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Stella O'Malley
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Bully-Proof Kids: Practical Tools to Help Your Child to Grow Up Confident, Resilient and Strong Paperback

4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 78 ratings
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  1. Print length
    208 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Dimensions
    15.24 x 2.54 x 22.86 cm
  4. ISBN-10
    0717175421
  5. ISBN-13
    978-0717175420
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Product details

  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0717175421
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0717175420
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.24 x 2.54 x 22.86 cm
  • Customer reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 78 ratings

About the author

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Stella O'Malley

Stella O'Malley

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Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
78 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book provides sound advice and is a valuable resource for teachers and anyone working with young people. They describe it as an excellent read and recommend it to friends.

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Advice levelReadability
3 customers mention ‘Advice level’3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides valuable advice for head teachers and anyone working with young people. They say it's a good source of sound advice, but not always realistic.

"...Generally speaking, despite these demerits, the book is a valuable source of advice relating to one of the principal challenges of parenting,..." Read more

"...I am a martial arts instructor and parent and this book is invaluable." Read more

"A perfect book for head teachers and anyone else working with young people..." Read more

3 customers mention ‘Readability’3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read. They recommend it highly.

"I cannot recommend this book enough - it is BRILLIANT...." Read more

"Brillant!!! I have recommended this book to so many of my friends...." Read more

"One of the best books I've ever read. I am a martial arts instructor and parent and this book is invaluable." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

C Whiter
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for all parents of pre-teens and teenagers
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 1 May 2022
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I cannot recommend this book enough - it is BRILLIANT. My son was being bullied at school and this book gave me the knowledge and confidence to understand what was happening, to know what to do and the confidence to act quickly. My other son is entering the social awareness stage and is experiencing some of the social argy-bargy that goes with it and this book has given me the knowledge and words to help discuss with him exactly what is going on and how to handle it.
2 people found this helpful
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SHIELDFAN
4.0 out of 5 stars GENERALLY VERY SOUND ADVICE BUT NOT ALWAYS REALISTIC
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 December 2023
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One might be predisposed to believe that a book titled BULLY-PROOF KIDS written in 2023 by a psychotherapist advises parents to wrap their children in cotton wool. Fortunately, this is not the case. A mere 14 pages into the book, author Stella O’Malley tells a very sensible truth; “It isn’t appropriate to protect children from everything.” Absolutely right, and more to the point, it isn’t possible to protect them from every evil that may befall them. She also comments on the damage done when the word “bully” is used indiscriminately. She could not fairly be accused of encouraging the development of snowflake mentalities.

O’Malley’s analysis of the human psyche meets the expectations that one might reasonably have of someone with her qualifications, experience and public profile. She spells out the rather unpalatable truth that during teenage years, peers replace family as the chief influence, and advises sensible caution about the potentially corrosive effects of social media, whilst acknowledging that it is here to stay. Thankfully, she promotes personal responsibility for one’s own actions very forcefully, stressing the benefits that it brings to those who accept it. Equally, she points out that refusal to embrace the vital concept of personal responsibility is a dangerous indicator of victimhood, something that is mistakenly encouraged today.

But does this mean that O’Malley advocates a return to the bad old days when bullying was considered “character-forming?” Absolutely not. She condemns, rightly, many old-fashioned private boarding schools as being “a Petri dish for creating bullies” and advises against simple stereotypical advice to children to “be themselves” or accusing bullies of “being jealous.” The complexity of human nature is a recurrent, and very important, theme throughout the book.

Unfortunately, not all the advice given in the book is realistic. O’Malley is right in stating that children will tolerate distress if they can see some meaning or purpose in that pain, but fails to point out that the bar for this is extremely high in 2023. In the past, boarding school pupils might have accepted their parents’ view that a “modicum of misery” was necessary in order to acquire a good education, and been grateful for the financial sacrifices that they had made for that education. Few, if any, would take such a misguidedly charitable view now, given that the true horrors of that “misery” are out in the open thanks to authors such as Alex Renton (STIFF UPPER LIP) and Richard Beard (SAD LITTLE MEN). O’Malley advises targets of bullying to learn how to anticipate dangerous situations and head them off; very wise counsel in itself, but the example that she gives, namely public toilets, could legitimately be viewed as a case of victim-blaming. Avoidance of such essential facilities is very much the art of the possible unless you’re prepared to wear incontinence pads. The onus needs to be on schools to design bullying out of toilets. The bully-proofing tips that she gives, such as “staying under the radar,” are not really supported with sufficient tips on how to put them into practice. She points out, correctly, that “being different” invites bullying, but the book is rather short on the description of what constitutes “being different” and glosses over the fact that, sometimes, it is far from being a matter of choice. Her analysis of rigid thinking is correct in identifying it as a barrier to finding solutions to complex problems, which bullying undoubtedly is. However, she is quick to attribute it to children without acknowledging that it is at least as common, and a lot more damaging, with parents.

Generally speaking, despite these demerits, the book is a valuable source of advice relating to one of the principal challenges of parenting, provided that the reader recognises the limitations of some of the advice that is given. For this reason it misses a five-star rating but earns the good mark of four stars.
One person found this helpful
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Jocelyn O Connell
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!!!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 September 2019
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Brillant!!! I have recommended this book to so many of my friends. Even if your child is not going through a difficult time with school, it explains about the ‘types’ of bullies. Love the chapter on the ‘by-stander’ effect... as an adult it’s changed how I look at certain situations. Excellent read!!!
One person found this helpful
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Linda Phillips
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all parents
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 March 2018
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One of the best books I've ever read. I am a martial arts instructor and parent and this book is invaluable.
2 people found this helpful
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Monika
3.0 out of 5 stars the book had a dirty cover
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 12 October 2022
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the book had a dirty cover
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john stapleton
5.0 out of 5 stars No stone unturned.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 January 2019
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A perfect book for head teachers and anyone else working with young people...
3 people found this helpful
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M Simp
5.0 out of 5 stars Useful guide for parents of children being bullied
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 August 2017
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Very helpful insights into the mind of the bully.
3 people found this helpful
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Siobhan
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for ALL parents
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 April 2018
This book is a must have for any parent. As she does in her first book cotton wool kids, Stella gives invaluable information and advice on dealing with bullying and how to try to make your children more resilient against bullies.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

readersread
1.0 out of 5 stars Nothing you don’t already know
Reviewed in the United States on 27 September 2022
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There is nothing you don’t already know or more than common sense. It is not entirely this book’s fault though, there is indeed no silver bullet on the said issue. It is all a continuum of severity - some you chalk it up to rites of passage, some you realize is essentially criminal, and every shade in between. Basically, wing it as cool and as supportive as you can. Don’t lose it and remember your child’s well-being is always number one - if not the only thing that matters- don’t let your own pride or vulnerability be the issue at center. Approach school effectively. Don’t make it worse. There is no such thing as “bully proof”, it is damage control.
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