DEAN GAFFNEY - Canvas Clock (A4 - Signed by the Artist) #js001
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Needless to say my advice was heeded. Dean secluded himself in his outhouse for several months, only pausing to scamper indoors for dinner (Findus Crispy Pancakes were a particular favourite!). A renewed sense of vigor and purpose was clearly coursing through his veins. All manner of bangs, whistles, explosions and yelps of delight emanated from his workshop.
Finally he popped round one Sunday to show me the fruit of his labours; this clock. He told me it was his paean to the pain he felt at feeling his best years were behind him, and that all he had to wait for was nothingness. The cut out picture of his face stapled to a bit of a cardboard with a clock mechanism forced through the middle of it was his defiant challenge to Time. He explained that whilst the hands ticked round, his face would remain untouched. It would be a permanent image of happier moments, one that would endure after he had long gone. Something that would remain forever.... GAFFNEY.
And you lot think its a cheap bit of old tat.
DEAN GAFFNEY - Canvas Clock (LARGE A3 - Signed by the Artist) #js002
Well, that was close. Was just about to indulge in the A4 size Gaffney clock when Amazon, in all their marvelous wisdom, pointed me to this beauty!!! I now have 4 times more Gaffney for less than double the price. Thanks Amazon!!!
In all seriousness, this is a wonderful work of art. I have placed this in my hallway, having removed pictures of my own children to make space. I have purchased extra lighting to set the tone and at the right angles, the clock comes to life. Even some of Renoirs greatest works required some accessorising so I am now saving for the fridge magnet, mouse mat, key ring and coaster to really bring out the true beauty of what will surely become a 'future classic'.
It just so happens I have a small box room at home in which I never go into, and thought it would be perfect for it as only my mother in law stays there from time to time.
The quality of the canvas is pretty good but generally this item is over priced.
If you hate someone, this does make an excellent gift for them, in a passive aggressive kind of way.
I moved back in with my parents in their one bedroom flat, where I had to sleep on the floor and listen to their nightly, vigorous lovemaking.
It's fair to say it was my lowest point.
I spent the last money I had in my pocket on this clock as I needed a way to count down the hours to my death, which I had hoped would come swiftly. As I laid in my sleeping bag at night, fingers in my ears, I would stare at the clock hands ticking by. After time however I found myself staring beyond the clock hands into Dean Gaffney's face. It was almost like staring into the eyes of Christ himself!
I found myself with a new motivation and sense of purpose as I focused upon Dean's chiselled features. His soft smile called to me like the voices of a million angels saying "YOU CAN DO IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU"
I managed to get myself a job in the local McDonalds sweeping up vomit outside where all the boy racers would throw up after their Big Mac Meals and downing Beefeater gin. I worked hard, coming home to Dean each day was my inspiration for a better life. I have now been able to afford a tent so I can camp outside mum and dad's and have been promoted to the counter at McD's where I serve people invigorated by Dean's love and hoping to instill that same sense of believe in those I serve. Soon I hope to get my second gold star and when I do it will be all thanks to Dean !!
"What's the time Dad?" my son asks. "I don't know," I reply, "I'M TOO AFRAID TO LOOK."
The only respite comes in the early afternoon when, for a brief, shining moment both hands cover his lifeless, worthless Cockney irises. I think it's at ten to three, but it's hard to tell through the tears.
On the plus side it's more three dimensional than Mr Gaffney's acting and being signed by the artist makes it extra special. He has signed it: 'Help Me'.
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