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Carnageland by [Barbee, David W]
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Carnageland Kindle Edition

4.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review

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Length: 84 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

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Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 145 KB
  • Print Length: 84 pages
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (22 April 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,957,692 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This very short tale... how to describe it?
I could say that it makes me think of a car crash between one of Richard Stark's "Parker" novels (one character doggedly kills his way through other characters, saying "I want my money..." as a mantra) and the cancelled Nickelodeon show "Invader Zim" (a little green man comes a-conquering.)
Or maybe it would be simpler to call it "Shrek" as directed by Quentin Tarantino.
This story is fast, fun, crisp and clean; there is a message, but in the same broad sense as Romero setting a zombie film in a shopping mall, but most of all this is a Saturday morning cartoon fiction.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x91d31624) out of 5 stars 26 reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x91e02018) out of 5 stars Sick and Twisted 14 Oct. 2009
By Eric Mays - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
David Barbee is a sick man - and I use that as a term of endearment.
Carnageland is an interesting read. There's little character development; the characters are what they are. There's some repetition in the action. But I loved the hell out of it. Why? Well, it's the same reason that I love the hell out of Corman flicks or SciFi (now, the oddly named SyFy) original movies. Because they're like sugary confectionary Saturday Morning cartoons for adults.
If you're looking for a sympathetic character and massive development, or even scientific gadgetry in your sci-fi, then bypass this book. If you watched Saturday Morning cartoons, like B-grade movies and twisted fairytales, then you'll absolutely love this book, like I did.
Remember Sherman and Peabody? Yeah, those two. They were always messing with history. Fractured Fairytales did the same. Now, imagine that land, twisted by Todd McFarlane, and invaded by aliens. There you go...that's kind of what Carnageland is.
It opens with 898 preparing for invasion. Inpire, Inc, the world where these "invaders" come from, is a pretty cool place, and I'd love to see more of it in the future. Aliens are selected by an epic claw (just like Toy Story..."the claw is our master"!) as the chosen invaders. Well, 898 gets selected to decimate a planet filled with fantastical beasts...slightly twisted fairytale creations. And decimate he does. If you've ever imagined some of the fairytale creatures getting slaughtered in horrific fashion, well, now's your chance to see it unfold. (On a side note, my favorite twisted character was the Ninjerbread Man...'nuff said.)
Carnageland is a fast read - almost too fast, `cause I wanted more - and fun. It really is like Roger Corman got his hands on the works of Piers Anthony and went to town.
Carnageland is available at Amazon.com...help us authors out.
HASH(0x92282258) out of 5 stars All Hail 898! 8 Jun. 2011
By Joshua M. Myers - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
CARNAGELAND is fun. Pure, unbridled, face-melting fun.

Empty your mind and let David W. Barbee take you away to a magical, enchanted, perverse and brutal land. A land where a giant fascistic alien corporation sends invaders to perform hostile takeovers of entire planets. A land with worlds made of money, inhabited by perverted fairytale creatures who use sex as a form of currency. And a land with a little green fellow called 898 with a loud green trumpet betwixt his legs, who plans on wiping out said planet with his Doomshooter.

CARNAGELAND reads like a video-game dreamed up by pre-adolescent boys while dizzy on lemonade. It's fast and it's funny as hell. There's enough sex and violence to satisfy the A.D.D. child in us all. CARNAGELAND is an absolute joy from start to finish.

Do yourself a favor and pick up this book before Inpire Inc. makes us their next priority.
HASH(0x922822e8) out of 5 stars Deranged fairy tale for clinically insane children 30 Jun. 2011
By FabulousRaye - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Originally, I was a bit iffy about "Carnageland". Books containing alien invaders are not really my thing.I eyed it for a couple months and kept thinking "Hmmmm,I don't know about this."

Luckily, I was definitely super-ultra-wrong about my iffy-ness. Depriving myself of this, would have been really, really stupid.

It's one of the most dementedly cute books I've ever read! All these horrendous and horrible events happen, but it manages to be ridiculously cute. I mean I "Awwwed" in a couple places.

It's like a deranged fairy tale. If I had clinically insane little kids, this is what I read to them for a bed time story. While they listened, they'd munch on home baked Ninjabreadmen cookies, and play with 898 figurines with fully working trumpet penises.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x92294738) out of 5 stars Video Game in my Head--Fast, Furious, Funny, YES! 9 Nov. 2009
By Kevin Shamel - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Carnageland will make you wish all of life is a video game. This book is pure fun fantasy.

From its beginning, you know you're starting out on a thrill-ride. The story begins with little green men who seem to have escaped from the Buzz Lightyear cartoon, underwent desensitivity training and came out believing that all the universe is for their corporate control. Their constant plan is invasion. They are masters at it.

Carnageland fills its in-betweens with a fun, hilarious, and smart story about one of those LGMs and his quest to be the best killer he can be. Our hero ("named" 898) was born for a planet-wide murderous rampage and we get to follow him through it.

In the end, our favorite killer little green man transforms from a, "am I killing everyone right?" sort to an all-out mini-machine of certain destruction. I love 898.

We follow the little killer on his first invasion. Barbee's planet of invasion is hilariously perfect for a corporation to acquire. Money literally grows on trees there. Gems are like dirt. 898 gets right to genocidic business.

The action comes quick and hard and doesn't let-up. This is from page 11, after 898 meets the first being from the planet he's about to destroy:

"...The creature carried an umbrella over its head and skipped over to the invader. `Ah!' it said, hooves clacking against the crystal ground. `What bringest thou to this merry wood? I am a faun, one of the forest children. What race is thou? A dwarf? Perhaps some sort of--'
A giant green spark shot of 898's Doomshooter and melted off the faun's face..."

And that's how it begins. I think Mr. Barbee touches on (and destroys) every beloved fairy tale creature, D&D meme, and 80s action cartoon there ever was. This is good, vibrant writing. The book flies by. I gobbled it. I only wish there was more. But there really cannot be.

I'll have to wait for David. W. Barbee's next excellent adventure.
HASH(0x91e02600) out of 5 stars Hilarious, sick, and bizarre! 7 July 2011
By JB - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Carnageland has it all. Horror elements of violent killings, fantasy elements of misguided wizards, and sci fi. elements of a colonizing alien. This Bizarro quest novel takes our hero, 898, through a fantasy realm which must be prepared for colonization and exploration by the government/corporation he works for. During this quest, Barbee steps on every ridiculous fantasy trope out there (even the boy wizard at a wizarding school). For those of you who like big moral out comes for you main characters, steer clear of this title. The only thing 898 learns is how to be more efficient at his job.
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