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on 31 May 1999
This book saved my sanity, my relationship, maybe even my life. I was going through major upsets in my relationship due to a partner's addiction. I was trying to "fix the world" one painful day at a time. When nothing happened except for me to lose hope, trust, faith and love, I turned to a friend for advice. She recommended this book to me. I was skeptical to try yet another DO IT YOURSELF book to fix what was wrong with me, but this one opened my eyes. For the first time ever, I saw the patterns of my actions leading me straight to heartache and frustration. The descriptions were right on target, I saw myself in every list. It was scary, yet encouraging, because I did not feel alone, nor did I feel I was too far gone to be helped. This book will be a fixture on my nightstand to get me through the weaker points in my life. Whenever I need to take a reality check and think of ME instead of that other person, I open the pages and let it heal me. Thank you, Ms. Beattie!
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on 3 February 2008
I found this book when i was in the most difficult experience of my life.

I could not understand why bad things always happened to me? what was wrong with me? Why did people treat me badly?

I took this book at face value thinking that if i took just one thing from it, it would be worth the purchase.

I began reading and got through the first two chapters and i cried for every page because i had finally found that it was not only me that felt the way i felt.

At that moment i realised i had to follow the book and do the things it suggested i did, some of the things were difficult but i did them with a little time and patience.

I am now feeling much better and would recommend this read to anyone experiencing difficulties which they are finding hard to overcome.

It was the biggest thing in my life to realise i am co-dependent and this book heled me regain my self worth and move forward with my life.
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on 26 April 2014
This is a very good book in describing the issue of co dependency in relation to addictive substances like alchohol and drugs but it does not go into the issue of personality disorders and their effect on the families. I would therefore recommend "The Human Magnet syndrome" as further down the road to understanding the issues involved. Co dependency is more about personality disorders than addictions.
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on 19 January 2010
I am not an alcoholic, nor do I live with one. But I am a control freak and the tools in this book have helped me detach from the crazy stuff that is in our heads and to apply the lessons taught here. If you can move on from the references to alcoholism and apply the messages in your own circumstances, I thoroughly recommend the read.
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on 28 July 1999
I finally found out that I had the right to be happy. I also learned that I was powerless over people, places, and things. I can't express what a differenc this book made in my life. Since reading it I have continued to read the other books Melody has written. "Language of Letting Go" is a must for anyone who has read "Codependent No More". I have given it away five times. I'm forever grateful to Melody for her honesty and the gift she continues to give away everyday.
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on 20 June 1999
This book helped me to see the side of myself that gets hooked into situations that are unhealthy for me, and my reactions to it. I felt like Melody is a friend who tells you the truth without her ego getting in the way. This is one of the books I go to to when I'm checking out that I am on the right path and that I'm not crazy. Her writing is simple and to the point without alot of fancy language that makes an already insecure person feel better able to grab the message. Face it, if you are reading this book, your mind and emotions are probably in turmoil, and kindness is the key to recovery from what's eating you. This is one of my books I no longer loan out, because people don't return them!
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This book is written by an American because American's pioneered the Twelve Step Programme and the AA, Al-Anon and NA programmes that this book deals with along with most other issue based programmes that deal with co-dependency. It talks about "God" and a "Higher Power" because that is what the 12 Steps are based on. It takes pains to iterate that the "God" is of your understanding and just means a power greater than yourself and if you choose to make that a coffee table, a plant, or anything else it is up to you. It is about empowering your own life and looking after yourself to the best of your abilities and it is a helpful and practical guide that allows you to be gentle and loving to yourself. I recommend it without reservation for anyone suffering from any kind of codependency problems.
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on 25 September 2016
Excellent piece of writing. Well written, has a logical flow to it and above all is very helpful to anyone who has, or thinks they may be, in any sort of codependent relationship.

I literally have not been able to put it down. So many really helpful insights. Buy it!
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on 12 December 2001
For years and years I struggled with the problem I was having not knowing what the problem was. Whilst reading this book the light began to slowly be switched on and I was horrified, - this was me!
The author leads you slowly and carefully through the issues involved in being a 'co-dependant' and of course not all of them fit, but rather too many for comfort.
The one down side I would say is the book didn't really leave me with a positive direction to take and I felt a little desperate. But I intend to read more and get healed!! Well worth the read.
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on 6 July 1999
After reading just a few pages of this book, I realized that my life was about to change. Finally, I could identify with people who experienced life as I know (knew) it! Anyone in a relationship, no matter what type, should read this book- even if they don't think they have codependency issues!
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