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The Ethical Slut: A Roadmap for Relationship Pioneers Paperback – 15 Apr 2009

4.1 out of 5 stars 39 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 296 pages
  • Publisher: Celestial Arts; 2nd edition (15 April 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587613379
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587613371
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.9 x 22.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 14,706 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product description

Review

...I read Dossie Easton's book The Ethical Slut, a book that has inspired many people to become poly. I felt totally changed after thinking about what she was saying, love and sexuality can really be anything we want them to be... --Kindred Spirit, Jan/Feb 2011

About the Author

JANET W. HARDY is the author of more than 10 books and founder of Greenery Press, a San Francisco Bay Area book publisher specializing in sexually adventurous books. She swore off monogamy in 1987.

THE AUTHOR SCOOP

Do you eat your vegetables?
Yes, but I'd rather steal your dessert.

Have any good pet stories?
My dear Amy - a gigantic shaggy lab/poodle mix who went to doggie heaven last summer - is still the stuff of legend in San Francisco's alt-sex scene. One evening, she wandered into the room during a bondage demo: a sweetie of ours was modeling a spreadeagle pose. Amy took one look at her beloved auntie and immediately flopped down next to her on her back, all four legs spread out in the identical pose, as the room dissolved in hysterics and Auntie sat up, rubbing her wrists indignantly, and sputtered, "Upstaged by a fucking dog!"

Are you "six degrees of separation" away from anyone famous?
Distantly related to Clement C. Moore, author of The Night Before Christmas.

Do you have a scar anywhere on your body? How did you get it?
A stylized elephant branded on my right calf, put there by Fakir Musafar. Elephants are large, smart and matriarchal - hence, my totem.

What was your favorite birthday?
Ah, this is a good one... my 35th, the year my two main squeezes at the time took a cabin at Sea Ranch for my birthday and we spent the weekend mushroom-hunting, binge-eating and fucking.

Name a favorite dish that your mother used to make.
"Israeli salad," which she learned to make when she was trapshooting on the American team in the Maccabiah Games, the Jewish olympics. A chopped salad made with tomatoes, cukes, hard-boiled eggs, bell peppers, etc., and tossed with olive oil and lemon juice.

What is your favorite thing about being an author?
Spelunking in my own brain.

DOSSIE EASTON is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in alternative sexualities and open relationships. She is the author of four other books. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and has been an ethical slut since 1969.


Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I've recently discovered 'polyamory' and realized it's what I've been missing in my life for a long time! I've been married for years but recently 'came out' to my husband and we're trying to figure out what works for us. But even after just a few dates... I'm beyond happy! It's improved our relationship and given me what I've always yearned for! Thank god I have an understanding Husband! I bought this book after a poly woman on Instagram suggested it and I'm so glad I did!! It's like the authors are in my head and they're saying all the things I've been thinking. It's made me realize I'm not weird or wrong.. just different from the main stream. I would 100% recommend this!!! It's an amazing read.
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Good book, humorously written.
When you're thinking about non monogamous relationships this is the perfect book for you. If you just want to broaden your worldview, this is a good book too.
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I love books which are pain in the lower regions, which challenge the old rusty dogmas, and look at life afresh.

The Ethical Slut is written by very intelligent authors in every sense of the word, mature emotionally and free intellectually. Their world is a better world.

How I wish I read this book 20 years ago.
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An interesting approach to human interaction, and a very enjoyable read trough. A significant list of related publication are given as reference at the end of it, providing an opportunity to read more about connected subjects.

The advice can be applied to polyamorous settings, including the special case of monoamory, and hence the read should not be reserved to the strict former case.

If you wish to get some information about the subject, it is a good buy; if you want to learn about peoples take on respect and limit setting it is a good buy; if you wonder whether this type of setting is a good thing for you, it is a good way to get an idea as to which issues one is likely to encounter and hence a good buy.
In the general sense, it is a well written publication, leaving the reader full liberty to think and setting a respectful framework to relationships. Get it!
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I bought this after having come across it years ago, when I thought the idea of polyamory (open relationships) was a good one in theory but far too daunting for me. I came to a stage in my life where I felt it would be worth trying, and the book has been very inspiring and helpful. It shows it can be done - the authors have lived long and happy lives without being monogamous and also raised children. Some of the exercises are a bit "california" but some, like "yes no maybe", are useful if you can force yourself to approach it with an open mind and not crack up with embarrassment. But that's the hard work that needs to be done to open up relationships - breaking through the embarrassment and fear and awkwardness; and the book's straighforwardness makes that easier. A great book for anyone who's ever felt tbey could love more than one person at the same time.
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Format: Paperback
I like it, and it's useful for people who are new to poly, open relationships, alternative lifestyles etc. The chapter on jealousy is particularly insightful.

I started reading it, but didn't finish as I found the style a bit saccharin. It is, however, totally accessible and shows consideration to all genders, orientations, self-definitions and lifestyles. Good to dip into when having a polywobble.

It's also brilliant to have on your shelf when your date comes round as the literary equivalent of pampas grass on your front drive.
When spotted, it almost always prompts discussion, whether that's, 'Gosh, what's this?' or, 'Aaaaah, so you're sex-positive too. Yay.' A good intro for newbies on consent, compassion and sharing the lurve.
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This book was quite challenging to read as it is a long way from what could be considered the "norm". It was a good starting point for an introduction into the poly model of relationships espoused. Would recommend it even that it was a little autobiographical and learning how to negotiate the subject matter from a book can only ever be a road map. I suspect the reality is somewhat more difficult.
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A bit hippyish for my taste, all this free love notion. iI bought it more of a curious connoisseur rather than an active member of the open relationship community. However if polyamory is your thing, has useful hand on advice, and even if you're not, deals with personal and relationship issues for growth in a well thought out manner form two authors who have been round the bock and have lots of stories and examples to share. The whole concept of turning the word 'slut' into a positive term is endearing.
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