Top critical review
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This book does not, nor even attempt, to be any kind of guide to Brain Based Parenting.
on 11 February 2015
Extremely comprehensive scientific account of how the brain creates attachment - resonance, one-ness, engagement, affectionate bonding etc – between parents and children. But - and for me it is a killer “but” – it is desperately short on any meaningful strategies for dealing with difficulties.
For some it may be enough – even helpful or healing – to the have the problem described in ways that are refreshingly rooted in science. But for me it was very disappointing to get though some pretty dense neurobiologically based chapters – only to find the advice on effecting change – i.e. the methods and processes to become the BRAIN BASED PARENT of the title – were scant to absent.
What little there is, is aimed at psychotherapists and is steeped in the vague, hand-wafty psychobabble of the worst sort. “ Remember to tread carefully”. “Allow the parent all the time it takes to express their own shame at perceived parental failures.”
Really nothing there to speak of that couldn’t be summed up with, “ work with kindness, calm and compassion as you do with all your clients.”
The ultimate reason the book drops two stars is because a book that describes itself as Brain Based Parenting – should give some ideas how, indeed, to effectively become one, not merely all the ways in which it can go awry.
Should be titled: What Happens in the Brain During Attachment. And subtitled: a neurobiological description of how things go wrong.
This book does not, nor even attempt, to be any kind of guide to Brain Based Parenting. Nor would it, mostly, help those parents who are encountering difficulties attaching (usually from their own childhood deficiencies). Nor would it give most psychotherapists many real processes or techniques for intervening when they have clients who are more troubled in their attachment to their children.
Altogether a wasted opportunity. Because a book of the sort this is not, is sorely needed.