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Bringing Metal To The Children: The Complete Berserker's Guide to World Tour Domination Paperback – 10 May 2012

3.7 out of 5 stars 9 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Collins (10 May 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0007395884
  • ISBN-13: 978-0007395880
  • Product Dimensions: 15.3 x 2.4 x 23.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 193,723 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Review

• Zakk Wylde. Great Player. Great Sound. Great Friend. EDWARD VAN HALEN
• If Zakk Wylde did not exist we would have to build him like Frankenstein's monster. The hands of Randy Rhoads sewn onto the body of Conan the Barbarian implanted with the brain of Larry David. ROB ZOMBIE
• Zakk Wylde possesses the strength Thor, heart of a lion, and endowment of a steed. When I wage war in Ragnarök, I shall order my Valkyries to bring this brave and noble Berzerker to fight along my side. ODIN, NORSE GOD AND RULER OF ASGARD
• When Zakk plays it's like Guitarmageddon!! It's an audio assault coming from his fretboard and the true meaning of guitar hero. KERRY KING
• I love and respect Zakk as if he were my son. Matter of fact, he says he is my son! He is the ultimate musician, great guitarist, and incredible on the piano. His guitar playing makes me grin ear to ear and that is a true gift. LESLIE WEST
• Zakk is a man with a truly remarkable voice that stands alongside his crazyman guit-fiddle skills. He and Darrell were always blowin' shit up, but the way I look at it, you can always fix stuff, but you can never replace the memories. RITA HANEY, DIMEBAG'S HAG
• Whenever I'm stuck on a scene, I find myself thinking, 'What would Zakk do?' Invariably, I think back to the first time I met the guy. He pulled me into a thunderous man-hug, shoved a cold Stella in my hands, whipped out his rather prodigious member, stretched it around his wrist like a fleshy Timex and asked me what time it was. Then he urinated in a trash can for about five minutes. It was, in a word, awesome. Much has been said about Zakk's status as the world's last real guitar hero. Not enough has been said about his abilities as a comic actor. If the fucker would just stop working out and let himself go already, he could be the next Belushi. TOM KAPINOS, CREATOR/EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, CALIFORNICATION
• There ain't a fake bone in his body. STEVE AUSTIN

From the Back Cover

As a twenty-five-year veteran of the Ozzy Osbourne band and Black Label Society, golden god Zakk Wylde has managed to stay alive against all odds. Now Wylde and his brother-in-Metal Eric Hendrikx take you on a Crusade of World Tour Domination, sharing deranged tales of booze-fueled destruction, laying out battle-tested Rules of the Road, and offering exclusive tips on how not to make it in the business. If you aspire to new heights of Metal mayhem, Bringing Metal to the Children will make you laugh, weep, vomit and maybe even soil yourself." --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Don't waste your money on this book. I rarely write reviews but as this book was so terrible and disappointing I felt I should this time.

I was looking forward to reading this. As a fan of Black Label society and thinking that Zakk may have some great stories from touring with Ozzy etc. I thought this book would be a page turner. It isn't.

Whilst the band are still awesome, Neither Zakk or 'cowriter' Eric Hendrikx have bothered to make this at all interesting to read. It is infant humour without any content worth reading at all. Do not bother. If you just want to hear about how great zakk thinks he is, hear some jokes about genital and read a load of rubbish about vikings that doesn't relate to anything...go for it
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Was really looking forward to reading this, but was greatly let down by it.

Very little if any substance contained within in it, all padded out with waffle about Vikings and other such nonsense and the irritatingly constant degrading of JD, it just never stops, and it get tedious real fast. I didn't expect much from a book with Zakk's (sorry, Jeffrey's) name on it, but I got much much less than even I expected...

Also there were a few spelling mistakes, and even a part where the same paragraph appeared twice... terribly put together from the writing all the way through to the editing (assuming that there actually was any).

Had to really force myself to finish it just so I could get on with the rest of my life.

I'll be throwing it in to my nearest charity shop. Maybe if someone gets to pay only 50p for it they'll feel less cheated than I do.
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For those of you who like Zakk Wylde, this is an absolute must have.
Since reading I haven't stopped laughing, it's typical carnage from the metal god and he leaves nothing for the imagination.
The book covers subjects very honestly such as his drinking, touring with some of the greats and of course his relationship with Ozzy.
Brutal, brilliant and a simple must have.
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This 'book' is such garbage I don't know where to begin. I read a lot of books and I am huge metal fan and a guitar player of nearly 30 years. I was therefore massively interested to read this book. The other bad reviews are spot on. This book is nothing more than a glorification of the author in his own mind. The humor is beyond juvenile (he includes a picture of his own scrotum), and it only smacks of a second rate BLS marketing job. All talk of other guitar players in the book falls within a church metaphor (Pope Page, Saint Rhoads, Lord Iommi etc which is beyond stupid) so you think it is a coincidence that the rehearsal space is called the Black Vatican and the new album is Catacombs of the Black Vatican? The focus of the 'book' lies heavily on the supposed meaning of the badges of BLS, the meaning of the BLS family, BLS lore etc. The band was only formed around 1998 so let's not go crazy on the deeper meaning of everything.
After that there is endless waffle about Vikings which have nothing to do with a guitar player from new jersey who at one stage heavily identified himself with southern rock (I guess that didn't work out) and constant references to someone called JD who no reader will know anyway, and a stream of vulgar references to his own wife.
If this is the kind of garbage that the author will put to print to raise money then it seems BLS is struggling to sell records. I liked him better as a humble guitar player for Ozzy, not a guy who is blinded his own aura of greatness.

I have read other sensible, entertaining well written bios of other musicians (Yngwie Malmsteen, Lemmy, Keith Richards, Duff McKagan etc). These were great - they explained personal backgrounds, development of abilities, music, songwriting and the creation of their sounds.
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By dc on 8 Feb. 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
this is an ultimate read for any fan of rock,metal,ozzy or the great man himself zakk wylde,very funny and slightly strange at times a look at life on the road,on stage and in the studio's, a definite page turner
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