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The Burglar Diaries by [King, Danny]
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The Burglar Diaries Kindle Edition

4.1 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews

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Length: 260 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Amazon Review

A house burglar's memoirs might well be pushing the boundaries of public taste and common decency but make no mistake, The Burglar Diaries is truly a work of comic genius. Look beyond the coarse language and outrageous designs on life and you've got a real diamond of a novel just ripe for the taking.

Danny King writes like a foul-mouthed jack the lad who also happens to possess irresistible storytelling skills and a wicked sense of humour. Bex, the chief protagonist, has long given up on the idea of a straight office job and is content to get by on dodgy dealings and botched jobs, but occasionally he does give in to the odd scruple. For example, despite the encouragement of his hapless mate Ollie, our narrator refuses to extract money from a kiddie's piggy bank and passes up the opportunity to cash in on a wedding ring belonging to a recently deceased old lady. He further redeems himself when, naturally in the line of "duty", he exposes firstly some neglectful parents and later an evil paedophile ring--exploits that earn him a hero's mention in the local 'paper. That said, this is far from a tale of robbing the rich to feed the poor and while Bex is a hugely entertaining creation, his chosen profession will not endear him to every reader.

King's first book is a devilishly funny insight into the mind of a petty criminal with hilarity at every turn. The Burglar Diaries, a remarkable debut from a man with a bright future on the "outside", looks set to ignite a cracking series. --David Thwaites

Review

?An absolutely hilarious, laugh out loud book by someone who has been there? Bruce Reynolds, mastermind of The Great Train Robbery ?Occasionally hilarious, if morally dubious, The Burglar Diaries is well worth buying ? and definitely worth half-inching? GQ ?This is the sweet-as-a-nut, hilariously un-PC account of the jobs [Bex] has known and loved - the line-ups, the lock-ups and the cock-ups. If ever there was an antidote to Bridget Jones?s Diary this is it. The Burglar Diaries is the first in a series. Long may it run' Mirror

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 552 KB
  • Print Length: 260 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005L2B7WM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
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  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #71,678 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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If you are of a certain age, you might well remember the head-to-head comedy conversations between Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith or the two Ronnies. They’d talk earnestly about something, dive off in tangents, bewilder each other and provide the watcher with a huge amount of entertainment in the process.

There’s something about the central characters in The Burglar Diaries (Bez and Ollie) that reminded me of those comedy encounters. Maybe it’s the quality of the writing and the brilliance of the humour that I felt they had in common.
Bez and Ollie are a team. We get to follow them through a series of crimes that are never short of interesting events in themselves.

It’s a collection of musings and action that come together as a well-knitted collection of short stories yet also have something of the driving narrative of a novel. There a thoughts on the criminal code, the planning of a burglary, fencing stolen goods, holding down relationships when you’re a crook, famous rip-offs, popular culture and shades of philosophy.

This was a genuine laugh-out-loud book for me and those laughs were spread all the way through the work. There’s great observational and situational humour here and I’d urge you to try it for yourself.
Smashing stuff.
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Format: Paperback
If liberal usage of the "f" word or "c" word offends you, read no further; and if you've ever been burgled, I'm not sure you will get into the spirit of the thing.

If none of the above puts you off, you're in for a treat. Bex, the burglar of the title, has been a moderately successful burglar but now has a story to tell, and he tells it as it is, including all his f***-ups and lots of other people's c***-ups. If you can put your moral indignation on hold, you will cheer at narrow escapes and laugh out loud at razor sharp wit and great anecdotes. The prison tea schedule is a classic. From the moment you meet Bex and his mate Ollie on a job that goes disastrously wrong because there is no bog paper in the loo, the plot unwinds cleverly towards a finale where doing the wrong thing might just turn out to be the right thing.

The Burglar Diaries may have four Fs, three Cs and a couple of wankers on each page but it is also a carefully crafted and truly witty read. But there are no messages in this book other than locking all your doors and windows before going out really does work!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Not as funny as I thought it might be, that said, was laugh out loud funny in places, just wasn't enough of those places!

Was a quick read while I waited for the kettle to boil type of book, nothing more.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I finished this book today, the strange thing is I started it a few weeks ago and must've completely forgotten about it and went onto read something else! This I think speaks a little about the book itself, to have forgotten I was reading it I hope isn't just a sign of me getting old :-) but instead suggests my interest wasn't peaked enough for it to stick in my memory. In fairness, my kindle reshuffled the order of my books, so this one no longer appeared right at the top but my point is, if it had been a real page turner I would have noticed right away.

The second half of the book in my opinion is better than the first, the pace picks up a little and there are a couple more funny bits, as long as you take the book as its intended, a silly read about how there's not really much harm in burglary, written by a burglar of course :-) then it makes for an ok, but forgettable read.
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By Bianca White VINE VOICE on 16 Aug. 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Bex is a sly thieving scumbag who knows every trick in the book. Sarcastic, street-wise and seemingly amoral, there is however the occasional glint of goodness in him, even the Good Samaritan. As a female, I doubt I'd have anything to worry about meeting him down a dark alley - unless I was carrying a tv he could steal. I've been sitting on the train the past few days reading these diaries and I'm sure my splutters of laughter attracted the attention of other commuters. Bex is a strangely endearing and very amusing character - I just hope he isn't jemmying the windows of my home open when I'm out doing an honest days work.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Written in an amusing style which I think is the only way to deal with this subject. Of course there is nothing funny about taking other people's property that means something to them, and invading their personal space where they relax and live their lives.

The characters knew this but didn't care how many people they hurt. They saw it as their job to regularly burgled houses, rather than it come across as a phase.

They had their own lines they wouldn't cross, and the book shows what happened, each time they were confronted by a line they wouldn't cross.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a very funny book, filled with detail around how burglars operate but better for the insight into this community and how people make a living from it. The main characters are good fun and made me want them to succeed. Not sure if i would feel the same if they aere at my window at 2 in the morning but never mind. A really good read.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
We had the 'The Burglar Diaries' for our book club last month, which was a bit of a departure for us, I must say! However, I was very pleasantly surprised and found myself laughing quite alot, and often out loud. The moral undertow is a little questionnable and I've never been a fan of the first-person narrative, which is, of course, not the author's fault, but once you get in to the flavour, rhythm and language of the book, I thought it rolled along very well and was, on the whole, highly enjoyable. Not for those sensitive of the ear or easily-shocked, but it doesn't pretend to be. Any book that can make me belly-laugh is ok by me. Recommended.
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