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Codependency For Dummies Paperback – 26 Apr 2012

4.4 out of 5 stars 23 customer reviews

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Paperback, 26 Apr 2012
£13.00 £14.07

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From the Back Cover

The tools you need to break the patterns of codependency

Codependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from generation to generation. Codependents have trouble accepting themselves, so they hide who they are to be accepted by someone else. Codependency For Dummies offers assistance in understanding the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself.

  • Are you codependent? discover the typical symptoms of codependency and take a self–assessment questionnaire to determine if you′re a codependent

  • "De–Nile" isn′t just a river find out how you′ve denied someone else′s behavior, your codependency, your feelings, and your needs and how you can overcome it

  • Find your voice and take action get the tools you need to communicate assertively, set boundaries, bring positive experiences into your life, and cope with relapse

  • Put the "I" in independence put your new–found self–esteem into action by setting goals and pursuing your passions

  • Don′t go it alone reach out for help and support with Twelve Step meetings, retreats, psychotherapy, hotlines, and shelters

Open the book and find:

  • Characteristics of codependents

  • The importance of making recovery your first priority

  • Functional and dysfunctional family systems

  • How your upbringing could have led you down the path to codependency

  • What letting go and detachment entail

  • Tips for learning to value yourself

  • Childhood wounds that need to be healed

  • Daily reminders

Learn to:

  • Break the pattern of conduct that keeps you in harmful relationships

  • Create healthy boundaries, coping skills, and expectations

  • Eliminate feelings of guilt, blame, and responsibility

  • Heal a dysfunctional relationship

About the Author

Darlene Lancer, MFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, having worked with individuals and couples for 25 years. She′s a consultant, author, and speaker on relationships and codependency. Find her blog and more at darlenelancer.com and whatiscodependency.com.


Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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If you're struggling with the devastating symptoms of codependence then this book tells you everything you need to know (and more) about it and how to tackle it. It is the most comprehensive, relevant, concise and readable book on the subject I have read so far, and I highly recommend it alongside other books and forms of therapy. The writing style is direct and punchy and makes mincemeat of difficult aspects of this condition. I don't know how the author did it, but she did, and I'm very grateful to her for it.
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This is a superb 'must read' for anyone that thinks they may be a co-dependent, for anyone who does or has lived with an alcoholic and for those wanting to escape damaging patterns of behaviour. This book, which I read in one sitting and is now underlined and highlighted to an inch of its life, has made me a stronger person, who can now take the first steps in recovering from codependency. Highly recommended!
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As per usual with Dummies books, Lancer's version on codependency really does deliver a lot of detail, method and practical applications for the problem. I have been able to figure out with incredible precision what went wrong in my upbringing, and how this has resulted in my own self image deficiencies. I have been able to look at my relationship with my parents objectively, and without blame for their own problems.

I highly recommend this book as i have found it more beneficial and detailed than many months of therapy, trying to figure out where my poor self esteem comes from. The book offers guidance and, more importantly, hope for anyone who has codependent traits, i have taken it to my new therapist and we will be working on some of the chapters together (Lancer suggests joining a group or having one-to-one therapy sessions alongside self improvement). Starting with a thorough and balanced breakdown of the term 'codependency' and how it has been used (even offering viewpoints against the term), the book then navigates the reader through the dense topic and what you can do to start healing yourself and setting healthy boundaries in your relationship. My favourite bits are the parts about finding your voice and discovering how YOU feel about things, as i have struggled to get this from the therapists i have tried.

Will definitely be referring to this throughout my life as this is an on-going process of self development.
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You seem to get a lot of pages for your money. The thematic message is positively heavily reinforced.The author seems to know very well what she is talking about. But towards the end a spiritual facet was introduced - as an atheist, I thought unnecessarily.
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Pathologising facets of normal human behaviour is something of an industry these days and in this respect this book does not disappoint. I cannot recommend this book to the casual reader as it is not a casual subject - the specialist then? Well, no because I don't think thats the aim of this series of books (unless of course the professionals you know are dummies!). What about academics? Have a look before you buy if you can or borrow it from a library. Is codependency something you should worry about? Well if you don't worry about it now you will if you read this book.
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Very concise and well explained.
I understand dependency as a way to avoid intimacy with one self. Any book that tries to explain how we try to avoid communion with ourselves and give tips on facing our thoughts, actions, patterns, etc with honesty is very helpful.
Darlene Lancer also lists all the other people that have talked about co-dependency like: Melodie Beattie, Jonathan Bradshaw, etc.
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I highly enjoyed this book and there is no stone left unturned. I have read many codependant books, however this book has many chapters covering absolutely everything from characteristics of codependant behaviour to where to find help. There are plenty of 'self discovery' exercises which defintely have helped and supported me through the tough and on-going recovery from codependency and to quote from the book "its definetly not for dummies". I would highly recommend this book for both professionals and the everyday individual who wishes to recover.
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Read this book alongside counselling sessions. It supported & reinforced the counselling, don't think personally I would have been ready to take on board the theories, exercises or advise if I hadn't been at a specific point in my life. However, the book has been instrumental in helping me start a new chapter on my journey and will stay close at hand for support when I need it.
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