, along with colleagues throughout the world. Dr. Greene served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is currently Founding Director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance and adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech. He consults extensively to families, schools, and therapeutic facilities and lectures widely internationally. Vast free resources on the CPS approach can be found on the Lives in the Balance website (www.livesinthebalance.org).
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Top Customer Reviews
I couldn't recommend this book enough and will be buying copies for other parents who have these same kind of inflexible, explosive kids. It's a lifesaver.
It is recommended that parents sharply reduce demands and expetations by enforcing only the ablolute minimum firm unyielding limits. (but no advice on how to actually do it)
The avoidance of meltdowns is given as a top priority because when children are incoherent, they are not receptive to learning. His theory is that if you strive to keep the child coherent as he/she approaches a meltdown by negotiating and problem solving, they will eventually learn to manage frustration. I think they will learn to manage their parents and avoid learning and growth. He insists that the few absolute demands will be enough to maintain the adults as authority figures and that everything else is not important enough to risk instigating a meltdown. I agree that it is useless to lecture or punish during or after a meltdown, but avoiding a meltdown should not even be a consideration when it comes to family rules and values. This approach teaches a child to fear their own emotions as they watch their parents jump through hoops in fear of angry outbursts.
I can say with certainty that this approach would have been catostrophic with our child as he rarely actually wanted what he was fussing about. He would endlessly bait and lure us into senseless arguaments trying to get us to explain or negotiate our rules with no purpose.Read more ›
I'm speaking from personal experience here - I have Asperger's syndrome (a mild autistic spectrum condition), and, looking back, as a child I definitely fitted the "inflexible-explosive" patterns described in the book. This book encapsulates all the wisdom my exhausted parents had to learn the hard way.
I already know of at least one parent of a teenager with AS who is currently finding the book absolutely lifesaving, and I've had to buy several copies to lend to people.
It's thoughtful, humane, and very practical. Very highly recommended.
I started reading The Explosive Child book about six weeks ago, during the school summer holiday. My youngest daughter is five, and was frequently testing the patience of everyone around her. Exploding over seemingly trivial incidents, often daily.
Ross Greene explains in the opening chapters that the child does not deliberately set out to cause angry scenes, they just cannot help being inflexible. Before I accepted this statement, I felt sure my daughter said things just to annoy me. It took me a day or two to accept this statement.
Then I was ready for the next stage, observing my child and watching out for the warning signs of a pending explosive situation. Now I had "let go" of the idea that she was winding me up on purpose, I was calm and able to identify the main triggers for an explosion. Also I discovered that I could calm her down and avoid a conflict from occuring. Fantastic! Whoopee!!!
I am only half way through the book, (chapters 8 to 14 still to read) having read and digested Ross Greene's views, advice and manangement techniques thus far. I am pleased to say this book has transformed her life, I really enjoy my time with her as she is so much calmer, without me getting angry in response to her inflexibility. So what if she stays in the bath playing 10 minutes longer that I would previously have liked? She goes to bed calm and happy (and I'm calm too!!!!)
I have shared my understanding and the techniques with the rest of the family, and her school. Now we all have a consistent approach towards her, can spot potential triggers and act accordingly. I was sceptical that his approach would work as it seems so radically different from other positive parenting methods.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Every parent or person that works with children and young people, must have!Published 2 months ago by CH
This has only gone and worked. And I didn't really think it would. I am so relieved to be reconnected with my lovely son, and to be able to relieve his frustration and anger by... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
Fits perfectly to my child's explosive behaviour. Very inspirational and helpful. Hands on explanation about what to do.Published 5 months ago by Amazon Customer
Full of vital information and guidance for dealing with children with difficulties.Puts a whole new perspective on developing the child's skill set for dealing with the modern... Read morePublished 6 months ago by Amazon Customer