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Mr Biffo

Confessions of a Chatroom Freak Paperback – 4 May 2007

by Mr Biffo (Author)

21 ratings

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'Almost dangerously hilarious. A ridiculous book that fails in
every aspect but one: being the funniest thing in the world' - Tim Moore,
author of French Revolutions and Do Not Pass Go.

The Internet: the greatest aid to communication in human history, a
repository of mankind's accumulated wisdom, and a global community where
free speech reigns. But mostly it's a family sized bucket of filth.

Confessions of a Chatroom Freak contains the lurid transcripts of genuine
conversations between beautiful chatroom addict LoopyLisa21f and a
succession of would-be suitors.

By turns disturbing, hilarious, and surreal, Confessions of a Chatroom
freak reveals what our friends and colleagues really get up to online - and
then confuses the hell out of them.

After Confessions of a Chatroom Freak you'll never engage in cybersex
again.

Print length

328 pages
Language

English
Publisher

The Friday Project Limited
Publication date

4 May 2007
Dimensions

13.97 x 2.29 x 21.34 cm
ISBN-10

1905548516
ISBN-13

978-1905548514
See all details

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Product description

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

LoopyLisa21f: Can I ask you something, dear?

PhilPhil69: wot?

LoopyLisa21f: When you say I look like a man, you're not actually saying
I'm ugly though, are you?

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ The Friday Project Limited (4 May 2007)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 328 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1905548516
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1905548514
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13.97 x 2.29 x 21.34 cm

Best Sellers Rank: 700,208 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 27,103 in General Humour

Customer reviews:
21 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		59%
4 star		11%
3 star 0% (0%)		0%
2 star		19%
1 star		11%

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Top reviews from United Kingdom

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frankenchick

Very very funny

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 May 2017

Verified Purchase

You either love it or hate it. Mr B. is a genius in my eyes so I loved it and laughed myself into a stupor. If you like his sense of humour (check out Found Footage on Youtube), and you can get a hold of a copy, give it a go. The world is weird - embrace it.

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

David Rose

I wanted to laugh... but was bored.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 May 2007

Verified Purchase

I have to admit I haven't yet read the second half of 'Confessions of a chatroom freak' as having reached half way i've become bored with Loopy Lisa!

The series of exchanges with would-be suitors starts brightly enough, but each subsequent encounter becomes formulaic and predictable until the point at which I lost interest. As an impulse purchase this was a disappointment.

11 people found this helpful

Helpful

Jamieson Villeneuve

Pure Lovely Insanity!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 1 January 2008

I must confess that I am a late comer to the idea of chatrooms. When I first stumbled onto the Internet, the idea of chatting to people I didn't know held little to no appeal for me. I didn't understand the thrill that some people got from chatting in Internet chatrooms.

What I didn't know is that most people go into chatrooms to have cybersex or meet up for sex; thus the excitement. It seems I was chatting in all the wrong places. I wasn't surprised at the huge amount of sex chatrooms. After all, the Internet itself has three uses: Porn, Information and Porn. Everything else is just fodder.

I never had the guts to go into sex chatrooms though so I have never really been able to experience what those kind of chats are like. Thankfully, Mr. Biffo has all the guts I don't have and more and has written one of the funniest books of the decade: Confessions of a Chatroom Freak.

Posing as LoopyLisa21f, Biffo entered singles and sex chatrooms and talked to men about the most hilarious, hysterical things, least of all sex. How wonderful is that? And thankfully, Mr. Biffo has preserved all these chats for us! Confessions of a Chatroom Freak contains transcripts of genuine conversations between LoopyLisa21f and many, many men.

That may sound like a very simple premise, but Mr. Biffo takes it to the next level. Not only does LoopyLisa21f talk about sex, she talks about all manner of things including farting, cats, flooding apartments, disciplining children, forehead models, car engines, snogging in cages and more!

If this sounds too good to be true, it isn't! Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is utter glorious madness and I for one couldn't be happier! It shows you what really goes on in Internet chatrooms if you haven't been brave enough to do it yourself and reveals an underside of men that is usually hidden.

It'll also make you laugh until your sides hurt and tears are running down your face. I have never laughed so hard, ever, while reading a book. I can't describe how incredibly laugh out loud funny this book is, I don't even have the words.

To give you an idea, here's a brief exchange between LoopyLisa21f and one of her would be suitors:

Swanvester1975: are you really Loopy?

LoopyLisa21f: I don't know about that, but I'm certainly quite itchy! My cat has fleas, you see.

Swanvester1975: ok not fun

LoopyLisa21f: I've scratched a hole in my t-shirt already, and I'm practically through to the bone on my ankles. That ins't even a lie!

LoopyLosea21f: What's good for lea-bites-other than rubbing your shines against a flea-ridden cat, that is? Ha. Ha. Ha. <COUGH>

Swanvester1975: vinegar

LoopyLisa21f: Urrrgh! I'm not drinking that!

LoopyLisa21f: I could mix it with some orange squash, I suppose.

Swanvester1975: are you mad!?

LoopyLisa21f: You're the one who told me to drink vinegar. It isn't my idea.

LoopyLisa21f: It might taste better if it has ice cubes in. Hang on.

LoopyLisa21f: I'm going to find out. One moment please.

LoopyLisa21f: .....

Swanvester1975: hello??

LoopyLisa21f: OK! Back now.

LoopyLisa21f: I have to say - That is the most DISGUSTING drink I've ever had.

LoopyLisa21f: I took two big mouthfuls, but most of it came out again - through my nose and bottom.

Swanvester1975: jesus

LoopyLisa21f: That is the most revolting thing I have EVER tastd. Worse even than the time Craig made me eat a bit of mud he'd picked.

LoopyLisa21f: I can really taste the vinegar through the squash and the ice. I thought it would be disguised more than that, but it isn't at all.

Swanvester1975: u off ur trolly. Took your mind off the bites though

LoopyLisa21f: Yes but now I'm thinking about doing some vomiting.

LoopyLisa21f: Do you want some advice?

Swanvester1975: yes

LoopyLisa21f: Don't ever dilute orange squash with vinegar and try to drink it. It's horrible. You see - it will make you want to vomit.

Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is pure, unadulterated lunacy and bedlam and I loved every word. Mr. Biffo has written an excellent case study of the Internet, men and sex and has rolled it all into one hilarious book.

If you need a cure for the Winter Blues, there's no better cure than Confessions of a Chatroom Freak. It'll make you laugh, giggle and snort. But be warned: If laughing like a lunatic in public places is your thing, than read Confessions of a Chatroom Freak.

People will wonder why you're laughing so hard, they'll need to get their own copy! This is seriously great fun and an absolutely amazing book! Get your copy and start laughing today!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Steve Berry

Put down the Internet and walk away

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 January 2008

If you've ever engaged in electronic flirting (dot matrix frottage, or "dottage" to the youngsters, I believe) you'll know that sometimes people you meet on the Internet aren't what they seem. For a start, nearly all of them are illiterate and many do not have even a basic knowledge of human anatomy.

Thankfully, LoopyLisa21f is not one of those people. Possessed of a graphic ability to describe all the body's orifaces and the various fluids that come out or go into them, this is her life story online. Like the films Hard Candy, You've Got Mail or Indiana Jones And The Lost Weekend Of IRC, this story demonstrates the horror that unfurls when a bit of harmless computer banter is allowed to escalate into a bit of more harmful computer banter.

Mr Biffo has constructed an excellent expositional study into the metatexuality of modern social function, interactivity and communications paradigms. This is an entertaining novel that will have you.

3 people found this helpful

Helpful

Aloysius Jumbo

Horrifically Enlightening

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 June 2008

One of those books of which you think, 'Of course! It's obvious! I could have done that!' Well yes, but you didn't, did you? Mr. Biffo did and fair play to him for exposing the freakishness of chatroom frequenters. One reviewer said the conversations become formulaic and I'd agree, but I think that's the point: Loopy Lisa tees up her suitors and the fun is in seeing what drivel they come out with in a bid to, well, cyber-roger her.

Great in small doses such as during commutes or bowel movements. (Train users might like to try a combo. (Car drivers should not.))

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Will Millinship

BIFFO BOOK! BIFFO BOOK! BIFFO BOOK! BIFFO BOOK!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 June 2011

I bought this book because a) I was drunk, and b) it was a penny (plus p+p).

Luckily, it's the best penny (plus p+p) I've ever spent.

Follow the adventures of LoopyLisa21f, a young, soon-to-qualify primary school teacher, as she bats off potential suitors from all 4 corners of the wwweb with stories of her bad friend Craig, her unhinged father and some extraordinarily badly-lit, unflattering photos.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Debs911

Laugh out loud (LOL) genius!!!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 31 August 2011

This is such a funny book, it's now my favourite ever!!!

It's not however, for prudes or those with no sense of humour.

Do not read if easily offended!!!

Do read if you love a good laugh!!!!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 January 2015

A brilliant book. Hilarious and surreal!

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Confessions of a Chatroom Freak Paperback – 4 May 2007

Product description

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Product details

Customer reviews

Top reviews from United Kingdom

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

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£2.80 delivery: Sep 4 - 8

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