Divorce Poison New and Updated Edition: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing Paperback – 1 Feb 2010
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“A godsend to the many divorcées who are bashed by their ex-spouses.” (Publishers Weekly)
“Divorce Poison is a must read for every parent involved in a hostile divorce.” (Dr. John W. Santrock, professor of psychology, University of Texas at Dallas)
“With the wisdom and insight of years of professional experience, Dr. Richard A. Warshak shows parents how to avoid the painful repercussions that result when a child becomes the pawn of parental conflicts. If you’re divorced and you love your child, read this book!” (Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., senior scholar Council on Contemporary Families, and author of The Good Divorce)
“An absolute must-read for any parent going through a divorce. Warshak lays bare the evils of parental alienation and gives readers the knowledge they need to defend themselves—and their children—against it.” (Armin Brott, author of The Expentant Father and The Single Father)
“A breakthrough book. . . . Original, well-written, balanced, and filled with insights, it is perfect for any parent who has been the victim of bad-mouthing.” (Warren Farrell, Ph.D., author of Father and Child Reunion and Why Men Are the Way They Are)
“Divorce Poison is destined to become a classic. Dr. Warshak’s sympathy for mothers, fathers, and relatives struggling to maintain their children’s affection is outweighed only by his compassion for the children themselves.” (Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys)
“This book is a testament to Dr. Warshak’s vast experience, erudition, and deep commitment to the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of the various categories of alienated children.” (Richard A. Gardner, M. D., clinical professor of child psychiatry, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, author of The Parental Alienation Syndrome)
“Offers valuable advice, especially for those times when the going gets tough with your ex. It also helps you understand and heal your own hurts without hurting the children you love.” (Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and I'm Okay . . . You're a Brat!)
“Always painful, divorce can turn lethal when one parent attempts to poison the children against an ex-spouse. In this balanced, compassionate book, Richard Warshak offers vital advice to those caught in the emotional maelstrom of a bitter divorce.” (Mark Pendergrast, author of Victims of Memory)
From the Back Cover
Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.
DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.See all Product description
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Top customer reviews
This book was recommended to me by a member of FNF, and I can confirm that, at the moment, this is probably the best tool you can have against parental alienation. It will alleviate the feeling of helplessness and anger, and provide priceless tips and tools to counter the damaging effects on your child. If you are seeing the symptoms, no matter how minor and seemingly insignificant, get this book before it's too late.
This book helped me understand better the signs of alienation and encouraged me to keep strong and not give up. The many practical and easy to follow advices and techniques taught me how to counter-effect the alienation in my daughter, improve our communication and regain her affection and respect; it also helped me re-build my self-esteem and get back control of my life. I now feel like her mother again.
Alienation does not wait, the sooner you deal with it the better so if you are separating or feeling your children are turning against you, get this book quick and stop the poison of alienation spreading to your family.
Warshak's views appear well-balanced, non-dogmatic, practical, and profoundly honest and moral. He seeks what's good for parents and children both, how to make the most of a difficult situation, with a strong emphasis on the welfare of children in the present and future. He cites the fourty years of actual empirical studies as the basis for his insights. For a person who recognizes that fathers, too, generally share the same essential feelings for their children as mothers and can be equally, or more, capable parents as mothers, Warshak's references to actual studies are godsend.
Divorce Poison provides useful reminders and ideas on how to behave towards the other parent and children, and how to repair the damage done by a hostile parent's badmouthing. The target of badmouthing MUST react, he or she has to try to undo the damage, otherwise it is likely to hinder the relationship between the parent and the children in the future. The most important thing is to keep having as much contact with your children as possible. You need to keep interactions pleasant, not lose your temper, strenghten memories of good times by talking about them and verbalizing positive emotions that the children experience. You need to help your children find arguments against badmouthing, enabling the children themselves to see that the mischaracterizations are unfounded. It is of no help generally to simply tell your children that something is not true: you need to introduce facts and experiences that contradict the unjust claims. You should also encourage independent and critical thinking in your children. You should have your children around people who show respect to you, for them to notice that you are a worthwhile person in other people's eyes.
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