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ST Dupont Fountain Pen Snake Limited Edition Prestige 241054 - M
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Pen #7/88 In Stock This unique creation is available in exceptional black Chinese lacquer. The eyes of the snake embody green emeralds and the body of the snake is made in brass with silver polish. Neoclassique Extral Large. Palladium Nib. Emerald Eyes. White Bronze with Silver Plating Finish. Black Lacquer Body Limited Edition of 88 pieces Worldwide Packaged in a custom Gift Box Model #: 241054
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Working for MI6, I am compelled to seek out intelligence that may be subterfuge. I mean seriously, it is a fountain pen. It may well have been a FANTASTIC fountain pen, but no intelligent being would think it worth £10, 000.
Imagine my chagrin when I discovered the retail value of this particular item is £3.99. I know this because I found a receipt from Woolworths inside the box. You may or may not be aware, Woolworths is no longer in operation on the High Street anymore, which makes it even more frustrating.
Therefore, a retail value of £3.99 for £10, 000 has to be worth something else. I suspected this to be an encoded message from our Eastern European contemporaries, or even a terrorist threat, perchance the origin of the contents may be some political motive from the Chinese.
I was close; the pen was made in China.
I discovered none of my theories thus far to be true; it really was quite distressing.
I then thought at the very least, this pen was going to be gadget laden. It would have a laser that could kill a man at forty paces, or it would fire a single poisonous dart, or possibly act as an all-in-one TV remote, replacement central locking device for my Italian sports car and a camera. This pen doesn’t even have a reading light for the price.
It is just a pen. Not even a good one. Like most cheap and nasty pens (that I paid ten grand for), it doesn’t even write my own name properly. You get the first two letters and then just an indent on the paper of the other letters.
The entire situation has left me somewhat peeved.
In fact, I have had to re-examine my life choices. I have now left the spy business to work with animals, as my mother always wanted me to. This has not been without its problems either. I had an elderly lady client who, when receiving back her Bichon Frise, was somewhat perplexed and distressed to discover I was not in fact a dog-walking service as she initially thought, but a taxidermist.
All I can say is I hope you are happy NOW – LightersDirect!!!!
All I ever wanted to do was work for British Intelligence in hope that one day, just someday they would ask ME to be a consultant on the James Bond movie franchise. At this rate, I will be lucky to consult with James Ward.
James Ward is my doctor, who incidentally has some useful information on the treatment of Pediculosis.
Do yourself a favour, DO NOT BUY THIS PEN! It will ruin your life. Buy a car, put a deposit on a house, buy a boat or a big bloomin’ television and build a cinema auditorium in the basement to watch it on, but don’t buy this pen.
Not at least until they do a BOGOF or give away a free signed portrait of Chevy Chase.
I gave the pen to my doctor, James Ward, for his birthday. Two days later he posted the pen back through my letterbox and shouted through it “cheapskate b*****d”
After my experience, which I consider a major traumatic event in my life, I am currently convalescing in a caravan park near Blackpool, where fully-grown adults who are far too happy for their own good, dance and sing to five-year-olds and their families, alongside their colleagues who are dressed in furry animal costumes. Mind you, they do a pitcher of beer for under a tenner - so I am a happy bunny!
It’s hard to shake this pen off. I left it on a train, deliberately of course, until a snotty nosed teen came running out behind me saying, “You left this behind.” I tried to run over it in my car, before I reach the pen, which I left precariously on the road; I hit a nail and got a blowout. I then put it in a vice and was about to take a chainsaw to it. Until a screw came loose, the chainsaw popped out and cut off my fingers. So now, I can’t even write with the damn thing.
Yes I hope you are happy NOW – LightersDirect!!!!!
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