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The Compassionate Mind (Compassion Focused Therapy) Paperback – 7 Jan. 2010

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,285 ratings

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Throughout history people have sought to cope with a life that is often stressful and hard. We have actually known for some time that developing compassion for oneself and others can help us face up to and win through the hardship and find a sense of inner peace. However in modern societies we rarely focus on this key process that underpins successful coping and happiness and can be quick to dismiss the impact of modern living on our minds and well-being. Instead we concentrate on 'doing, achieving' and having'. Now, bestselling author and leading authority on depression, Professor Paul Gilbert explains how new research shows how we can all learn to develop compassion for ourselves and others and derive the benefits of this age-old wisdom. In this ground-breaking new book he explores how our minds have developed to be highly sensitive and quick to react to perceived threats and how this fast-acting threat-response system can be a source of anxiety, depression and aggression. He describes how studies have also shown that developing kindness and compassion for self and others can hep in calming down the threat system: as a mother's care and love can soothe a baby's distress, so we can learn how to soothe ourselves. Not only does compassion help to soothe distressing emotions, it actually increases feelings of contentment and well-being. Here, Professor Gilbert outlines the latest findings about the value of compassion and how it works, and takes readers through basic mind training exercises to enhance the capacity for, and use of, compassion.

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Review

As somebody who suffers from severe depression, I know the depressive's harshest critic is themselves. It is never helpful to be told to pull ourselves together by others but saying it to ourselves leads us in only one direction - into a spiralling descent into despair. This wise and perceptive book teaches us self-compassion and the consolations of kindness. I recommend it all the time. (Sally Brampton, author of Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression and the Aunt Sally column in The Sunday Times )

The increasing drive to find a competitive edge in all aspects of our lives may create efficiencies but they are cold, heartless and unpleasant to live with. Gilbert shows how and why this occurs, and explains why our capacity for compassion is the antidote. (Oliver James, Author Of Affluenza And The Selfish Capitalist )

A timely book for a time when competitiveness, materialism and narcissism have failed us. This book provides timeless wisdom that you can use every day. It will make a wonderful gift for someone you care for - especially, if you give it to yourself. (Robert L Leahy, Author Of The Worry Cure And President Of The International Association For Cognitive Psychotherapy )

Fascinating ... thoughtful and well written ... this book is a resource to be owned and used with enjoyment (
Nursing Standard )

A challenging and useful addition to anyone's self-help shelf, as well as a refreshingly rigorous look behind why our brains work the way they do. In fact, this is a self-help book for people who don't like self-help books. (
ONEinFOUR magazine )

Important and enjoyable. (
The Psychologist )

A landmark book (
The Scientific and Medical Network )

Interesting and helpful. (
Mental Health Practice ) --Mental Health Practice

A landmark book. --The Scientific and Medical Net

Like so frequently in the past, Paul Gilbert has come forth again with a book about the mind, its unused potential, and how to harness that potential to one s and others benefit. The Compassionate Mind is a roadmap to compassion for the self and towards others. It is a book for those curious enough to explore their hidden potential to attain a special kind of humanness and happiness. A 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. --Michael McGuire, author Darwinian Psychiatry

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A brand new cover for this bestselling title.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Constable; Re-issue edition (7 Jan. 2010)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 540 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1849010986
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1849010986
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13.02 x 4.13 x 20 cm
  • Customer reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,285 ratings

About the author

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Paul Gilbert
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Paul Gilbert, FBPsS, PhD, OBE is Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and, until his retirement from the NHS in 2016, was Consultant Clinical Psychologist at the Derbyshire Health Care Foundation Trust. He has researched evolutionary approaches to psychopathology for over 40 years with a special focus on the roles of mood, shame and self-criticism in various mental health difficulties for which Compassion Focused Therapy was developed. He was made a Fellow of the British Psychological Society in 1993. In 2003 Paul was president of the British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy. 2002-2004 he was a member of the first British Governments’ NICE guidelines for depression. He has written/edited 21 books and over 200 papers. In 2006 he established the Compassionate Mind Foundation as an international charity with the mission statement: "To promote wellbeing through the scientific understanding and application of compassion" (http://www.compassionatemind.co.uk).

On leaving the health service in 2016 he established the Centre for Compassion Research, of at the University of Derby and has been awarded honorary professorships at the University of Fribourg in Switzerland, the University of Coimbra in Portuhal, and the University of Queensland in Australia. He has written and edited many books on psychology, therapy, and compassion. His latest book is Living Like Crazy.

He was awarded an OBE by the Queen in March 2011 for services to mental health.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
1,285 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book fantastic, with helpful teachings and practices. They also describe the content as very easy to read and an excellent introduction to compassion and self compassion. However, some find the reading experience repetitive.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

85 customers mention ‘Reading experience’85 positive0 negative

Customers find the book fantastic, kind, and useful. They also appreciate the warm, personal, and good-humored writing style.

"...Enjoyed the relaxation and enjoy visualisation technics. One of the best books I have ever read for understanding myself and others and balancing my..." Read more

"...As an introduction, this book is fantastic and relevant. It has enspired me, both personally and professional as a therapist...." Read more

"...sequencing and detail of compassion training provided, this is a very good book...." Read more

"...The content of the book is good so far - compassion explained in an accessible way by the developer of CFT." Read more

80 customers mention ‘Content’78 positive2 negative

Customers find the book very helpful with helpful teachings and practices. They say it's a great blend of scientific insights and practical applications that encourages them to see things differently. Readers also mention that the book is well referenced and indexed. They find the message relatable and human-centered, with good stories and ideas.

"...Well written and informative about how life is for us humans and how we can live it better if we wish...." Read more

"...to do a little self development or simply fancy an easy, interesting read on Compassion and how to bring it into your life- this is the book for you...." Read more

"...It is also well referenced and indexed and I liked the "Find Out More" list at the end of the book with useful books, websites, DVDs and CDs...." Read more

"...negative traits of these three distinct areas of the brain is a very useful exercise, especially in how the rush of hormones associated with each of..." Read more

52 customers mention ‘Readability’37 positive15 negative

Customers find the book very easy to read, engaging, and enjoyable to read. They also say it's an excellent introduction to compassion and self-compassion, and not your cliché self-help book. Readers also mention that the writing style is warm, personal, and good humoured.

"Recommended by a friend and really enjoyed reading this book. Well written and informative about how life is for us humans and how we can live it..." Read more

"...It benefits from being well writen and well-informed so if you are looking to do a little self development or simply fancy an easy, interesting read..." Read more

"This is a hard read. The author makes crap dad jokes throughout. I got bored about a quarter of the way through. Not sure I’ll pick it up again." Read more

"...It was to say the least an arduous read, in spite of the easy engaging style employed. This style I think has sacrificed brevity...." Read more

29 customers mention ‘Enjoyability’6 positive23 negative

Customers find the book very repetitive, frustrating, and alienating. They also say the writing is poor and boring, not inspiring, and ponderous. Readers also mention that the book is intense and difficult to get through in sections.

"...However, it made for a very long (and very repetitious) read for someone interested in the former, who already uses aspects of the latter...." Read more

"...I would say that it can be slightly repetitive at times but the book is ultimately effective at driving the message home...." Read more

"...unnecessary to the stated theme of the book and, in the end, quite alienating. Felt like one gross misrepresentation after another...." Read more

"...this is an engaging book, easy to read, and bound to be immensely helpful both to therapists and clients, as it's written in what I would call a..." Read more

Great book, poor binding - pages falling out upon first read
3 Stars
Great book, poor binding - pages falling out upon first read
I bought this book for a college assignment. The first time I read it, pages started falling out. Sadly, there is no way to directly contact the seller and I cannot send it back as I need it for an essay. The content of the book is good so far - compassion explained in an accessible way by the developer of CFT.
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Top reviews from United Kingdom

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 July 2021
Recommended by a friend and really enjoyed reading this book. Well written and informative about how life is for us humans and how we can live it better if we wish. I know quite a bit of stuff and there are good reminders about what we know about behaviour. Enjoyed the relaxation and enjoy visualisation technics. One of the best books I have ever read for understanding myself and others and balancing my mind and actions
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 May 2017
As a recently qualified therapist, I decided to read a little around Compassion Focused Therapy and came across the work of Paul Gilbert. Then I found this book and I am elated that I did, it was longer than I expected, 500 pages but that only makes ir even better value for money.
As an introduction, this book is fantastic and relevant. It has enspired me, both personally and professional as a therapist. It benefits from being well writen and well-informed so if you are looking to do a little self development or simply fancy an easy, interesting read on Compassion and how to bring it into your life- this is the book for you. I was sad to finish it and will certainly be purchasing more of Paul Gilbert's books.
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5.0 out of 5 stars A life changer. 100% recommend this to anyone
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 May 2017
As a recently qualified therapist, I decided to read a little around Compassion Focused Therapy and came across the work of Paul Gilbert. Then I found this book and I am elated that I did, it was longer than I expected, 500 pages but that only makes ir even better value for money.
As an introduction, this book is fantastic and relevant. It has enspired me, both personally and professional as a therapist. It benefits from being well writen and well-informed so if you are looking to do a little self development or simply fancy an easy, interesting read on Compassion and how to bring it into your life- this is the book for you. I was sad to finish it and will certainly be purchasing more of Paul Gilbert's books.
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15 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 January 2011
I came to this book soon after reading Karen Armstrong's Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life and the common purpose was striking; to help us all become more compassionate, to ourselves and others, so that we may then build a better more compassionate world and become happier, kinder and healthier individuals in the process.

The book is built around "compassionate mind training" and the idea, now with some scientific evidence, is that we have the wiring in our brain for compassion, and that we have evolved to thrive on caring behaviour, on kindness and compassion. The problem is that too often our "old brain" reptilian instincts of the four F's (feeding, fighting, fleeing and ...reproduction) take control of our lives. The very good news for humanity is that our propensity for compassion not only reflects the genes we are born with, but also to some extent is a result of the effect of early upbringing, and very significantly can be developed with the right exercises and practices - "physiotherapy for the brain."

Part One, in 6 chapters over c. 250 pages shares the science - how our minds and brains work and why compassion is a powerful healing process. This understanding, he stresses, is important for us in being able to most effectively develop that compassionate mind. He explains ten life challenges that we will meet along the way, such as competitive business efficiency that threatens our need for interconnectedness, (business efficiency he says is "crippling our hearts"), and the tragedies of life that can send us to despair and depression rather than compassion. He also writes of the three basic emotion regulation systems that evolution has given us: threat and self- protection, incentive and resource seeking, and our soothing and contentment system. The balance between these systems plays an essential role in our day -to- day feelings and our mental health. Compassion is our potential antidote for these getting out of balance. And he reminds us of the responsibility we can take on board to train our minds in this way for a better world for us all. Compassion is a "multivitamin for the mind," he writes.

Part Two - over 7 chapters and another c. 250 pages brings us the skills and exercises, for building the compassionate self, based on mindfulness, meditation, breathing, imagery, directed thoughts, self compassion, coping with anxiety and anger, addressing our own tendency towards tribalism and cruelty, our imagination and fantasies, our curiosity, moving from self criticism to self shame, compassionate writing and much more besides. Some exercises are physical, some written, with or without set worksheets, and he invites the reader to open a journal for recording feelings, progress, set backs, poems, whatever becomes relevant through the training process. Bringing the compassion we learn into our own lives and into society will create a more fun world, with better lifestyles. "Our competitive edge economics is driving us all slightly crazy!" he writes.

The final chapter reflects on the social significance of compassionate mind training and is an essential message of the book. There are final worksheets to support and guide us as we continue our compassion training. It is a life long process. But training compassionate minds to build compassionate societies is vital and responsible work. He calls for a review of child education, and the need to introduce compassion, empathy and conflict resolution training for example into the classroom. There is the need for better more compassionate support for our children "in care." We need a more focused mature and compassionate politics, a return to compassionate care in the National Health Service, a change of business style from aggressive competition to compassionate cooperation. And he calls for us to support causes that promote a more compassionate world, locally and globally, including ethical investment, compassionate education, support and care for marginalised youth, Compassion in World Farming. These are just a few of his ideas and they follow such closely similar lines of thought to those in my own recent book, Healing this Wounded Earth: with Compassion, Spirit and the Power of Hope, that I find myself in total agreement with most if not all of what he says in this regard.

In the sheer depth and breadth of material covered, in its logical sequencing and detail of compassion training provided, this is a very good book. It is also well referenced and indexed and I liked the "Find Out More" list at the end of the book with useful books, websites, DVDs and CDs. But the book is too long. It was to say the least an arduous read, in spite of the easy engaging style employed. This style I think has sacrificed brevity.

I appreciate that Part One provides the understanding to support the training in Part Two, and that this training is a life long practice, to be taken step by step as gently and compassionately as necessary. But the sheer volume of material confronting the reader will very likely daunt those who are coming to this book from a position of depression or anxiety or self- criticism, hoping for healing. Gilbert does point out, well into the book at p. 347, that some will need to obtain further professional help and support. For those already in therapy, and for their therapists, it will doubtless be a very valuable tool.

Whereas Armstrong calls for bringing compassion back into the heart of moral and religious life, as set out in her Charter for Compassion, Gilbert does not believe in God as creator and clearly thinks that religions are at least potentially a part of our problem in the twenty first century world. Spiritual traditions over the centuries have tended to emphasise life as suffering from which we are trying to escape. But he demolishes ideas of religion and spirituality with, perhaps not surprisingly, a charm offensive, a gently persuasive logic that is a welcome departure from the strident, disdainful, even aggressive tones we hear from some militant atheist best sellers. Spirituality needs to be scientific and compassionate, he concludes.

Gilbert ends with a reminder that many millions of people across the world are working to make it a better place. He also refers to Barack Obama's inaugural speech that includes evidence of a "deep sense of compassion." These items together he believes can give us hope for a better more compassionate era, "maybe, just maybe."
82 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 June 2024
Ir was quick, I didn't have to wait longer to start reading
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 June 2010
The Compassionate Mind is essentially an amalgam of different psychological strands brought together with the central tenet of discovering more compassion for the way you lead your life, often over-looked and confused in the western hemisphere with building self-esteem. At the same time - as the title might suggest - the book leaves you with the feeling that it is much greater than the sum of its parts, especially in its delving into key aspects of Buddhism.

A crucial outlining at the start, are the three evolutionary emotional regulation systems that form the way our brains and subconscious minds work via archetypes or social mentalities. They are influenced by culture/nurture (i.e. our phenotype) and nature (i.e. our genotype) making each person's wiring-up a unique conscious experience. The three systems are labelled self-threat/protection, incentive/resource and soothing/contentment. Gaining insights into the negative traits of these three distinct areas of the brain is a very useful exercise, especially in how the rush of hormones associated with each of them make repeat experiences almost inevitable. Knowing this greatly infects the 'be easy on yourself' approach that is a crucial part of the joy in reading this book.

As well as concentrating on personal self-acceptance and well-being there are also insights into how compassion can be a healthy part of any organisation. It is interesting to read examples of Paul Gilbert's recent experiences of working in the NHS which has adopted the business model. In particular to see the effects of over-systematising the incentive and protection systems at the expense of human kindness that eventually becomes self-defeating and emotionally unsustainable. As Gilbert puts it, a singular quest for greater efficiencies can "play havoc with our minds, morale and ability to develop cooperative working relationships." He then goes on to describe that "managers who are only results focused...and who can't inspire people to do their best, end up wasting money.. and a team of the lesser talented is likely to beat one made up of those who are more gifted but are treated as marketable objects who don't cooperate." Maybe an explanation for Team England and their abject performance at the 2010 football World Cup?

In analysing the evolutionary triune brain and the unique signature of wires which have become crossed between the various parts (to quote Hebb's famous rule that "neurons that fire together, wire together) the reader is guided through the traps of evolutionary inheritance. The positive underlying message, however, is that a course of mindfulness, appreciation, curiosity and compassion can become antidotes to our automatically programmed social mentalities, and the latter half of the book is devoted to outlining and building the compassionate Self via a series of skills and exercises.

A key chapter in self-building is entitled from 'Self-criticism to Self-compassion' which I found the most useful especially in its distinction between shame and guilt with regard to transgressions, and self-esteem versus self-criticism: "..self-esteem tends to increase when you are doing well - it focuses on getting ahead of others, and is rather self-focused. Self-compassion concentrates on how we treat ourselves (and others) when things are going badly".

There are so many gems of wisdom in this book that it is hard to credibly summarise the reading experience, only to say that a life-changing work for individuals and groups isn't far off the mark.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Arrived on time.
Reviewed in Canada on 8 June 2022
Book was in perfect condition.
Sakari
4.0 out of 5 stars Buddhist psychology
Reviewed in Sweden on 1 February 2024
Idealistic, optimistic, and a bit naive. Would be wonderful if people thought that way, but too many don’t.
LAURA Aspromonte
5.0 out of 5 stars compassion therapy
Reviewed in Italy on 27 July 2023
praticare inglese e andare alla fonte della teoria
Gloria
5.0 out of 5 stars Psychologist most read this book!
Reviewed in Mexico on 8 May 2020
It’s a must read when diving in self compassion. Paul Gilbert takes time to explore ideas from the evolutionary perspective of the most common human experience: suffering.
Glauves
2.0 out of 5 stars Muitos detalhes desnecessários
Reviewed in Brazil on 6 January 2015
Nível médio. Repetitivo. Seu estilo é cansativo e parece que estamos lendo uma revista de divulgação para o grande público e não um livro científico.