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'Scabrous and unrelentingly hilarious . . . the Trump era is truly Carl Hiaasen's moment' WASHINGTON POST
From the bestselling author of Bad Monkey and Razor Girl comes this hilarious new novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida's gold coast.
It's the height of the Palm Beach charity ball season: for every good cause, there's a reason for the local luminaries to eat (minimally), drink (maximally), and be seen. But when prominent high-society dowager Kiki Pew suddenly vanishes during a swanky gala, and is later found dead, panic and chaos erupt.
Kiki was an ardent fan of the Winter White House resident just down the road, and a founding member of the POTUSSIES, a group of women dedicated to supporting their President - who immediately declares that Kiki was the victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth.
The truth might just lie in the middle of the highway, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady's motorcade to a grinding halt. Enter Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, who is summoned to the posh island to deal with a mysterious and impolite influx of huge, hungry pythons . . .
Carl Hiaasen can brighten even the darkest of days and Squeeze Me is pure, unadulterated Hiaasen. Irreverent, ingenious, and highly entertaining, it perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.
'A comic genius' EVENING STANDARD
'He has sky-high standards for elegance, crziness and mic-drop humor' NEW YORK TIMES
'He always adds something extra to the mix . . . jauntiness, wit and larger-than-life characters' SUNDAY EXPRESS
When a severed arm is discovered by a couple on honeymoon in the Florida Keys, former police detective - now reluctant restaurant inspector - Andrew Yancy senses that something doesn't add up. Determined to get his badge back, he undertakes an unofficial investigation of his own.
Andrew's search for the truth takes him to the Bahamas, where a local man, with the help of a very bad monkey (who allegedly worked on the Pirates of the Caribbean movies) is doing everything in his power to prevent a developer from building a new tourist resort on the island, with deadly consequences . . .
Outrageous, hilarious and addictive, this is the unique Carl Hiaasen at his absolute best. Bad Monkey will have you on the edge of your seat and laughing out loud.
*SHORLISTED FOR THE BOLLINGER EVERYMAN WODEHOUSE PRIZE 2017*
A book of the month in The Times
A thriller of the week in the Mail on Sunday
One of the Guardian Readers' Books of the Year
Key West is a small place, but there are criminal secrets buried everywhere . . .
When jumped-up reality TV star Buck Nance aggravates the crowd in a Key West bar, he incites a riot and vanishes in the melee. His hapless agent Lane Coolman should have been by Buck's side, but has been accidentally taken hostage by two petty criminals who now think they can turn a quick profit by ransoming an LA talent agent.
As the search for Buck continues, the mystery draws in a broad cast of characters from across the island including Andrew Yancy, the disgraced cop who now works restaurants on roach patrol; a delusional fan of Buck's show; the local sheriff who's desperate for re-election; a shady lawyer and his gold-digging fiancée; the gay mayor and his restauranteur partner; a Mafioso hotelier; and a redheaded con artist named Merry who, using a razor blade and a high-speed car, has developed a signature way of luring in her victims.
Outrageously funny, fast-paced and uniquely addictive, Razor Girl will keep you utterly gripped until the final page.
Praise for Razor Girl
'if you are unlucky enough not to have read Carl Hiaasen, delay no longer'
'a joy from first page to last'
Twenty-two-year-old pop star Cherry Pye is attempting a comeback from her latest drug-fuelled disaster. Her 'stunt double' Ann travels everywhere with her, throwing paparazzi off the scent when they get too close.
But one night, Ann's resemblance to Cherry Pye proves too convincing - she is kidnapped by an obsessed paparazzo who only realises his mistake once it is too late to go back...
From there it's a fast, funny and furious race against time to rescue Ann from a terrible fate. An international bestseller, acclaimed as Hiaasen's most hilarious, gripping novel to date, Star Island is an addictive read.
A New York Times bestseller and laugh out loud thriller from Carl Hiaasen about a missing cousin, a half-crazy governor, giant gators and justice -- swamp justice, that is.
Typical Malley - to avoid being shipped off to boarding school, she takes off with some guy she met online. Poor Richard - he knows his cousin's in trouble before she does. Wild Skink - he's a ragged, one-eyed ex-governor of Florida, and enough of a renegade to think he can track Malley down. With Richard riding shotgun, the unlikely pair scour the state, undaunted by blinding storms, crazed pigs, flying bullets and giant gators.
Carl Hiaasen first introduced readers to Skink more than 25 years ago in DOUBLE WHAMMY, and he quickly became Hiaasen's most iconic and beloved character, appearing in six novels to date. Both teens and adults will be thrilled to catch sight of the elusive 'governor' as he pursues his own unique brand of swamp justice. With Skink at the wheel, the search for a missing girl is both nail-bitingly tense and laugh-out-loud funny.
Squirm is a funny, wildly entertaining adventure about the great outdoors and protecting the environment, from New York Times bestselling author Carl Hiaasen, author of modern classic, Hoot.
Some facts about Billy Dickens:
* He once saw a biker swerve across the road in order to run over a snake.
* Later, that motorcycle somehow ended up at the bottom of a canal.
* Billy isn't the type to let things go.
Some facts about Billy's family:
* They've lived in six different Florida towns because Billy's mum insists on getting a house near a bald eagle nest.
* Billy's dad left when he was four and is a total mystery.
* Billy has just found his dad's address – in Montana.
This summer, Billy will fly across the country, hike a mountain, float a river, dodge a grizzly bear, shoot down a spy drone, save a neighbour's cat, save an endangered panther, and then try to save his own father.
Wahoo Cray has grown up with a zoo in his backyard - alligators, snakes, rats, monkeys, parrots, but it's his dad who's the unpredictable critter. When his dad takes a job with a reality TV show called 'Expedition Survival', Wahoo figures he'll have to do a bit of wrangling himself to keep his dad from killing the show's inept star Derek Badger, who insists on using real wild animals for his stunts. And Wahoo's acquired a shadow named Tuna, a girl who's sporting a shiner courtesy of her old man and needs a place to hide out. They've only been on location in the Everglades for a day before Derek gets bitten by a bat and goes missing in a storm. Search parties promptly get lost themselves. And Tuna's dad shows up with a gun...
It's anyone's guess who will actually survive 'Expedition Survival!'
Hilarious, touching and thought-provoking, Hoot is a modern classic, now celebrating its fifteenth anniversary. Winner of the Newbery Honor award and a New York Times bestseller, Carl Hiaasen's first novel celebrates the natural world with his trademark wit and warmth.
Roy Eberhardt never wanted to move to Florida. In his opinion, Disney World is an armpit.
Roy’s family moves around a lot so he’s used to the new-kid drill – he's also used to bullies like Dana Matherson. And anyway, it’s because of Dana that Roy gets to see the mysterious running boy who runs away from the school bus and who has no books, no backpack and, most bizarrely, no shoes.
Sensing a mystery, Roy starts to trail the mystery runner – a chase that will introduce him to many weird Floridian creatures: potty-trained alligators, cute burrowing owls, a fake-fart champion, a shoeless eco-warrior, a sinister pancake PR man, new friends and some snakes with sparkly tails. As the plot thickens, Roy and his friends realise it's up to them to save the endangered owls from the evil Mother Paula's pancake company who are planning to build a new restaurant on their home . . .
From Newbery Honoree Carl Hiaasen comes this New York Times bestseller in which an eccentric eco-avenger, a stuffed rat named Chelsea, a wannabe Texas oilman, and an angry panther can't stop two kids on a mission to find their missing teacher!
When Mrs Starch, the most feared biology teacher in Florida, goes missing during a school trip to the Black Vine Swamp, her class is secretly relieved.
The school principal tries to cover it up as a 'family emergency', but Nick and Marta just aren't convinced. They think it's much more likely to have something to do with Smoke, the local troublemaker - whose run-ins with Mrs Starch are infamous - and decide to do some investigating of their own.
But there's more going on in Black Vine Swamp than either one of them could guess. And Nick and Marta must see off an eccentric eco-avenger, a stuffed rat named Chelsea, a crooked oil prospector, a singing substitute teacher, and an angry Florida panther before they really begin to see the big picture.
This is the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.
"This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."
So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: nobody.
Illustrated by bestselling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner Roz Chast, this book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.
A Miami hit-and-run witness winds up as bait for drug smugglers—in an “explosive” novel cowritten by the New York Times–bestselling author of Bad Monkey (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution).
Chris Meadows’s charmed life as an up-and-coming architect in Coconut Grove has kept him far removed from Miami’s bloody drug trade. But his comfortable existence comes crashing down around him when Chris witnesses the hit-and-run death of an ex-girlfriend by a car full of drug smuggling gangsters.
Now caught up in southern Florida’s brutal underground cocaine war, Meadows is in a fight for his life—to evade not only the hit men seeking to silence him, but also the crooked Miami cops who would rather exploit than protect him.
This is the very first suspense thriller written by the New York Times–bestselling author of Razor Girl and Sick Puppy and Bill Montalbano, a writing team praised for its “fine flair for characters and settings” (Library Journal). Those who enjoy Hiaasen’s other Florida thrillers, the Doc Ford novels by Randy Wayne White, or Netflix’s Narcos will want to discover these early crime fiction gems.
--from TEAM RODENT
How Disney Devours America
"Revulsion is good. Revulsion is healthy. Each of us has limits, unarticulated boundaries of taste and tolerance, and sometimes we forget where they are. Peep Land is here to remind us; a fixed compass point by which we can govern our private behavior. Because being grossed out is essential to the human experience; without a perceived depravity, we'd have nothing against which to gauge the advance or decline of culture; our art, our music, our cinema, our books. Without sleaze, the yardstick shrinks at both ends. Team Rodent doesn't believe in sleaze, however, nor in old-fashioned revulsion. Square in the middle is where it wants us all to be, dependable consumers with predictable attitudes. The message, never stated but avuncularly implied, is that America's values ought to reflect those of the Walt Disney Company, and not the other way around."
BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Carl Hiaasen's Bad Monkey.