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Don't Go There! A Robblogger Look at Travel by [Logger, Robb]
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Don't Go There! A Robblogger Look at Travel Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review

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  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 224 KB
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004OC07SA
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
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  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,669,309 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition
"Don't Go there!" has a refreshingly simple way of looking at the countries of the world. Instead of enumerating the many wonderful things of each country, Robblogger looks at why we shouldn't go to each country.

I particularly liked the foreword, explaining his motivation for writing this e-book:

"What's this dubious literary offering all about? Besides a pretty clever way to part you from ninety nine cents, my girlfriend has always wanted to travel. I care for the idea of travelling about as much as I care for the idea of soaking my head in a sink full of electric eels. Travel appeals to me not very much at all, slightly less than not very much at all, to be brutally honest.
So the birth of this e-book was my girlfriend suggesting countries we should visit. And me finding creative ways to convince her that visiting each proposed country wouldn't be fun."

He is remarkably persuasive and honest about his opinion of each place. I have no idea if he managed to achieve his stated goal of convincing his girlfriend not to travel, but I definitely enjoyed the journey the book took me on!

Despite the tongue-in-cheekiness' of his humour, Robblogger's assessment of each country is informative and interesting. Of course, being an English native, I immediately turned to England to see what he thought of us:

"Windsor Castle and LEGOLAND in one day. Is that even safe or socially responsible? Dragging the kids around a thousand year old castle while they whine: Can we go to Legoland now? Is it time to go to LEGOLAND now? When are we going to LEGOLAND?
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x95de9c0c) out of 5 stars 9 reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x95e0266c) out of 5 stars A nice light read...and loads of laughs! 27 Feb. 2011
By Beth Muscat - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
Don't let the picture fool ya. This is actually a good light read.
Don't Go There 'is done in Rob's classic form of 'brow beat' humour. He rates 10 countries in the hopes of finding somewhere that he and his girlfriend can go for vacation. It's not an easy process. But, Rob plugs along...kind of like that train in Switzerland.
Let's move on.
He states a lot of good things about each country, but it seems the bad things outweigh the good things. For instance, he gave a -1,000,000 to Mexico because of it's crime rate and their lack of caring about said crime rate. He figures that if they got rid of the pinata, maybe the children of Mexico wouldn't grow up to be so mean and heartless.
He akins Russia to a fat woman who is bi-polar, has a temper and a dry interior with an extensive coastline. Of course, the Russian's invented vodka and they say "dah". What's not to love?
I particularly liked his facts about Greece. He compares Ouzo to Buckley's cough medicine. I've smelled both and I believe that observation to be correct. Although, as a Canadian mother, I have never given my child Buckley's just to test her resolve.
Sweden has the Ice Hotel, Australia was originally discovered by the Dutch in 1606, but they didn't like it and Canada just wants to be the United States.
Did Rob and his girlfriend ever come up with a place that they might like to vacation in? You'll have to buy the book to find out.
This book was extremely funny and entertaining. It's akin to my husbands kind of humour. That's probably why I like Rob's blogs that he comes up with. I'm used to it.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x95e026c0) out of 5 stars Well done! 1 Mar. 2011
By Tiffany A. Harkleroad - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
Most travel books try to sell you on why you should go to various exotic or exciting locations. Not this book. Robblogger instead tries to talk you out of going to various locations. For example, all the Swiss have to offer is trains painted various colors and a whole lot of lakes. And do not even consider Mexico, as you will get abducted, and have your entire hotel room stolen. England can offer you a castle that is also close to Legoland, but trying to hit them both in one day is a pretty bad idea. And one of the highlights of Ireland is a museum dedicated to diseased potatoes. Why would you ever want to go to any of these places?

I am not one much for travel myself. Short trips within a day's drive, for 3-4 days is about all we do, because frankly, no bed is as awesome as my own, and I never feel like I get completely clean in hotel showers. So when this book was given to me for review, I loved the idea of it. There is a part of me, like Robblogger, who thinks the idea of traveling to all these places seems so awesome. And then I think about it a little more, and realize, eh, not so much.

I love that some of the sources cited include Wikipedia and the US Department of State. It just proves that this book does not take itself too seriously, and more than once I found myself giggling uncontrollably. A huge fan of snarky humor, this book pokes fun at the pompous travel guides that are so commonly found among travel books. The book is a nice short read, I would say just about the right length to make this a first installment in a series of such themed books (Don't Go There Either as a sequal perhaps, or Don't Eat There, etc, the possibilities are endless).

I really love that the writer talks in the introduction about this being born out of an attempted to amuse his girlfriend. This is one of those books that gives hope to burgeoning authors everywhere to go ahead and take the plunge. Well done Robblogger, I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x95e02af8) out of 5 stars A Book Review: Robb Logger 13 Mar. 2011
By Shelly Arkon - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
Here's a little flavor from Robb's book:

The best Sweden could offer was a hotel likely made by a manic obsessive compulsive Swede with an ice pick and a lot of free time. Greece was a haven for dirty old men with cameras. The Land of Oz didn't have a good fairy or a wicked witch. Russia turned out to be the world's equivalent of the fat girl you would think twice about at the end of the night, even with their nine last calls, and Mexico scared the hell out of me.

Anyone can buy this book for ninety-nine cents on Amazon.com. It's worth every laugh. It will tickle your brain, and make your cheeks hurt. Make sure you're sitting in a pair of Depends. You might pee yourself, too.

Let's move on....(Robb's line, not mine)

One thing I like about Robb's writing, he's got manners and is consistent with such. He always addresses readers as dear readers or dear and patient readers.

Robb took careful time in doing research on certain countries for vacation spots so you wouldn't have to. He used their websites' homepages and Wiki-pedia for the important information that he delivered in his book. Thank you, Robb. I believe you've made your parents proud. Thank you for the warnings why no one should visit these places. Beware of perverts and hagglers. They lurk in other countries, too.

Let's move on...

He researched the following countries for you: Sweden, Greece, Australia, Mexico, Russia, Ireland, Switzerland, Egypt, and Canada.

Mexico scared me the most. Been there myself. And yes, it scared the hell out of me. Too bad the book didn't exist in 1997, the year I went there.I'll never forget the tugboat ride and people leaning over the side puking. I'm glad I didn't partake in the hospitality, tequila served with worms. Drinking and a bobbing boat don't mix. My stomach had no problems churning on its own. Robb's book brought back the vivid memory. Thanks Robb.

As for the other countries, he does a great job poking fun at them and pulling laughter out of you.Robb you're gifted with divine humor. God's been good to you.

However, I do believe he'd like some visitors because he promoted Canada. At the end he announced his birthplace. Thessalon, Ontario. I believe he'd like a date or something. Any eligible woman. Possibly a midget. I think he likes really short women. He made my eyes tear for him.

Sorry Robb, but I'm happily married with five dramatic daughters and two dogs. My dating days are over, buddy. But I'll be glad to read your next book. When is that one coming out?
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x95e02ec4) out of 5 stars Review by "Books, Movies, Reviews! Oh My" 15 Aug. 2011
By Timothy Davis - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
What a delightful and intriguing premise for a book! Robb's girlfriend wants to travel, and Rob doesn't. So anytime Robb's girlfriend suggests a country to visit, Robb hops on the web and finds reasons, often very funny reasons, for not going there.

For example, Robb's girlfriend wants to visit Greece, and Robb comes up with this:

"A survey conducted in China showed Greece was Chinese people's number one choice as a tourist destination. Austria, like China, announced that Greece was their favorite destination too. So before travelling to Greece, dear readers, I think you have to ask yourself: Do I want to spend my vacation with Greeks, Chinese, and Austrians? I don't think I've been less tempted. I like Chinatown, I like Oktoberfest, and I like feta cheese, but all three at once, in the same place? No thanks."

The narrative is lifted by Robb's self-deprecating charm, his obvious love for his girlfriend, and his great sense of the ridiculous. But beware, young readers, Robb's jokes are often sexual, and some are pretty explicate. (There. That ought to sell the book.)

Readers will react to Robb's organizational style in different ways. It's not really a polished organization. This can either be charming, since it adds to the sense of spontaneity, or frustrating. I'd say I was about 25% charmed, and 75% frustrated.

"Don't Go There" discusses Sweden, Greece, Australia, Russia, Mexico, Ireland, England, Switzerland, Egypt, Canada, and a surprise bonus-- Thessalon, Ontario, Robb's birthplace (where we learn some funny things about his dad!)

In evaluating these places, Robb uses such sources as tourist bureau's posts, wiki, and common knowledge, pushes them through his often hysterical imagination, and comes up with his no-go reasons. For example, of Ireland, Robb finds this tourist come-on: "Fancy crowning a goat, cheering on the boys in green or indulging in some oyster shucking? Festival time in Ireland is a year round party." Part of Robb's response, "I've had some strange ideas while drinking. Dressing up my cat has crossed my mind, but actually doing it, then parading her through town, claiming she were Queen of America? I'd hope someone would have an intervention for me. I can't reward a whole town for doing something that PETA should likely investigate. Drinking, music, dancing, and a goat. At last call I'd need to be assured someone was sober enough to protect the goat's honor. -1 point."

Part of the fun of "Don't Go There" consists in Robb's criteria for judging a country--from native celebrities to attractions such as nude beaches. The reader learns some interesting information about every country.

So, if you're thinking about traveling, or just want a good laugh, I recommend "Don't Go There" as a quick and fun read. I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x95e02fa8) out of 5 stars Rob's a Trip! 4 Mar. 2011
By Literary Litter - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
Stop! Don't put that dollar twenty five in the soda machine! Yes, I know you need a Mountain Dew, but you'll have that finished in under a minute and I have a much better use for it! OK, actually, forget that. You don't have to spend the dollar for this...but you'll want to!

I received a fun little e-mail today asking me to check out an e-book called Don't Go There. Of course my first impression is always 'Woohoo! Another book to review!' but then I found out what this one is about and I was a little concerned. Robb runs his own blog titled Inspired by Caffeine & Nicotine. When his girlfriend was pressuring him to go out of the country for vacation, he began to write this book of reasons NOT to visit specific other countries. Of course, I was told ahead of time that Robb was funny, but let's be honest. That's like every mother saying that her child is beautiful. It's not that it isn't true, but it's definitely a matter of perspective. I've certainly seen some ugly babies in my time. So....what did I find?

I'll tell you, for 99 cents you can't go wrong! I dare you to read this and not laugh out loud! I laughed through almost the entire book. I don't mean I sniggered occasionally...I mean I was full on belly laughing. This guy is hilarious! I'll admit that it isn't for those of you that are squeamish with any mention of sex or hookers, but it's still rather tastefully done. Reading this book was like sitting back with a bunch of friends and watching the crazy one get drunk and start spouting off about traveling the world. Great entertainment! I also happened to learn quite a bit. There are excerpts from Wikipedia and tourism boards on each country as well as tidbits that the author dug up somewhere. I'm afraid this had the opposite effect on me that it was supposed to. Instead of wanting to avoid these countries, I now want to visit every single one so that I can stand there and say 'Yep! This is what he was talking about! Stranded in the desert with a sewing kit! This is the life!' and 'Ode to a beautiful stream! I'll make up something poetic for you!' :)

Honestly, just go check out the blog and if you're not hooked on Robb's wit, don't bother spending the 99 cents for the e-book. Me, personally, LOVED IT! That's the best laugh I've had in a long while. It was even better than the time I took the top off the computer desk and put it on the floor so I could reach the stereo and when I stepped on top of it it just crunched beneath my feet like it was made out of saltines and I looked like a pink daisied ninja who'd just chopped a board in half and had a room full of my girlfriends who'd watched the whole thing! Actually, I laughed even harder than the time that my girlfriends and I were having a weekend off and I had on this cute little black leather miniskirt and realized there was a cup behind the sectional and reached behind to get it only to go flying over the back and land in a completed folded position, stuck between the sectional and the corner of the walls with an old pair of blinds stuck up my skirt. Point being...check this out!!!
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