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Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome Paperback – 15 Jun. 2010
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*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards*
* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women's Issues Category *
Girls with Asperger's Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.
This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.
This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger's Syndrome.
- ISBN-101849058261
- ISBN-13978-1849058261
- Edition1st
- PublisherJessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd
- Publication date15 Jun. 2010
- LanguageEnglish
- Dimensions15.24 x 1.4 x 22.86 cm
- Print length240 pages
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Every chapter deals with the everyday things that occur in life, explaining how you could feel when you're in love, when you fancy someone, to what you do and should do when going on a date. Sexual relationships and sexual activity are clearly explained, as are how they are affected by sensory issues and whether sex is painful and annoying -- Asperger United
It is interesting the way temper meltdowns are described very accurately and are written just as I experience them, including crying, frustration, shouting, yelling, being sarcastic, becoming vicious, feeling faint or dizzy and that temper meltdowns often happen when we are hungry. -- Asperger United
This is a very readable and enlightening book for all Aspergrirls, their family, friends and involved others... This thoughtful account enthuses the reader and builds their understanding of the specific needs of Aspergirls; a highly recommended book. -- Youth in Mind
In the accessible and relevant 'Aspergirls', Rudy Simone takes the reader through the stages of life from childhood to old age, looking at issues such as the Aspergirl's 'meltdowns', 'stims' (self-stimulatory behaviour), literal thinking, socialising and sexuality. It is written in a touching, often humorous and very practical style, effectively providing a life manual for females with Asperger Syndrome. The anecdotes from Aspergirls she has interviewed broaden the reader's insight into what is must be like to live with this syndrome. -- Speech & Language Therapy in Practice
In a lovely style, Rudy Simone covers every aspect of personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt and savant skills to friendships, romance and marriage...Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception and empowers Aspergirls to lead happy and fulfilled lives. -- Human Givens Journal
I can highly recommend this book to all Aspergirls and their parents, family, partners and professionals, as well as to all members of our community. With humour, love, liking and respect Rudy opens our eyes to the World of the Aspergirl, providing powerful insights on love, learning, sex, career, marriage, having children, friendships, puberty, diagnosis, emotions, health, aging and more...For too many years we have missed Aspergirls due to our current understanding of Asperger's syndrome being largely based on a male presentation. Rudy generously provides, through deep personal insight and her interviews with other Aspergirls, a broader definition and understanding, one that will help bridge the gap between Aspergirls and the non-spectrum population. -- Dr Michelle Garnett MPsych(Clin) PhD MAPS MCCP, Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist, Minds & Hearts: A Specialist Clinic for Asperger's Syndrome and Autism
Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like thy do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas. -- Help! SOS for Parents
Many people, doctors and counsellors included, see AS (Autism Spectrum) as predominately affecting men. The Aspergirls is more often than not overlooked or diagnosed later in life. Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like they do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas.' - Help! S-O-S for Parents
'Specialists' books are all very well, but what people really, really need are the 'case histories' told from the inside. And so far this is the best I've seen. Aspergirls is a mix between Rudy's own experience and that of other Aspergirls, as well as pure advice, both to other Aspies as well as to Neurotypicals.
This book is a tremendous resource for Aspergirls, their parents, family, friends and professionals. Based on Ms. Simone's personal insight as well as her interviews of over 35 women on the spectrum, this book will serve as an inclusive reference manual. Each chapter is packed with information on sensory overload, guilt, dating, higher learning and career, medication, meltdowns and stomach issues to name only a few. At the end of each chapter are sections containing very practical suggestions for Aspergirls, and their parents for handling the multitude of issues that can accompany Asperger's syndrome. She also encourages Aspergirls to celebrate and cherish who they are and puts to rest some common myths about girls on the spectrum. She encourages us with statements such as, "Life is about making a contribution, not about being popular and fitting in." Ms. Simone is very candid and open about her own struggles and with bullying experiences. She also discusses the difficulties in identifying women on the spectrum. This book will serve as an excellent reference for the Aspergirl and those who love/work with her. -- Bonnie Kimpling-Kelly, teacher and behavior analyst
This book is an easy to read, sensitive and funny at times while presenting some serious matters to consider. The concerns are focused on the individual but inclusive of the parents, educator and the community surrounding them. Whether you are a parent of a child with Asperger Syndrome or know someone who is, this is a must read as it will not only provide the reader with a good insight and look into the lives of girls with Asperger Syndrome, but also make you laugh as you develop more compassion aside faith. -- Oren Shtayermman ― Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders
Book Description
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd; 1st edition (15 Jun. 2010)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 240 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1849058261
- ISBN-13 : 978-1849058261
- Dimensions : 15.24 x 1.4 x 22.86 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 131,612 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 94 in Physical Impairments
- 280 in Neurology
- 322 in Parenting Hyperactive Children & Children with Disabilities
- Customer reviews:
About the author

Rudy Simone, now known as Artemisia Xene, is the author of 6 best-selling books on Asperger Syndrome as well as fiction books.
As Artemisia: "Sex and the Single Aspie" (JKP 2018) - a candid and honest look at Aspergirl sexuality written as memoir.
As Rudy Simone: "Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome" (JKP 2010), "Asperger's on the Job: Must-have Advice" (Future Horizons 2010) "22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man With Asperger Syndrome" (JKP 2009) "22 Things a Woman with Aspergers Wants her Partner to Know" (JKP 2012) and "Aunt Aspie's Guide to Life" (JKP 2016). Three of her books have won awards, including the Independent Publishers Gold medal(Ippy), Foreword Review Gold medal and a Living Now Silver medal. Her books have been translated into eleven other languages. She has also written an epic fantasy novel "Orsath" (Kindle).
As ARtemisia Xene: "Orsath", an epic fantasy (orignally The Fool Series), being released Dec. 2018 on Amazon exclusively, both paperback and kindle.
Artemisia has lectured at Autism/Asperger conferences around the world. Her website www.help4aspergers.com is the #1 resource in the world to find information on general Asperger traits, and on how AS manifests in females.
Artemisia Xene is also an award-winning singer/songwriter. Her albums "Thief of Dreams" "Gothic Blues" and "Penny Dreadful" were released as Rudy Simone and are readily available on Itunes or for free on soundcloud (station: ArtemisiaX). A 4th album is coming. You can watch videos on her youtube channel rudytutti, and support all her work and get personal rewards on her Patreon page (TheArtemisia)
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book insightful and helpful for understanding and accepting themselves. They describe it as an engaging read with a clear writing style. Many consider it a valuable resource worth the price. However, some readers felt the content was disappointing or overly serious, while others found the organization confusing or difficult to get into.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book insightful and helpful. They say it offers practical advice for situations they may face. Many consider it a fantastic resource for anyone interested in learning more about Asperger's Syndrome. The collection of testimonies from women with AS is also appreciated.
"...This is the first book I've read on the subject that has made me laugh, cry and feel genuinely understood and positive...." Read more
"A must read for relatives and autistic females. I could identify with so much...." Read more
"...However, I persevered and I'm glad I did. So many of the chapters were helpful to me and I picked up some good tips along the way...." Read more
"An accessible and humane book. So helpful to have verbatim accounts from different women with Asperger’s...." Read more
Customers find the book easy to read and engaging. They appreciate the insightful content and clear explanations of Asperger's Syndrome.
"...Is a good book all the same." Read more
"...It was nice to read though about people who do react like you ...." Read more
"Well... Rudy Simone's books are good, and describes the very distinct different way AS affect girls to boys...." Read more
"...In content it was admirable, insightful, thorough and clear. I think a new edition with extra reflections on positive advantages of Aspergirls...." Read more
Customers find the book's written content easy to understand and relatable. They appreciate the clear explanations and links to stories. Readers also value the small details that are often overlooked. While some consider the idea good, others feel the execution is not great.
"...She writes in a chatty, upbeat style that is really easy to read (I got through the book in a day) and I found myself annotating the pages for my..." Read more
"...I could identify with so much. I especially loved the little details that is usually overlooked eg medicine sensitivity. Thank you to the author" Read more
"Very well written and an amazing insight as to how Aspergers affects not only the person with it, but their surrounding family/friends...." Read more
"...It made complete sense and explained why most seemingly simple things in my life are just so hard...." Read more
Customers find the book valuable and worth the price.
"...book - the chart of female symptoms in the back of the book is worth the price alone. As it says in the subtitle, a truly empowering book." Read more
"...Good price too!" Read more
"...The product was the cheapest on the market and i found the service straight forward, efficient and in good condition on delivery." Read more
"Incredibly valuable but (ironically) rather normative (straight gender concepts are dominant)..." Read more
Customers have different views on the book's organization. Some appreciate the well-organized accounts for each life stage and find it helpful. Others find the material confusing and difficult to get into.
"...The accounts are organised for each stage of life which is helpful. I thoroughly recommend this book." Read more
"...Even if you do remember it, it feels confusing to me...." Read more
"...I love the way she organised the book:she covers it all!..." Read more
"I would say it is confused and pretty badly written. Maybe I am wrong though...." Read more
Customers find the book's content disappointing, disheartening, and lacking. They describe it as short but compelling.
"...in to education and go to university I found it very disheartening to read an entire chapter that is basically telling me over and over again, 'Hey,..." Read more
"...I found it a rather overly serious and gloomy read, which isn't quite how I see the situation pertaining to women on the spectrum...." Read more
"...do have diagnosed Aspergers, but I found the whole thing bland and disappointing after reading great things about it...." Read more
"Not badly written, but the content came across as self-entitled waffle...." Read more
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Top reviews from United Kingdom
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- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 October 2011In typical Aspie fashion, as soon as I learned I had the syndrome I set out to find out as much as I could about it (kind of strange I know, since I've lived with it for over 40 years!). Having waded through two books on the subject so far by NT clinicians/'experts' and felt alternately patronised and at least partially misunderstood, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind now that if you truly want to know what it's like to have AS, you need to read books by authors who have it. Rudy Simone is one such author, and a great one at that.
From the very first page of this book to the very last I finally felt that here was someone who had lived a near replica of my life - apart from her reported terrible childhood at home, which I didn't share, we could be twins. She writes in a chatty, upbeat style that is really easy to read (I got through the book in a day) and I found myself annotating the pages for my family - copious 'YES!' comments started appearing and I lost count of the amount of times I stopped in my tracks at the sheer accuracy of the account. This is the first book I've read on the subject that has made me laugh, cry and feel genuinely understood and positive. And they say that Aspies have emotional difficulties - don't believe a word of it! Unsurprisingly with a syndrome as diverse as this, there are still one or two little things that aren't relevant to me (for instance, I disagree with Rudy when she says we would prefer a small shop to a supermarket - I feel I can be anonymous in a supermarket, whereas in a small shop I always feel hassled by assistants), but I found far less to disagree with than in the other books I've read and my overwhelming feeling about the book was positive.
If you are a female Aspie, or if you have any female in your family with AS or suspected AS, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. If you or a 'specialist' have ever dismissed a diagnosis for your loved one because the books tell you Aspies should have impaired imagination and your loved one has the most vivid imagination you've ever come across, or because we're supposed to be 'cold and unemotional' and your loved one is more touchy-feely than any NT you've ever met, this book will enlighten you. In fact, you don't even need to read the whole book - the chart of female symptoms in the back of the book is worth the price alone.
As it says in the subtitle, a truly empowering book.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 February 2024A must read for relatives and autistic females. I could identify with so much. I especially loved the little details that is usually overlooked eg medicine sensitivity. Thank you to the author
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 7 June 2017A few chapters in I found myself wondering what it was that prompted me to buy the book. I am currently undergoing assessment for ASD and have been reading as mch as I can since my GP told me he suspects I may have it. I ordered a lot of book on the subject and this was the first on my hitlist because the table at the back of the book is like a description of myself, and this is what prompted me to buy the book. Well, in conjunction to the rave reviews on here.
I am going to have to say the first few chapters in, I was bitterly disappointed with my purchase. I'm in the UK and I found it too American and didn't like the way the author used "we", and "us" constantly and with such sweeping statement. I felt like the book and what she was saying wasn't applicable to me at all and found myself feeling lost again and like I was clutching at straws. However, I persevered and I'm glad I did. So many of the chapters were helpful to me and I picked up some good tips along the way. In the beginning I thought I'd end up giving 1 or 2 stars but now I've read the whole thing cover to cover I have to give it 4 stars because I felt like in the end, I could actually relate to it quite a lot and I liked the perspectives and experience of AS women too.
I like the way the end of each chapter has a small section on "Advice to Aspergirls" and "Advice to Parents". I'm not going to remember everything I read but I can see me dipping in and out of this book in the future as necessary to remind myself of some of the suggestions that were made, especially when it comes to employment and relationship. Even tho I am 35 years of age, I think my parents could also benefit from reading this book to help give them a better understanding so that maybe they can stop feeling guilty and blaming themselves as though it is somehow their fault and they are somehow bad parents for not spotting anything was wrong when I was a child.
Even though I am only half way through being assessed and do not have a formal diagnosis yet, this book has helped me understand and accept myself and that can't be a bad thing can it. I would recommend it but just be aware of some of the negatives I have pointed out. I should add that in the foreword/intro she does mention that she is or can be quite random and you may find she jumps about a bit in the book and you may find it strange or whatever. So don't say you weren't warned :-) Is a good book all the same.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 9 September 2024An accessible and humane book. So helpful to have verbatim accounts from different women with Asperger’s. They are women who are managing in life, their jobs, relationships, children and so on but with the added burden of Asperger’s. The accounts are organised for each stage of life which is helpful. I thoroughly recommend this book.
- Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 July 2011Well I really enjoyed this book. I have an Asperger son ( original diagnosis medium to severe Autism) and after looking into it all can see the Aspergers all thru my family and my husbands as well. We have lived with it all now for 16 years so tend not to buy books etc anymore as we have been there/seen that/got the t shirt ( Tony Atwood is fantastic for books) but this one had a different perspective so I bought it. I found it to be very insightful ; not all of it was relevent to our family but then AS is not one set of exact symptoms so we dont all react in the same way. It was nice to read though about people who do react like you .
One thing to say is that one reviewer felt that the section on diet to manage the condition was very American and wasnt sure about it. Well we put our son onto a gluten free/ lactose free diet 13 years ago following UK charities and recommendations. The diet has been extremely benefical to him and while I know it may seem unusual to some for us it has made a tremendous difference. It is down to personal taste but I think it was covered in the book as it covers a lot of broad range subject matters. Also yes the section on periods was simplistic but again the book is trying to be all things to all people and a young Aspergirl may find it useful.
Top reviews from other countries
Dr. Barbara StühlmeyerReviewed in Germany on 16 February 20235.0 out of 5 stars brilliant and thoughtful
Writing from the inside perspective Simone attracts reader with her well organized and entertaining style. Every Asperger’s, parent and partner should read this book!
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dudùReviewed in Italy on 16 February 20235.0 out of 5 stars Consigliato
Consigliato
myrteReviewed in the Netherlands on 28 August 20222.0 out of 5 stars Survives because there are few books on the subject
This book is okay if you want to know what 1 person feels. Sure she’s interviewed women with AS but you really miss a neutral point of view. The author contradicts herself on a lot of things and as a reader I start wondering how she interviewed them. Some interviewees are self diagnosed. This of course might be accurate but doesn’t make for a reliable point of view to depend on as a reader. Some interviewees also suffer from other things related to terrible personal trauma which is so personal that you can’t ascribe behaviour to AS alone.
The author lost me at saying she predicted 9/11 and the tsunami. And also at when she advised parents to explain your period as”your uterus fills with blood for 3 weeks and the 4th it empties itself” Perhaps she wasn’t educated on the subject at the time of writing. The author also gives out diet advice and hints that AS starts with a bad diet of the mom and points to the lack of breastfeeding as a source. (In another chapter she also points to genetics thankfully) She even mentions a pill and promotes it. In her advice to young girls she warns us men only care for looks and singles out mechanics and plumbers as people who might take advantage of us. I love facts too much, so I can’t recommend this book unfortunately.
AnanditaReviewed in India on 1 February 20205.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
I'd heard a lot about the book and is very informative indeed. . . . . . . . .
AngelReviewsReviewed in the United States on 5 May 20175.0 out of 5 stars Definitely felt empowered after reading.
I am 35. I was self diagnosed until recently (with doctors) and this book helped me on my way to understand my adult autism discovery and quest for diagnosis. I was lucky and had a friend talk to me about her diagnosis and we discovered that I have so much in common with her. She suggested I get this book and I am so grateful I did. I can see how if people were looking for a "how to deal with autism guide" this might not have all the information desired. For me, new to learning about female autism, it was perfect. I was able to see my traits in this book and many things in the book were like reading snippets from my own life. It was so beneficial for me to feel less alone in my symptoms, which until now, I had no idea was Asperger's. I also have sensory processing (disorder). I dislike that it is called a disorder and personally refer to it as my spidey senses. It can be hard for a lot of autistics and even non-autistics to agree on a full symptom list I think, because the spectrum is so varied and diverse and I have seen some reviews saying this book did not relate to their experience with autism, but for me it was spot on. It gave me a far deeper understanding of not only my present but my past. I also got to understand my Mother better who I know now is on the spectrum as well. It you are a female seeking diagnosis I highly recommend reading this and Samantha Craft's work. Keep reading and keep discovering and you will find the tools to better understand where you or someone you know fit on the spectrum. There are helpful recommendations at the end of each chapter, but as I said, if you are looking for a more in depth how to, you might need an additional book. If you are looking for understanding and want to feel less along this book really helped me there. Discovering you are autistic later in life can be so much to handle. Don't hesitate to self advocate and reach out to those that can hold space for this intense discovery. There is a lot of excitement in understanding, but there can also be a lot of grief. Just keep learning more and you can figure it all out. The grief will pass. Autism doesn't mean we are broken. It means we are different, special, and unique, and that is so exciting!












