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Confident Parents Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With Paperback – 17 Sep 2008

5.0 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media (17 Sept. 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1598694715
  • ISBN-13: 978-1598694710
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.9 x 21.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 536,689 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Bonnie Harris holds a master's degree in Early Childhood Education with a specialization in parent/child development. She's appeared on TODAY and she's been interviewed on other television and radioshows, and in the New York Times. She's written a feature for Working Mother. She is the mother of two 20-somethings and lives in New Hampshire.

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I am writing this review as a family therapist working with families who have young children - my own children are older now. Knowing Bonnie Harris and her wonderful previous book `When Your Kids Push Your Buttons' I was curious to see what this new book is about.

I was not disappointed- the book is accessible, concise and organised. It does a great job in helping parents better understand their children's needs and perspective. So often we get caught in our own agenda, needing to get things done quickly and expecting immediate obedience from our kids. Bonnie encourages us to take stoke and look at the situation from their point of view. When we have a good understanding of our children's perspective, we are likely to feel compassion instead of resentment, and can concentrate on problem-solving rather than resort to punishment. Bonnie shows how children are different from each other, and how parents can communicate effectively to find solutions to make life easier for their particular family situation.

The book is very clear in structure - it contains eight principles that are then applied to typical family flashpoints such as morning routine, sibling rivalry and homework. A very good read. I will recommend it to my clients together with my own book, of course!
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Format: Paperback
I borrowed this book 2 years ago from the library amongst many other parenting books and this one helped me enormously with my son so I have bought a copy for my daughter when she gets to that challenging age all toddlers / children get to.

I found the whole
aspect of the child having a problem rather than being one extremely helpful. Whenever we found ourselves in a battle of wills I remembered this and it made me more sympathetic rather than reactive.
Also the concept of who owns the problem, you or the child, this often applies. When the child is actually behaving just like a child should but it's the adult who feels uncomfortable and punishes the child for his/her own feelings rather than allowing thr child to be a child and being aware enough to take responsibilty for ones own environment and response to it.

I can not recommend this book enough! I still have the tips I wrote on the fridge when my son was 2 and it still applies now he is 5. He is a well mannered extremely responsible and confident little boy and I have never once 'smacked him' or really raised my voice.

Excellent book for parents.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.8 out of 5 stars 17 reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Another Hit! 8 Sept. 2008
By Claire M. Juengst - Published on
Format: Paperback
It is a great book! I like the way each chapter ends with a summary and the suggested practices. I really believe your basic premise of kids wanting to be successful and the 8 principles are "right on"! We all need to internalize the idea that "the child is not bad; rather the child has bad behavior" and figure out why the behavior is taking place. Your 8 principles get us going in that direction. I liked the idea of trying to focus on what is going right rather than what is going wrong. Other similar ideas that jumped out at me were: Different does not mean wrong and a child is having a problem not being a problem. The eighth principle, "Good Boundaries Mean Good Balance", is a challenge for parents. Parents do want to fix problems so that their children will be happy but as you point out, it isn't always the best way for the child because we are not cultivating mechanisms that they can use in the future.

Adoptive Families Together (AFT) has similar philosophies regarding how we as parents react to our kids' behaviors. They come to us with so much baggage and we must determine what is causing the bad behaviors.

Part 2 is filled with great practical ways to apply the 8 Principles. Chapters 9 to 15 cover all the "hot spots" that occur in everyday life.
2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally, a voice of reason! 5 Dec. 2008
By Heather T. FORBES - Published on
Format: Paperback
There is a reason that a search of parenting books on comes up with over 5,000 books. The reason is that all these books forget the vital part in raising amazing children: the parent! Bonnie Harris is an exception. She shows us that it takes confident parents. This book beautifully presents how to change your children by changing your perspective of your role as a parent. Thank you, Bonnie, for giving parents real tools that make a real difference!
Heather T. Forbes, LCSW
Author of Beyond, Consequences, Logic, and ControlBeyond Consequences, Logic, & Control, Volume 2
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars This book will change your parenting and your relationship with your children 18 Jan. 2013
By Jessica Hayes - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I highly recommend this book for any parent that is dealing with a strong-willed child or is stuck in daily power struggles with their children. Here are some nuggets from the book:

The most important thing we can do as parents is connect with our children.
You cannot control your child's behavior but you can 100% control your own.
It is not our job to make our kids happy.
The behavior in your child that you focus on the most only grows.
Problem solving techniques are much more effective long term than punishment
Children hate to be punished and most parents hate to punish their children
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book and a must read for parents 6 Mar. 2013
By dee - Published on
Verified Purchase
I love this book for the simple reason that the author explains that parents are not responsible for their child's behavior and that every child is born for success. This book opens lines of communication between the parent and the child without having to yell or punish your children with time outs, or grounding. It explains to parents how important it is for your child to make choices, to negotiate and to problem solve...all the things that your child will have to do for himself/herself in everyday life. I am so happy that I have found it!
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Any library catering to parents will find this a fine guide 14 Jan. 2009
By Midwest Book Review - Published on
Format: Paperback
Parents seeking a better way of improving a child's behavior will find this an excellent book discussing parental needs, kids' reactions to discipline and guidance, and how to break the cycle of defeat on both sides. Children want to succeed, behavior is a parent's cue, and this book tells how to create successful routines. Any library catering to parents will find this a fine guide.
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