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Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps Paperback – 1 Mar 2001
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"Let's look at the thoughts, attitudes, and emotions, as they're experienced, in their very different ways, by men and women". This is one of Allan Pease's chirpy gear-changes in this provocatively titled book. Then he begins to ruminate: men and women live in the same world, but they experience it as if they came from two different worlds. Boys like things, girls like people. Every boy wants to be in a gang, and wants a gun; every girl has her best friend, with whom she shares her secrets. Men want status and power, women want love. It's amazing, he concludes, that they can ever live together. Well, yes, and that living together is a pretty fraught business, though he doesn't seem keen to go too deeply into that: this psychology, with its frequent allusions to research and its jokey little dramatisations, is upbeat feelgood stuff, which is why it's made him such a fortune on three continents. "Listen to this!" he'll say, then on comes an Aussie squabble, the woman berating a husband whose grunts proclaim the fact that he's not listening. But to sell four million copies of a book about body language--in 33 different languages--means Pease and his wife Barbara must be getting something right. There are many scientifically-documented facts about the difference between the sexes, and Pease is selling them with a smile to an ever-growing public. You may be a contented member of that public, or you may find your hackles rising. It takes all sorts! Betty Tadman
The classic international bestselling book. Allan and Barbara Pease spotlight the differences in the way men and women think.See all Product description
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Some assertions are well argued: "men don't like criticism" but sometimes the authors stretch their argument "therefore they like to marry virgins"! They are right, however, that men can't find their socks: I have two drawers on my left closet, one for socks and one for underwear. I always opened the wrong one even if I should have had a 50% chance to open the right one. I then labeled the two drawers, and still get it right only maybe half the time.
All, or much, of this is explained by biological differences: men have developed as hunters, with long distance vision, sequential tasking, silence. Women have evolved as carer, with short distance vision (more useful in and around the cave), multi-tasking (kids, fire, food, vigilance) and communication (with other women in the cave). I can't swear on the science of all this, but it does ring a bell does it not?
I would give it more stars if I could.
From a female reader's point of view, if you are feeling frustrated by your partner's comments, their apparent lack of listening skills, insensitivity and lack of mind reading skills along with their inability to see things before their very eyes, this book will help you understand why!! For a male, you could buy this book and save yourself a lot of long winded, late night conversations, followed by periods of no cooked dinners and the silent treatment and a subsequently hefty retail therapy consolation credit card bill.