Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High Paperback – 1 Jul 2002
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Offers an approach to handle difficult conversations with confidence and
-- Financial Times, September 2006
The book helps you talk honestly to anyone about anything, resolve the
problem and build relationships at the same time.
-- Edge, September 2006
From the Back Cover
"Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have . . . generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry's history."
--Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics
Learn how to keep your cool and get what you want when emotions flare.
When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or read Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. This wise and witty guide gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve positive outcomes that will amaze you. You'll learn how to:
- Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
- Make it safe to talk about almost anything
- Be persuasive, not abrasive
- Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
- Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want
Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or your spouse, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. With the skills you learn in this book, you'll never have to worry about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.See all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
And the authors' entire premise and set of techniques are described very simply and clearly, without all the heavy wordiness and theorizing that social scientists usually use in their books. It's very practical, short sweet and to the point, which I personally appreciate very much. I understood better through this little book what Kaheman tried to bring across in his large book "Thinking Fast and Slow" regarding the interaction of System 1 and System 2, even if the authors did not use these terms at all.
I am not promising that we won't be struggling with improving our crucial conversations for as long as we live even after reading the book, but even if we are able to remember even a couple of the tips and implement them during our next high-stakes conversation, it might make a big difference to an important relationship in our lives. And there lies my hope.
According to the authors, opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong. This can involve ending a relationship, asking a friend to repay a loan, giving the boss feedback about bad behavior, critiquing a colleague's work, or giving an unfavorable performance review.
You have three choices about such conversations. You can avoid the conversations, face them poorly, or face them well.
This book focuses on the last, providing practical advice about how to keep your own cool while encouraging everyone else to do she same. You can save a lot of time in reading and understanding the book if you look at figures 10-1 through 10-4 beginning on page 182 before you get very far. It's a helpful overview of the authors' point of view.
The book's strengths come in the authors' sympathy with those who have trouble holding such conversations, the many examples and advice on how to deal with difficult situations.
The book's main weakness comes in a desire to encapsulate the key lessons into ACRONYMS like STATE and ABCs. While they are nifty acronyms, I couldn't remember what they stood for by the next page. Something more visual at each stage would have helped me out.
I also think that the book would have benefited from more advice on how to be empathic with the other people involved.
But if you normally handle such situations by running the other way, screaming or slamming the door, this book will help you develop much more constructive habits that will leave you feeling better about yourself.
The two most important things about this book are its extremely American tone and its emphasis on the business environment. My criticisms of the authors are perhaps as much a criticism of American culture as they are of the authors themselves. The amount of aggravation, competitiveness, unhappiness, frustration, even nastiness, reflected in these pages is surely not healthy. It is as if the backchat, argumentation and oneupmanship reflected in certain American films reflects actual reality. In a British context, it is as if we all act like television 'East Enders' characters.
The whole environment represented in this book is difficult for me to immerse myself in and I don't want to. In any case I suggest that the book may be of more use to people with problems in a business environment than to those who have communication problems in their personal lives. For such people I expect there are better books.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
How to be courageus.
This is a book to keep and go back to it when needed.
This book is very interesting. Setting out coping strategies and communication skills in a very clear manner, using examples to illustrate points makes it very easy to understand... Read morePublished 2 months ago by Mrs T A Palmer
Great book with substantial tips and techniques. Especially enjoyed the practical conversations. This links well with negotiation and influencing skills.Published 3 months ago by Paul Dent
Once you get past the extended content to pan out the book the core content and examples are worth the effort and can be used in life everyday interactions.Published 4 months ago
Really really nice, I have read it over and over so as to memorize all the notions. It can be very helpful both for professional and private life.Published 9 months ago by Amazon Customer