- Format: Kindle Edition
- File Size: 1878 KB
- Print Length: 15 pages
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publisher: White Wolf Press, LLC (29 Jan. 2011)
- Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B004LGTRNA
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Average Customer Review: 3 customer reviews
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,415,205 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Beyond the Veil Kindle Edition
Would you like to tell us about a lower price?
Top customer reviews
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
"Beyond the Veil" is a short story that discusses two different worlds. The first world is simply the world we all live in where humans go about their daily lives. The second world is where we go when we die, the place where we prepare for our reincarnation (don't worry, it won't push any religion on you). Vincent will have to venture into this second world in order to learn how to save his daughter.
The author's writing style was, for the most part, very good. At the end, it became a bit chaotic and difficult to understand everything that was happening, but otherwise everything is explained well and developed extremely well for a short story.
Despite the development, I still just didn't fully become engrossed in the story; had it been a full length novel, I would have easily become distracted. I'm not entirely sure why this was since the story is very strong in plot and development, but I can only guess that it was because it was a bit predictable. It was a very original story, don't get me wrong, but I just found myself guessing correctly what was ahead; there were no twists or turns, which some people will probably appreciate greatly.
Overall, I just want to say that I highly recommend downloading this short story. It's not perfect, but it's definitely very close! It's quite an excellent short fantasy read that I think most will enjoy.
To begin with, the names Rathborne chose for his characters--Malcifious, Dardra, Kindra, even Kevriel--made me wonder if he wasn't just sitting at a computer with a name generator. I can appreciate a 'fantasy' name here and there, but when they become a main device in character development so early in the story--because god knows there wasn't much else going for those characters--there is definitely something lacking.
But the naming is hardly half of what makes me lean away from this piece of writing.
The opening paragraph was the beginning of the rocky, jumbled journey of this piece. "If only he'd put air in her tires" is the line the author offers to try and explain the circumstances that leave the main character a widower. I seriously doubt that the amount of air in her tires influenced whatever accident the wife was in. I don't mind that Rathborne didn't offer much (or any) explanation concerning the wife's death. But if the husband is seriously blaming himself for her death because it was supposedly his job to put air in her tires (which they teach you to do in driver's ed, and if she couldn't have figured it out for herself the wife really shouldn't have been driving in the first place, ergo she died victim of her own negligence) then the husband's psychological situation should have been better emphasized, rather than touched upon in a single sentence and then left.
And I like to think of myself as a fairly forgiving reader. I didn't mind that, as reviewer Meori Gaditris put it, that the "book went from normal life to just plain bizarre." I didn't even mind that the main character doesn't so much as bat an eyelash at the new situation he's thrown into when he is taken directly from his car to 'beyond the veil,' though it would be a little more relatable if he found the setting he was yanked into as remarkable crappy as this reader did.
It's the narrative that I can't forgive; the description of a river that the main character, Vincent, encounters early in the story is incredibly scientific. The "azure waters streaked with rivers of color ranging from turquoise to violet and obsodian" and the "translucent stones whose colors shifted depending on the angle from which they were viewed." The description is so painfully sterile, you could perform surgery on it. Look at me, I'm writing a review and I'm writing better than this guy.
Anyway, long story short, this short story went on for too long. I'm glad this one was free, because I would have tossed my Kindle out the window if I'd had to pay in anything but time--which I wish I hadn't wasted on reading this story.
I fortunately got this during a free Kindle promotion - if they ever start charging for it save your money!
I read this story putting aside all thoughts of negativity, but I see why the reviews were negative. In Dungeons and Dragons terms, I view this as a "Hack and Slash" adventure. This had all of the action you could ask for but there was no story and no character development. By the time you get to know the characters, the story is already over.
Can't say I would recommend this to anyone, and I'm hesitant to try any of his longer stories.