Brian is the pen name of Mark Time - who, in turn, is a pseudonym of a real person. Don't let that confuse you.
Brian is the mid forties man that everyone loves - as it makes them look good. A serial failure, Brian has yet to find his niche in life but still retains hope he can one day become a successful entrepreneur, his previous projects have had varying results:
Initially, he started a woman's only weightlifting club called Ma-might, yet some people loved it, some people hated it.
Vigilantes burned down his home when he set up a database for swimming trunks when he advertised 'I have a speedo file in my house'.
After that traumatic experience, Brian decided to set up a freight distribution business specifically for small packages called 'Less cargo'. Some thought it a bit snail paced.
However, repeated failure cannot hold him back, so he is now looking for a new backer for his new company called 'cadaver a go-go'... It still awaits interested investors.
It was only upon a chance meeting with someone interviewing him for importation of endangered animals that Brian realised he could make pennies from compiling his letters and emails into an ebook where he writes to such luminaries as:
HM Queen to ask her favourite flavour of Pot Noodle
The Australian Prime Minister to ask why cricketer Jason 'Dizzy' Gillespie has anything to do with future politics
The Olympic Committee to sanction his own created sport labadax into the next summer games
The manager of Liverpool FC for a trial as he's never had a yellow card while playing 5-a side
Oh and a local councillor to investigate a possible IKEA meatball scam
He is now travelling around the US in an RV and seems to have again got himself into a bit of hot water.
His alternative social commentary can also be viewed on satirical websites.
He sometimes lives with his wife Mrs Flan, and their two sons Aaron and Darren